𝐋𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐒

𝟧 𝒮𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝑒𝓇

I fully sobbed writing this, I'm so sorry

Ghost Of You
0:38 ───|────── 2:40
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▁ ▂ ▃ ▅ ▆ 100 %

Ethan laid in bed, the house completely still and peaceful. He hated it, it was never like that when Emma was there. He'd wake up to hear music, and her singing and giggling.

He covered both his eyes with his hands and let go of a croaky sob, it wasn't fair.

He let his arms limply drop to his side as he stared upon the right pillow, he couldn't lay on it because he was sure that it would get rid of her smell. If he kept everything the way it was when she left then maybe it'd mean she was still there.

Upon the bedside table, untouched, was her coffee from that morning, her lipstick stain still imprinted on it but slowly fading with each day she didn't drink from it.

Ethan had dreamt all night about her, specifically the time that they'd gone to the beach and Emma had danced through the waves with a giggle. Where's she'd wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed every inch of his face.

She had kept telling him,

"Oh Etee"

The nickname she used to call him that now no one spoke of. Sometimes he swore he could still hear her calling him when she walked in the front door with two coffee's in her hand and with her car keys between her teeth.

"You'll be just fine"

That's what she repeated, in every single dream and Ethan was sure that it actually was her telling him that.

But how was he supposed to be fine when the love of his life was gone?

He dragged himself up from his bed, he wasn't sure when the last time he showered or ate at all really.

Everything was a blur without her.

He took to the alcohol cabinet again, like usual and pulled out the first thing to hand. He wasn't sure what it was, all he knew was that it would suffice.

"Alexa play Emma's favourite song"

Ethan slurred but the musical robotic device was quick to answer with four words that stabbed his heart like a thousand knifes.

"Sorry. Who. Is. Emma"

That's when he broke down again, he knew that it was stupid to do so, but the words spoken represented his whole life.

He felt like he was the only person that remembered her.

Instead through his tears he manually pressed play on Spotify and the words filled his ears and if he listened carefully enough he could still hear Emma singing along.

He closed his eyes, still keeping a tight grip upon the neck of the bottle, he took a large chug and finally allowed his feet to dance him.

At first he swayed from side to side as the song builded and soon he found himself waltzing through the kitchen imagining that he had still got a hold of Emma as he swung her around and she giggled.

Ethan sang the words so loud that his throat burned and his voice became hoarse but he knew that that's what Emma would've wanted.

She'd always persuaded him to dance and sing and act childishly with her, but yet there he was doing it on his own. Emma would've scoffed if she'd seen him.

When the song ended the silence took back over the house and Ethan hated it, it's times like that when he would imagine having children and how they'd beg for him to put more music on so they could dance.

All he wanted was a family with Emma, they'd spoken about names for their future children, everything was planned.

Ethan decided he needed to do something to sort out his jumbled thoughts and so he returned to his bedroom to reorganise his wardrobe for the fifth time that week.

That's where he found Emma shirt, the one she'd worn their last night together and oh so many times before. He'd forgotten that he'd buried it in his own wardrobe instead of hers because of the jokes they'd made.

"If you're going to wear my shirts, I'll have to wear yours"

Ethan had smirked jumping forward and snatching her favourite shirt from their shared bed. Emma had gasped and jumped on top of bed ready to tackle Ethan to the ground.

"Etee, that's my favourite, give it back"

She had argued through her giggles but she hadn't been able to retrieve it because Ethan had brought her down onto the bed to tickle her sides.

Ethan looked across at their bed and found his eyes pooled with tears, if he tried hard enough he could still see her laid down on the mattress telling him to give it back as he pushed it into his own shirt draw.

With a sob Ethan pulled his gaze away from Emma's untouched side of the room and instead muttered,

"I wish I had told you I loved you more"

Ethan strained himself to imagine what she'd say to that without seeing her shout at him for being stupid, of course he told her he loved her enough. More than Emma thought she deserved.

The last thing he'd said to her before she got in that car was how much he loved her and that he was going to take her out for a date that night. She'd called him a sweetheart.

"You still treat me like a princess, Etee. I love you"

That's probably the last ounce of happiness Ethan had felt, he was just glad that the last thing she had assured him of before she left was that she loved him.

Ethan found himself searching for her favourite song again just to drown out the thoughts.

To stop himself from imagining Emma as she screamed as the oncoming drunk driver swerved, or the pain she felt as the bonnets collided and the cars smashed against each other.

The music filled his ears and once again he was able to calm himself down, he danced around their bedroom like they usually did together hand in hand.

Though the whole time he knew that he was alone and that when he opened his eyes, Emma wasn't going to be holding his hands.

"My feet don't dance like they did with you"