Sad Poetry

Spiral

I'm back, of course,
It always comes back to this,
It's all a derivative of the never changing source,
Depression, I'm never far from its grip.

Am I surprised? Of course not,
Happiness never lasts long,
No matter how hard it's saught,
It comes to an end, just like a movie or a song.

I guess it's just part of life,
I've gotta learn to live with it,
Acceptance is the key to all strife,
Yeah... There's a nice life lesson.

Should I accept it or work to change it?
It's the war between my mind and heart,
I can never find an answer that seems to fit,
Then again, where would I even start?

Like so many things, it's a matter of opinion,
And those matters are never concrete,
So I just sit here feeling lonely,
Like there's no hope or help for me.

It's been a few months since I've written,
I've lived a lifetime since,
Maybe this expression will help me,
But to know for sure; I never can.

Help or hurt, there's such a fine line between the two,
And sometimes it starts with one or the other and ends with something new.

You can help me and then hurt me,
Or hurt me and then help,
The difference is sometimes hard to see,
But both roads seem to lead to "hell".

Then again, all signs seem to, anymore,
That's the downside to depression,
The more your beaten to the floor,
The more your body focuses on supression.

And supression leads to repression,
Both are fuel on the fire of depression,
I can feel it getting hotter, with each day that passes,
Like the amber on a cigarette, or the whip of the rubber band as it lashes.

Pain. I need pain to feel,
But if I'm already hurting, it's idiotic to add more wounds to heal.

____________
Xo xo Jane -