Fleeting on Dragonfly Wings

I Lost My Mind

I sat at the back of class, my leg kicking irritatingly against my chair. I hated these kids. I didn't mind the material or the teachers. It was my fucking classmates.

"Hey Caius," Titus taunted me again.

"Fuck off," I glared.

"I bet you're still a virgin," one of them laughed.

"The hell I am," I shot back with confidence. "You wouldn't even know the insides of anything if they bit you."

"I'll kiss you," one of them sneered.

"You fucking won't," I crossed my arms. "Bitch."

He approached me, leaning real close to my face. I was skeptical. These guys were real assholes. I didn't know what clan or level of cleanliness they came from. Still, he was too close. I couldn't back out now. His lips crashed into mine. I didn't think about it. Honestly, if I imagined he was someone else, literally anything else, it wasn't terrible. My body responded, wanting more. One of his friends pulled him off of me. I bit my lip.

"What the hell?" Titus got real defensive. "Fag."

"Shut the fuck up, Titus," I leaned back. 

"You want to shut me up," he hit my desk, getting close to me. "I'll meet you downstairs tonight, don't be fucking late."

"I'll kick your ass then," I leaned onto the table.

"To your seats," the teacher commanded.

All throughout the day, I couldn't stop thinking about what Titus was going to do to me. I didn't want to lose. I would be missing my pride, my dignity. I would do whatever I could to kick his ass. I had been told not to get into trouble but it was fucking Titus. His bitch ass always bothered me. This time, I'd shut him up for good. That night, I slipped two daggers in either one of my boots, preparing myself if things got real dirty. I kicked the side of my bed until it was about time. I then snuck downstairs, waiting for what would come.

"It's about time," Titus stood up. "I've been waiting for this moment."

"Oh yeah?" I smirked. "Let's fucking go."

He charged towards me, pinning me against the wall. I wasn't ready for that, normally my speed would have helped me dodge it. He stared into my eyes, the moonlight causing his grey eyes to glow a pale blue. His lips were forced onto my own, leaving me surprised. I relaxed into it, feeling my guards go down. Yet, I was not, for one second, going to leave the beating out of this. His body tensed as I pulled on his hair. He managed to wrestle me out of my sweatshirt, I out of his shirt. My hands wondered along his abdomen, which was smooth, untouched, fresh, soft. I never let his eyes wonder about mine too long afraid what he would say about the scars that riddled my body. 

I could feel it pressing between us. I bet he could feel it too. I hoped the illusion that I wasn't a virgin never faded in his mind. I pushed him down, pinning him against the table next to us. I let my tongue explore the insides of his mouth. I pulled back. He tasted like absolute shit. He pushed against me, again stating what was obvious. 

"You like it like that?" Titus sneered. "Bitch."

I leaned into his neck, sinking my teeth into the soft flesh. He deserved it. He gasped, whether it was of pain or pleasure I didn't know. I let my teeth sink into his arm, his stomach, his waist, the insides of both of this thighs, his wrist, his ear. I wanted to leave my mark. Everyone would see it as defeat. You lost to me, Titus.

I used my tongue to get the best cries out of him. Bruises had started poking up all over his body. I pressed against him, placing my hand around his throat. I choked him softly, biting his lip. I noticed the blood draining out of my bite in his neck.

"You're a real fucking mess," I moved back.

He fumbled to remove his pants as I took off mine. I pressed into his bruises on either side of his neck, taking my place on the throne I held above him. I moved, slow at first to adjust to the pain but then faster and faster. I loved it. I loved it I loved it I loved it I loved it. Who was in charge now? 

I moved on him. This is what he did...This is what he has done to me...This was what he had done to me. This was he brought upon himself. This is what you do...do to me. This is what you've done. This is what you've done you've done you've done you've done.

You you you you you.

I looked down at the mess I made upon him. I felt a rush of euphoria. I was so in control. It was a fantastic feeling. I loved it I loved it I loved it. I removed myself from my throne. I slipped into my pants.

Titus laid on the table, heaving. I could see the pain in his eyes as he moved then gave up. I smirked in the dark. I finally found an outlet that let me forget, that gave me a sense of so much control of my life. Titus stayed still, breathing heavily. I could get this from anyone, it didn't have to be this asshole.

"You're pitiful," I slipped back into my sweatshirt. "You dared to call me names, to treat me like garbage. Look at the wreck you are. Absolute fucking piece of shit."

I found myself in my room that night thinking about the entire encounter. It kept me awake all night. I had to do that again tomorrow. The feeling was an addiction. I wanted to tear more people to pieces, feeling that sense of euphoria again. I reached the point of exhaustion, my body shutting down but my mind still racing.

I loved it I loved it I loved it I loved it.

I wanted it I wanted it I wanted it I needed it.