Psychopath (EDITING)

18

The fear.

The silence.

The dark.

It's all too real.

Brings back memories.

Things that I just want to forget.

I don't know how long I've been sitting here. My knees are starting to ache but my body is too tense to relax. Anything can happen. He can burst right back in here and change his mind. So, I'll just stay here. Knees against my chest, my arms surrounding them, keeping them up. I don't know why this makes me feel safe. Maybe it's the warmth of my arms, maybe it's the feeling of being small and protected. 

I don't know. But, I'll just stay here. I could get up and try and open the doors to get out, but I'm terrified of what he might do when he finds me missing again. I might be lucky this time.

I need to plan out something.

I need to get out of here.

But I need to know how to do that. I need to secure a way out. I need to gain his trust.

He can't see it coming.

And once my moment comes, I'll run far away from here. Far away from everything. 

I just want to leave everything behind.

I want to have a new life.

Anything other than this would be perfect.

I just want a life without hurt. Without fear. Without pain.

My whole life, I've had nothing but that and I don't know how much more my body can take of this.

I—

I wish things were different.

I wish I was stronger.

I guess I'm just as useless as he always told me. I'm nothing.

And nothing will come from nothing.