𝕤𝕒𝕟 𝕗𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠 • 𝕝.𝕙

twenty-seven

Stepping into the office on a Thursday always felt almost painful.

The weekend was so near, yet so close, and it was so hard to focus on work when I had had more than enough already, and just wanted one more day off. Please, just one more. I was exhausted and felt like a zombie.

The world around me was somehow reminiscent of a Judd Apatow movie; very slow, yet incredibly quick, almost unreal. I was watching the days pass and I was feeling powerless. It wasn't the first time in my life that I had felt inadequate, but it was the first time I was completely alone in this. I think I missed California, but quite frankly, I didn't really believed that I did. I missed the people, but I sure as hell didn't miss everything around me.

After all, I had moved for a reason, hadn't I? Followed my gut feeling, and there I was.

I made my way through the open-space office slowly, waving hello to the few people I had made friends with. Frankly, this wasn't a huge team, and in my three weeks of working here, I had already established who I liked and who I didn't. Good news were, I liked mostly everyone!

"Hey, Williams," my manager Brad called out from his office. "Early."

I turned around, smiling as he was staring at me. He was a stone-cold asshole, with gray hair and a frown that never really went away.

"I'm usually early."

He nodded,  before looking back at his computer screen. "I like that."

I didn't say anything and carried on walking towards my desk, my large latte in my hand. I felt like a walking cliché but kept my head up high.

I could see the office bitch, Sam, staring at me over the coffee machine, before staring back down at her files and carrying on with her day.

I finally made it to my desk and let myself heavily on my desk chair, sighing out loud. It was a good thing my boss's office was at the opposite side of the office, or I would have gotten in trouble. 

"Hey, Lex," a voice called out. I looked over the white space divider, and met my co-worker Alex's eyes.

"Alex."

"It always freaks me out that we have almost the same name," he said. He was now fully standing up and leaning on top of the flimsy short wall separating our desks.

"Yeah, crazy," I fake smiled, remaining seated. "I've never had that happen to me before."

"Me neither!" he giggled, not catching onto my sarcasm. 

"Crazy," I repeated slowly, starting my computer. That conversation was excruciatingly awful for a Thursday morning, and suddenly, I was wishing I hadn't come in early.

"So, are you free?" he inquired.

"What, right now?" I asked, visibly detached. "No."

"No, I mean," he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Like, later. One of these days. This week-end."

"Oh," I snapped back into the conversation, frowning. "So, what, to go out?"

"This is going awful," he muttered, more to himself. "I'd understand if you didn't want to."

"I don't..." I began, then stopped. I took a deep breath. "I'm just trying to get started with my day, Alex."

"Okay."

"I don't mean it in a mean way, it's just... A bit much. For now. Could we talk about this later?"

"Oh, yeah," he nodded, feeling visibly embarrassed but trying to play it off. "We totally can. Sorry if I caught you off guard."

"Don't worry," I smiled. "Well... Back to work."

His face disappeared behind the white surface, and I sighed, already exhausted by this day. Obviously. This had to happen to me. My 35 years-old co-worker trying to hit on me just a few weeks after I'd moved to a new place. I missed Mia and Andy in that moment; I really did.

I turned on my laptop and stared blankly at my desktop screen. The photo I had set was a picture of Lisa and I when we'd just met. I missed my best friend. I knew I was repeating myself incessantly, but I did. 

It was a tough life being by yourself all over again.

I heard my phone vibrate in my purse, and welcomed this distraction with open arms. As I reached inside of my purse with hurry, I could hear Sam ordering people around already, and groaning at one of Alex's jokes. When he wasn't bothering me, it was someone else.

Another alert came through, as I was growing frustrated by the second.

"Damn it, where the fuck..."

I finally got a hold of it, and my breath was cut short when I read who the texts were from.

Luke Hemmings

I miss you Lex

Luke Hemmings

Like a lot

Luke Hemmings

I know we agreed on the fact that this could never work but I really thought I got it right this time. Thinking about you lots lately. 

Luke Hemmings

I'll leave you be.