She's The CEO

13. In Loving Memory

I was again in San Francisco after a week for Uncle Howard's death anniversary. San Francisco is actually my father and Uncle Howard's birth place. This is where Nonna and grandpa met, this is where their children were born. This is the place where everything began.

But after dad took over Winston Corp, we moved to New York for better access to all the resources for the enterprise.

I remember my mom telling me about herself and Uncle Howard. She and him were best of the friends. They met in high school. Dad on the other hand went to Heritage Private in New York because he was too good in academics and Heritage Private had to have him. So he was offered a place there and he took the opportunity to study in a prestigious school. This was the reason why I and Caleb studied there as well.

It was due to Uncle Howard, mom and dad met. They fell in love and married within months after Uncle Howard died and soon Caleb was born.

Everyone is sitting in the huge living room and I can see frequent tears falling down mom's eyes. It was always this day that I see my mother so weak and broken. Dad is sitting beside her, holding her hand.

"I wish I knew him," Caleb says. He's wearing a simple black shirt with dark jeans, his hair perfectly held back.

"Nonna says he was like you," I tell him as I drink some water and then turn around. I can't see my mother crying. I might feel irritated with her sometimes, but I'll always prefer the strong stubborn woman over this weak fragile one.

"So I've been told," he says looking at me intently. His face hardens as his eyes catch mine. It feels like he wants to say so many things but can't.

"What is it Caleb?", I ask him I know there is something going on in his brain.

"Nothing. It's just the way Nonna describes Uncle Howard, I wish I had got to know him."

I nod, "Yeah, me too," I tell him before adding, "but this is not in our hands sometimes."

"Mom becomes so sad on this day," he comments looking at her.

"I understand. I couldnt imagine losing my best friend as well. You know there are very very few people who keep up with me and I can't imagine losing any one of them.", I say.

Caleb gives out a soft chuckle. That's when I rememebr something.

I clear my throat, "I know this isn't the right time Caleb, but you told mom about Mason before me. I thought I was the one you shared everything with, first." I say refereeing to his ex boyfriend.

Caleb looks a bit taken aback before he says, "No, it's not that. Of course you're my first person to go to."

"I mean it's okay, it's mom but it's just I don't know. I hope I didn't do anything wrong.", I tell him. Its good to clear things up before they become too messy.

"No! Of course not, Bi. But you know it's about relationship stuff and you know you suck at these things," he says casually.

I, on the other hand can't help but feel hurt. His words cut me deep and because of the fact that what he just said is absolutely true, my pain intensified a bit.

"I know," I just give him a slow nod.

"I'll go to mom. You should come too.", he says.

"I can't Caleb, you know. The moment I'll look at her I won't be able to control. I'll cry harder than her.", I tell him honestly. It's my weak spot. I can't handle seeing my loved pnes hurt. It breaks my heart.

"Well, do talk to her. She'll appreciate it," he says before pacing towards mom.

I feel my eyes moisten as well. Last week had taken a toll over me. My first few days of being the CEO were too shady.

Even though I had been literally trained to take up this position since I was sixteen, I can't help but think if I did the right thing. I had been questioning myself this whole time if I was really meant to be this person. Because this wasn't the actual plan of my life after all.

All I thought about was how it would have been if it wasn't bussiness I studied. If it would have been science, that always intrigued me, as my path for higher education.

What if that day never happened. That day when I was fourteen and Caleb was sixteen, that day when everything changed. That day, whose story I still didn't know clearly.

"You're stressing too much," the warm voice behind me said.

I hug him. I hug dad. I need this.

He strokes my hair gently, "Oh, Bianca. It's okay kiddo. Things like this happen. It's not that of a big deal."

I let lose amd shed a few more tears, "It feels like I let you down."

"But you didn't," he says. He pushes me off gently and makes me look in his eyes.

"You're my child, Bianca. I'd always forgive you. And you didn't let me down. Things like this always happen and I have faith in you. I always had faith in you. That's why you're here.", he says.

I look away. That wasn't why I was here. This is because of Caleb. I might not be sure but I had this intuition forever that it had everything to do with Caleb. Maybe that's why mom wasn't too pleases about all this as well.

But exactly what. He wanted to be a fashion designer? I guess it was just a part of it.

"I'm here for you. Now come on, the lunch is going to start and how about you spend some time with Valeria before everything is set up?", dad says.

I wipe my almost dry tears and take a deep breath before going towards my mom who is now standing in the balcony.

I walk up to her and stand beside her.

"Hey mom," she wipes her tears and gives me a painful smile.

Don't cry again. Just don't, I tell myself.

I give her a hug, "It's okay."

"I just miss him so much," she says in my neck and I pat her back. It's been so long but she just never got over it. I guess you just never can when you lose someone you love, whose too close to your heart.

"He's in a better place," I tell her. It was kind of awkward as always.

"I guess so. He was a great man, Bi. So kind, smart and funny," she says looking up in distance, as if remembering his memories in her mind.

"Come on mom. Let's get inside, lunch is almost ready," I hold her hand and bring her towards the door if the balcony. She tugs my hand to stop me.

I turn around and she suddenly gives me hug.

"I love you, Bianca. And I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. I never meant to do it. But I just keep hurting people unintentionally all the time," she sniffled.

I feel my eyes glistening again. I wanted to scream at her that after all this time she just can't ask for forgiveness so suddenly as if nothing happened. But I didn't say anything.

"Let's get you inside," I say to her giving her a tight smile and bringing her in. Nonna takes her in her hands and I run away to the nearest washroom.

I wash my face and look at myself. I feel plain. These were supposed to be the best days of my life. I was so happy and now I'm just not.

I feel my phone vibrate. I take it out and see that it is another e-mail from Chris. I ignore it but can't help but notice how my heart feels a bit heavier.

I glance myself in the mirror for the last time before pulling my hair back and wahing my hands. I come out and go to the dining area where I see everyone getting on the seat and I slip myself beside Nonna.

She stands and raises her glass, "In loving memory of a beautiful son, an amazing brother and a faithful friend, Howard Matthew Winston."