Chapter Thirty Eight: Panic

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A week. Seven damn days since anyone's seen or heard from Negan. We haven't even made anymore attempts after Aaron got attacked. Luckily he has made a full recovery but still needs to rest. I've also made a significant recovery too and plan on going to look for Negan in the next couple of days.

People have been quiet thankfully, just waiting for me to make a plan. Judith has been staying over a couple nights recently which has actually been really nice. Infirmaries can get pretty lonely at times. She keeps asking me what her dad would do and to be honest... I wish I knew.

I currently wait for Judith to come to visit but she hasn't. I guess her mother wanted her home for the night. Which I can understand. I pull the ultrasound photo out again and can't help but smile. These are my babies. These are really inside me. Little miracles. I am pulled from my thoughts when I see the door open and in comes Michonne.

"Just came to bring Judith an extra blanket." Michonne says as I furrow my brows. "Where is she anyways? The bathroom?"

"What do you mean? Judith isn't here?"

Michonne chuckles lightly, "don't play with me like that. You guys playing hide and seek or something?"

"Michonne." I say and Michonne's face contours into a more serious expression.

"What do you mean... she's not here? She's been here for the past two nights."

"She didn't show tonight. Figured you didn't want her out for some reason. When did she leave?"

"a half hour ago maybe."

Last night I was telling Judith about how much I kind of miss Negan, and how we are the only two who understand him and what he pretends to be. Judith said she knows he has changed and reassured me he would come back. She told me he is probably scared or something. I told her I couldn't wait to get better so I could go find him, yell at him, and kick his butt. I was only kidding. Well I intended to look for him but not til tomorrow.

"I know where Judith went, and we need to move quick." I say pulling the heart monitor off my finger. When the single strand of ringing went off, Saddiq ran in. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw I was okay.

"Kendall? What are you doing?"

"Judith is missing, I need to find her, I know where she went." I say hurrying up to slip on some shoes.

"Kendall, I'll go just tell me." Michonne panics

"No! We will cover more ground this way. I'm fine. I need to start helping." I explain as I am already halfway out the door on my way to the gate. "She went after Negan."

"What? Why! Why would she do that?" Michonne gasps

"Because she thinks he needs help. She's worried for him. And she wants him to be here for me. She thinks she is helping, she's going towards Whisperer territory." I say and with that we quickly make our way through the gates and through a field. I dodge a couple of walkers along the way, if anything happens to her I'll never forgive myself.

"Take it easy, you're pregnant!" Michonne orders as we continue moving. I am so out of breath but force myself to move. I can't run but I walk as fast as I possibly can.

"JUDITH!" Michonne cries out screaming her child's name in agony.

"JUDE!" I call out.

'Please be alright, please be alright.' I whisper to myself over and over again. As I'm walking I nearly trip on something.

"Michonne?" I call out to her quietly as is at my side in seconds. We both look down at my feet at the reflective silver gun that lays at my feet.

"Colt python." I mutter.

"No. No. No." Michonne begins to panic.

"Hey, we are going to find her. She probably dropped it along the way. At least we know we are on the right track." I say trying to be optimistic as possible not to freak out Michonne who picks up the gun and puts it in her belt.

Our conversation is interrupted as we see a silhouette in the distance moving closer.

"JUDITH!" Michonne calls out as the shadow moves towards us slowly. We inch closer but hear the growling and groaning of a walker. We stop once again dead in our tracks. It is too dark to see what lies before us.

"Let me check." I whisper as I cautiously move closer to her. The body looks recently turned and every hair on my body is sticking up. It springs out to bite me and I am forced to stab it in the head as it falls dead to the ground face first. It is for sure a child and my heart breaks and shatters.

"Well?" Michonne asks impatiently barely able to take it. I turn the body over revealing the young girls face.

"It's not her." I sigh in relief. "It's not Judith." I repeat as Michonne let's out an audible sigh of relief too. But our relief doesn't last for long because we still have yet to find Judith.

"You take right field, I'll take left. We will cover more area." Michonne suggests as we arrive close to the border. There are two borders marked. One is here and the other is close to hilltop. It's a far range that they've marked and we have to search nearly every inch of it without getting caught.

"Alright. But we can't separate too far." I remind her as we move. I make my way towards the border and walk along it. She couldn't have gone in. She can't be that rebellious. But sure enough the haunting sound of a child's scream fills my ears as I am traveling once again quickly on my feet. I pull out my gun as I see what at first glance looks like a walker holding a child. But when I get a closer look I see it is a Whisperer holding Judith tightly in their grasp.

"Hush child." The skin whispers as Judith struggles significantly to get out of their hold. They must've snuck up on her. Luckily they are both turned away and I am able to kill the Whisperer with ease. Judith falls from their hands as they begin to rot with the rest of the dead.

"Judith Grimes what were you thinking! Are you out of your mind?" I scold her tears prickling the sides of my eyes. I drag her by the arm out of Whisperer territory, checking her all over for injury before engulfing her in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just know you m-miss him. And I just wanted to do what dad or C-Carl would've done." She sobs as I scream for Michonne without causing too much commotion. Once Michonne arrives we spend the next hour or so home lecturing Judith and what could've been an extremely deadly choice. But we are all just happy that she is safe.

"He's alive." Judith says smiling at me as I give her a confused look.

"Who's alive?" Michonne asks

"Negan." She says.

"How do you know?" I ask a little too desperate for my liking.

"I saw him. Through the trees."

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