soft - woosan

chapter 04

⊴ the previous night; wooyoung san minho

minho knew he was staring at jisung.

he knew people would probably start to notice once jisung's jacket caught fire from the holes he was burning into it with his eyes. 

but he also didn't care.

he was too shocked that the other had showed up out of nowhere, after all this time they hadn't seen each other or kept in touch; although that was most likely minho's fault. 

from across the room, where hyunjin and jisung talked and laughed and drank, he wondered if jisung was happy to see him. if he even cared at all, given the way they had left things between them last. left them not just in pieces, but in shreds, the fragmented remnants of what they used to share unreachable. 

minho took another swig of his drink, the sour and vile taste slipping down his throat, nullifying  his sense of reality in favour of a deluded fantasy. it replaced his lust like no other, the strong tonic becoming his only cure.   

hyunjin, no doubt sensing his descend to insanity sauntered away from minho's tormentor over to his side.

"you're leering." he deadpanned, sipping the liquid draining rapidly from his plastic cup.

"i'm not." minho replied helplessly, continuing to stare longingly in jisung's direction as he mingled with other other blissful youth.

"stop pining," hyunjin patted him on the back encouragingly, "and go strike up conversation like a normal human being." his friend nudged him forward, urging him to the small gathering on the other side of the room for emphasis. 

before he knew it, he was right behind jisung; his legs had taken him there without the consent of his brain against his will. but there he was.

"j-jisung?" was all he managed to utter out. words simply escaped him as the other turned in surprise, the hint of a smile shadowing his small lips.

"hey. what's up?" came the unexpectedly calm and flat answer from the boy in front of him. minho was bewhildered by the way jisung was acting so cool, as if they didn't even know each other.

"u-um," he began, cursing his fucking fluttering heart. "can- can we talk somewhere quieter?"

"talk?" jisung repeated, disbelief breaking through his features before he became composed again, "lee know wants to talk. yeah, okay. sure."

"i told you it's just minho now." he whispered, stuffing his hands in the warmth of his black hoodie's pockets.

"right. minho." that slight smile returned once more to jisung's expression as he repeated the name, as if testing out the new flavour of it on his tongue. "i guess you left the old name behind, along with other parts of yourself."

"yeah. i guess i did." minho replied quietly, hating how jisung was so unaffected, so unbothered. he hated how he couldn't control the unstable beating of his heart, the beats thumping so rapidly, so loudly, he was certain jisung could hear it, especially as they neared the balcony; where it was quiet.

"so what did you want to talk about?" he asked in an uninterested tone, leaning on the balcony and gazing into the night.

minho took a shaky breath, following the other and propping his chin in his hands. talking to jisung seemed to be making him sober. "we- i haven't seen you in ages."

"why do you think that is?" the atmosphere was tense, a suspenceful tightness surrounding them.

he felt like he was walking on eggshells around jisung. one wrong move was going to cause the other to release a flurry of emotions minho wasn't ready for. "i don't know, jisung. you tell me."

jisung released a light laugh, turning his body so he was facing the taller dark haired boy. "you haven't changed much, lee." minho tensed at the old nickname, hating the familiarity jisung thought he had with him.

you don't know anything.

"neither have you. except you dyed your hair." minho answered stupidly, glancing at the midnight blue locks tussled lightly by an evening breeze.

"so did you," jisung's reply was almost a whisper, his hand reaching out to touch minho's hair; caressing the soft brown strands lightly before retracting his hand. "it's sort of a chestnut brown now. i like it more than black."

minho remained frozen, eyes focused on the ground below the balcony, the touch of jisung's hand lingering like a ghost. "what are we doing here, jisung?" he asked helplessly, sick of the pretending act the other was putting on.

when jisung neglected to answer, minho allowed himself to turn his head to face him for the first time. his effortless beauty took him aback just like the first time he had laid eyes on him. but those feelings were in the past. "you were a dick to me back then." minho allowed out, scanning jisung's face for any sort of emotion.

"if by that you mean i dicked you, then yes."

"see? a dick." minho shook his head, turning away again. "you said you cared about me, but you still cheated on me."

"now this is my fault?" jisung grabbed minho by the front of shirt, pulling the boy towards him. "you are so fucking- this is typical."

minho didn't reply, he just shoved jisung away from him angrily. he would not be the weak boy jisung used to know. "fuck off, jisung. we're both different now." but i want to start over.

"if neither of us are going to address the real issue here, i will." jisung started, narrowing his eyes at minho and crossing his arms. "you're in denial, lee. you always have been. you need to wake up. wake up. because i'm still in love with you, and i always will be, but you, you said you were straight. you said we were a mistake. you never cared. that night, when you said i cheated on you, i was angry. how could i cheat on you when we weren't even together? you slept with almost every girl in our high school, as if just to prove you were straight. but who did you have to prove it to? you were trying to prove something to yourself, lee, and you need to do it again. but this time you need to be honest."

throughout jisung's speech, a few tears had sprung from minho's eyes, and while they trickled down his cheek, he realized he had almost forgotten how it felt to cry. and when the other boy was finished speaking, he advanced to minho and taking a deep breathe he leaned towards him and it was all happening so fast and minho didn't know what was happening it was happening so fast and jisung wiped his tears and stroked his cheek and his lips were on his and and and-

"i am!" minho shouted, pulling away from jisung, pushing him away like he always had. "i'm straight." he spat, eyes blazing with fire at the other and breathing hard.

jisung laughed in disappointment and in disbelief, wiping his mouth and cursing at the sky, anger causing a tear to escape his eye. "you haven't changed at all. i was right." and he spun around, walking off the balcony and into the house, leaving minho alone. again.

i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry-

but he didn't go after him. he sunk to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest and burying his head to them as his shoulders racked with quiet sobs.

jisung had picked up the pieces of his shattered heart once before, only to throw them down again, and now his mended one knew the same fate.

never again.

as he cried, alone in the cold, he swore his heart would never be broken again, and he would rebuild it; reconstruct its broken parts until it was a heart fashioned of stone. 

-

expect two updated today since this was almost a filler x (p.s i think i said  minsung knew each other in middle school but i meant high school eheh sorry about that)

dw i haven't forgotten about hongjoong! 

also tysm for almost 300 reads <3 all your comments mean so much to me i love reading them, they really make my day! x