𝕤𝕒𝕟 𝕗𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠 • 𝕝.𝕙

ten

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, peeking at Andy, who was sat on the opposite side of the room, eyes lifelessly fixed on his laptop screen. His long black hair was falling on his face, and I could see him yawn, adjusting his glasses.

I laid back in the huge leather seat, puffing my cheeks and sighing loudly. There was no noise to be heard, except from the sound of the air conditioner (that barely worked, by the way), and the cars passing by the office.

I looked around the room, glancing at the couple of nearly-dead plants that had been put in the corner of the dull beige open-space, and at my coworker Mia, who looked just as done with this day as I was. She looked at me and motioned for me to join her outside.

I waved at Andy, and after a couple of tries, he looked up at me, and got up from his chair, following the both of us to the smoking area at the back of the building.

The weather was what I imagined Hell would be like. The sun was almost crushing, the rays feeling like actual flames on my skin if I went under it for more than three seconds. The air felt humid and stifling, and even outside, sitting in the shade on one of those dirty wood pallets, I felt too hot to even move. I loved summer, but I felt like today was taking it a step too far.

Also, why had I decided to wear an expensive t-shirt today? I was sweating like a pig.

"This is awful," Mia began, taking a cigarette out of her pack. "There is nothing to do."

"I know," Andy answered. "I've been editing, and editing, and editing, but there's nothing to edit."

"What do you even mean?" I chuckled, taking a drag of my cigarette.

"This draft is pretty much perfect," Andy was squinting and using his hand as a shield from the sun. "Joelle is doing my fucking cunt in."

"She is being such a bitch today," I rolled my eyes.

"I'm reading a fucking draft about how a grown man is falling in love with his aunt," Mia declared. "I have it worse than any of you guys."

"I have to see my girlfriend later, so, I think I do," Andy said, exhaling the smoke. 

"Why are you even dating her?" Mia replied, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "You are so frustrating with this shit. I don't know how to tell you anymore."

"I agree," I pointed at Mia. "Just leave her if she's that awful."

"I would shut up if I were you," Andy said. "With your Oliver drama."

"It's done!" I exclaimed, frowning. "We're over!"

Mia chuckled. "Until you sleep together again."

"You guys are assholes," I groaned, throwing my cigarette butt on the floor and stepping on it to put it out. "I really didn't need that right now."

"Ooooh, boo-hoo," Mia mocked. "Come on, Lex. We're joking around."

"I don't date," I affirmed. "Relationships are too complicated and I don't see why I would want to put myself through this shit again."

"Okay, well," Andy replied after a minute. "I hope not. For your sake."

"Men are fucking assholes," I grumbled. "Sorry, but that's just the truth."

"That's why I'm a lesbian," Mia said, throwing her cigarette. "Let's get back in before Joelle freaks out on us."

"She'll freak out on us either way," I said, and both of my coworkers nodded. 

We all got back inside of the building, and sat at our respective desks, pretending to do some work.

I didn't hate my job- it wasn't that bad, after all. I liked my co-workers, and I spent most of the day sat on my ass, taking a few calls and reading novel drafts that could be really terrible, or absolutely hilarious. The two weren't exclusive. Actually, the funnier the draft was, the more terrible it ended up being. That was the sad truth.

I took a sip of my bottle of water, and closed my eyes, resting my head on the comfortable desk chair.

It had been almost a week since I'd seen Luke last. Today was Friday, and my last interaction with him had been on that Sunday morning, when he'd left my house, and I'd said no to having breakfast with him. I internally hated myself for it, and I couldn't even deny it. I had been such an idiot.

I had texted him, but had gotten no answer. I wasn't quite sure what to expect with Luke- while he seemed like he was genuinely kind and caring, I wasn't totally surprised that he was playing mind games with me. At least not after the way we'd said goodbye last weekend. I regretted this with every bone in my body, but I was much too proud to apologise.

I couldn't stop remembering that night, or at least the bits that were still in my head. It had been almost perfect. I wanted to get back to that evening, in Luke's car, making plans to rule the world, and kissing like seventeen year-olds. I hadn't felt that way in a long time. I wasn't even sure I had ever felt the way I felt when I looked at Luke, even with Oli. 

I couldn't exactly place my finger on how I felt at all. I don't think I liked it. I had been fine, trying to get over a stupid messy break-up with my ex-boyfriend, and there he had been, in that stupid coffee shop, with his stupid mocha, and his stupid sunglasses. Playing the hero, then breaking my phone screen.

I didn't feel comfortable calling myself anybody's girlfriend after a couple of months. I didn't want to start anything, even with a man that had the most beautiful blue eyes the world had ever seen, the most luscious curly blonde hair, and the most likeable smile.

I didn't want to start anything at all, but I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that... Maybe, Luke and I had already started something that was too real to ignore.

And now, it was too late to turn back.