"Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter."– Tom Robbins
Francis was torn between the arrival of the baby and his undying love to his wife. He already fell in love with the chubby male infant when he first held him. He stopped crying whenever he cuddle the bundle of joy. Francis realized the mistake with Lola will be undone and now he will be burdened with this new responsibility. He has to face the rage and jealousy of Mary. But his love for Mary was never ending, whatever happened between them.
It was the second scene he has to be with a baby in the set. Toby rarely got anxious in any scene before except some intimate scene with Addy. He admitted he lose himself a bit of himself with Addy. He knew he has to be Francis but he couldn't hide his passion for her as Toby Regbo. He felt a bit at ease lately. He admitted that felt more relaxed after their love relationship already declared to each other but still remained as a secret to others. He didn't want to mess up his private life with the rest of the world. But he knew he couldn't go on like that forever.
Since Addy arrived, he kept her busy with lots of messages and calls in between the takes, or even before he closed his eyes at night. Almost every day. He realized he couldn't erase the moment when Addy met with Sean, their laughter, their easiness being together. He felt severely tormented whenever it flashed into his mind. He was feeling jealous. Badly. He sweat in coldness, of bad dreams that he might lose his love. He felt he couldn't kept their secret any longer. He needed to be bold enough to declare to the world his love to Addy and she was only his. He needed to be firm with his friend. But he knew he was such a coward, a fool in love. He cursed himself repeatedly. He felt slowly defeated.
Toby was resting on chair provided on the set, fidgeting since an hour ago. He kept pulling the edge of his trim beard and brushing his neck. His hand was sweating. His mind was elsewhere. He knew in the scene he just has to hold the baby in the tent for less than five minutes and expressed his emotions towards the cubby baby. But he felt so difficult. So damn difficult! This time they used a real baby on set. A real baby, he murmured.
Everyone was celebrating the baby on set, except him. He didn't know how to attach to the small human but he was glad it was a real one because he didn't like when they have to use a doll when filming it. He felt so strange and awkward with the fake baby. To him the baby looked evil and it reminded him of the movie called "Chucky". He felt the doll was going to kill him sooner or later whenever he felt asleep or closed his eyes. He closed his eyes and imagined it, then he laughed nervously. How stupid I am!
"Hey....How are you, baby?" Addy came from the back, patted his shoulder, startled him a bit from his odd dream.
"Fine darling " Toby smiled at her quickly. He felt a sudden relief. Addy sat next to him. She wasn't in any costume, just in white shirt and blue jeans. She looked casual and Toby loved her simplicity. She was only observed today's scene, not taking any part in the scene which merely Toby, Anna and other small part by the supporting casts.
Addy leaned towards him and whispered,"You really look tense up."
Toby looked at her, raised his eyebrows, a bit puzzle. He said, "Really?... Well, this is my first act holding a real baby. I've never done this before."
He was telling her the truth and partly lie about it. He was worried about her new friendship with Sean. Addy felt slightly surprised - Toby rarely behaved like that. He was usually very forthcoming in any scene, willing to learn new things - archery, sword skills, riding horse or wearing heavy armor. Why was he suddenly scared of baby? Funny. Wierd.
"Aha, that's the problem," Addy smiled and raised her eyebrows, staring at him. Toby chuckled. He felt so silly.
"I tell you a bit of tips Toby... Whenever you hold the baby, just relax yourself, and immediately look at the baby face and especially his eyes. He will notice you and he will interract with you, most of the time."
"Really?" Toby straightened her back. In his life, he never hold a baby and not even his younger brother. Not his interest. Well, he never got the chance.
"Remember that baby we saw in the flight from San Diego? She was communicating with me. In baby language. Plus, I did some reading that a newborn baby won't notice your face clearly less than 3 months old. But they will noticed your gesture. Or your voice. The more you relax, the easier the interraction. That's what they called baby social skill," Addy said lenghty. Toby was listening seriously. He didn't even nodded and still frowning.
"Oh... Come on Toby. I knew you can do it." Addy added, still smiling. She rubbed his back a few times. Toby sighed and felt at ease.
Toby finally nodded and felt much better. He was glad Addy was around. He smiled widely and about to tell her something - then the director called the crews and casts for the first take. Toby immediately stood up but felt reluctant to go. He wanted to kiss her cheek but he felt there was no privacy around the place but he didn't care. He was about to lean towards Addy and she pushed him away. He almost lost his balance.
"Go, my king! The director already call you," Addy laughed. And him too.
They did not notice Sean was looking at both of them from afar. He can see how close both of them, how they laughed and interacted with each other. He couldn't determine their real relationship by this single observation. He needed to see more between them. Suddenly he felt a pang of jealousy of their closeness. He wanted to get closer to Addy. Once he saw Toby moved to the set, he slowly moved towards her.
“Surrounded by the flames of jealousy, the jealous one winds up, like the scorpion, turning the poisoned sting against himself.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
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