CHAPTER TEN

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||CHAPTER TEN // DIFFICULT QUESTIONS||

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||CHAPTER TEN // DIFFICULT QUESTIONS||

That night Dakota had a hard time falling asleep, her tossing and turning kept Dean awake as well. He hated that his daughter was unhappy, he didn't exactly like the situation either, but he was getting a chance to spend time with his mom and dad, together.

"Daddy?" Dakota whispers into the quiet room, Dean turns on his back and looks up at the ceiling.

"Yeah?" He responds after a moment, Dakota shifts around for another second before sitting up and facing her dad.

"Why don't I have a mommy? Where is she?" She finally asks, Dean freezes up.

Dakota has never asked about her mother before, of course she's been curious about her but never questioned her absence. She's never been faced with a situation where she's been reminded of what she's missed in her life.

Dean slowly sits up, forgetting his exhaustion. "Uh..." Dean stumbles to form a coherent thought, all of his words are racing in his head. "Well, she-uh-she...baby, she wanted to follow her dreams." He finally says, he knows his words aren't exactly true.

"Why didn't she take us with her? And Sammy?" Dakota questions, her voice beginning to shake through his sentences.

"Kota, she knew that we wouldn't be happy being dragged around." Dean says, trying to get her to understand the situation without using the hurtful truth.

"I'm not unhappy." Dakota mumbles looking down at her hands, Dean stills for a moment.

"What?" He asks, thinking he misunderstood her.

"You drag me around and I'm not unhappy." She whispers quietly.

Dean looks away from her, completely saddened by the truth of the situation. He's doing exactly what she said, he didn't want to be away from her like he was with his dad. Instead he put her in danger to keep her with him, scarring her mentally with all the nightmarish things she's already witnessed.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Dean apologizes quietly before pulling her into his lap and leaning back against the headboard of the bed. "The truth is, baby, that your mother wasn't ready  for you."

Dakota sniffles and Dean pulls her closer to him, causing her to snuggle into his chest. "She didn't want me?" She asks, Dean is hardly able to catch her words because of how quietly she's speaking.

"That's not what I'm saying, she was happy that she was pregnant with you. But with that happiness also came fear and anxiety." Dean admits, pressing his lips to Dakota's head. "I was nervous as hell, I mean I wasn't ready to be a dad. That all changed when I saw you for the first time, I immediately fell in love and felt the need to protect you. Your mother...she didn't exactly feel the same way. She wasn't ready for everything to change."

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