Fleeting on Dragonfly Wings

And I Ran

The next few days, I shuffled between injury and hiding. New pain came before the old left, leaving it to fade gradually. This was my life, a cycle of pain, and more pain. I thought about what my mother had said. Maybe it was best for me. I could die here if I didn't escape. But where would I go? I had no inkling of the outside world. 

I wanted to be free. To fly like the birds, the butterflies, the insects always buzzing buzzing buzzing in the air next to my window. I knew whatever I did, I wouldn't be able to return home. Would I rather a quick death or more pain until I ultimately caved to it? 

It was the day of my birth, my cycle day, the day I turned thirteen that changed everything.

My mother had made me a small cake. I celebrated with my four sisters, as Analeise was at school, and Babany was sleeping. I felt a little happy when we celebrated, but I never got to see the real celebrations. There were sometimes festivities outside in Listandel, or parties when my sisters became older, or the one time my father got promoted. Times I spent locked in my room, pretending I didn't exist either.

I was back in my own room before my father got home. I didn't wish to see him today. I wanted one day in peace, my special cycle day. I was growing rapidly. I was older though I had never been far outside, never been to school, always trapped trapped trapped. 

"Boy!" I heard the call. 

I sat still in my room. I just wanted a day in peace. I begged Titania, just one day.

"Boy! You better get down here!" 

I brought my legs to my chest. I closed my eyes, one day. That was all I asked for. I heard the angry steps slam up the stairs. I waited waited waited waited waited waited.

Waited.

The door was thrown open. I glared at him.

"You come when I call you, boy," he snarled.

"It's my cycle day," I argued. "Can't I have one day of peace to myself?"

"What did you say to me?!"

"I wanted one day!" I yelled.

"Get over here," he lumbered into my room.

I slipped behind him into the hallway. I hesitated, thinking of where to run. His hands seized the back of my shirt, throwing me down the stairs. My body crashed tumbled smacked banged across the wooden stairs, landing on the wooden floor. My head was dazed as I pushed myself up, coughing blood onto the floor.

My blood my blood my blood my blood. I wanted one day of peace—crash smack bang. I felt my hands tremble with a rage I'd never felt before.

"Why must you push your hatred on me, you fat fucking coward!" I screamed.

Silverware clattered to the table in the kitchen. They were surprised. So was I. How could words just escape my mouth?

"You worthless brat!" he stumbled down the stairs.

"Did your father hate that you were a boy too?" I felt wild. "I didn't ask to be fucking born!"

"I wish you had never been!" he ripped the end table up from the hallway, shattering a vase upon the floor. 

I ducked as he swung it at me. It smashed into the wall, breaking. I didn't even know who this man was, what he did. What I knew was he was strong. My body was aching, broken bones, broken vessels, broken pride. I was fast, though. I had that going for me. I was speedy. I was cunning. He lunged for me. I jumped up, finding my wings flying a bit before I landed myself upon him, grinding his body into the floor. This was sweet sweet sweet sweet revenge. 

He threw me off of him, my body hitting the wall. I sunk to the floor. The air was gone out of me. I inhaled yet again, finding it painful. The bastard stood over me, a proud smile on his face. I tightened my fist, finding it locking with his jaw. He tumbled to the floor as I ran for it. I threw open the door. 

"I never want to see you again!" I screamed.

And I ran. I ran and ran and ran and ran and ran. I didn't know where I was going. The woods flew by me faster than I could comprehend. My lungs screamed in protest, my body ached. I pushed on, further and further, further than he could ever find me. I would never go back. I couldn't go back. I loved my mother and my sisters but my father. He was supposed to protect me.

Tears streamed down my face. I wiped them off with my hand only to find more. I pressed on, heading for something, anything. I had a new life now, a world of possibilities. I bolted through my body's screams and protests, through my thoughts like gunpowder in an inferno.

My foot collided with a branch, launching me forward. I hit a tree, sinking to the forest floor. I hurt too much to get up. Aching had turned to solid pain. My lungs were on fire, my muscles scorched. I heaved so fast. Something came up out of me. I threw up all over the ground in front of me. Everything I had eaten today resurfaced, landing among the dead leaves and branches. I pushed myself up against a tree. The wretched smell left my nose. I spit out the acid. I was so exhausted at this point. 

I felt my eyes close. I would just rest here...for now... until I could renew my strength to run again.