𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐩𝐬 ✓

58

"Lexi," Chase says while kicking the ball to me gently. He told me that he'd show me some techniques, but I decided to make it more fun by playing on the beach. Plus I'm just wearing bikini bottoms and his soccer jersey which I know gets to him.

"Chase."

"So you know how we have a tournament this weekend?" I nod, wondering why he's talking about it more. "Well, we found out where it is. It's in Lance." Lance is five hours away so I pout.

"So that's what Crystal was talking about on Tuesday right? You're going for the weekend." I say, keeping my emotions out of my voice, I mean, I'm not happy that he's leaving but I know that he has to. He nods reluctantly. "Chase, it's fine. We can call and text all the time." He nods again but his expression changes to one of...guilt?

"I won't be here when you sleep, love." Oh. I didn't think about that. The nightmares only occur if I let go of him in my sleep, but I no longer have panic attacks because when I wake up, he's always there. What will happen if he leaves?

"It's okay, I know you have to go, and you'll do so well. I don't need you worrying about me the whole time, that won't help you win." I try to say as enthusiastically as I can under the circumstances. "And I'll still hav―" I stop myself. I was going to say that I'd still have Faye, but I remembered that she'll be going with the rest of the cheerleaders, as well as Maddox, Luke, and Reece.

"Wow, I really need more friends," I say, half-joking. I try to laugh but it just sounds pained. I kick the ball back to Chase, trying to take my mind off of it.

"Angel I really don't want to leave you." He says, and I know that he's telling the truth. As much as he loves soccer, he wants to be there for me.

"I know Chase, but it's okay. You can't always be with me. I'll have to figure out how to be alone eventually." I say frustratedly and Chase's head rears back like I slapped him. I sigh. "I don't mean it like...I'm sorry, it's really fine Chase, I don't want you to feel bad about doing something that you want to do, I want you to be excited to go," I say honestly, feeling awful that I'm making him feel guilty for leaving me for one weekend to go do something that he loves. He nods, probably not knowing what else to say.

I know that nothing I say will placate him, so we continue to kick the soccer ball back and forth, changing the subject to something else, although the tension never dissipates.

"Hey A, how are you?" Tatiana asks over the phone. I decided to call my sister for the first time in what feels like forever. The last time I called her was when Eli broke his leg and we were in middle school.

"I'm fine, I want to know how you are," I say, playing with my hair as I pace around and end up in various places in my room, now upside down hanging off of my bed.

"Fine huh? I don't need to be your twin to know that fine means exactly the opposite. Something you want to talk about with me? Or are we calling to get your mind off of that something?" I don't know how she knows me so well after being the most absentee sister one could possibly have while still living in the same house, but somehow she hit the nail right on the head.

I sigh. "The second one. Please, and thank you."

"Anytime A, I'll gladly talk about myself." She laughs, probably telling the truth. She hasn't changed completely, although I wouldn't want her to, just the conniving, aloof parts I can do without. "So I'm currently in Milan, doing this shoot where I'm basically half naked all day, surrounded by half-naked male models who are strategically placed all over me, and I'm like, the center of attention. It's so fun! They're all Italian, and I met this one named Ricardo..." I start to zone out. "A, is this not helping?" She asks sincerely, eventually realizing that I wasn't paying attention.

"Not really, no." I shake my head as my voice cracks, trying to will the tears away.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." So she starts bringing up the best moments of our childhood, reliving all the moments up until the point when we started to grow apart, which she maneuvers around. I find myself successfully distracted, adding in my own perspective. We laugh about funny moments, and she even tells me some secrets that she had hidden from me.

When we decide to end the call, I feel lighter and happier, but the sinking feeling returns once I am alone again.