Psychopath (EDITING)

34

Slamming the wood door behind me, I stressfully run my hands through my tousled hair. I still can't sort out my thoughts, and my heartbeat is making it extremely difficult to think. Stephan's voice echos in my mind, filling me with this growing pain in my chest. My breath comes out in spurts as I try and figure out what I am doing. Grabbing a nearby chair, I wedge it underneath the door handle, so that Stephan can't come in and see me like this.

Placing my hand on my heart, I slowly collapse onto the bed. Tears start to pool out of my eyes, as I muffle my screams into one of Stephan's pillows. The tears seem neverending, slowly cooling my burning face, and my body starts to shake from the lack of oxygen. My mind is so filled with endless thoughts that I can't seem to find anything worth crying over.

My dad was a liar. He lied to me my whole life. My dad helped Stephan to become a monster. Maybe, my dad was a monster too...

And... Stephan. He— 

The moment I start thinking about it, my body starts to heave a heart-shattering sob. Out of frustration, I shove my face into the pillow again.

Stephan watched as I was abused. He couldn't help me... Because of my step-dad— 

His face flashes in my mind, and I feel myself about to gag. My cries come out in rough, loud spurts, and my chest starts to burn. That man... He better fucking rot in hell.

That man left so many marks and scars on my body, I don't even know who I am anymore. Who was I before him? When my dad was alive? The more I try to search for answers, the more my head throbs.

My body starts to burn up from all the crying and pain, my eyes instinctively wander over to the window.

My burning eyes don't move an inch from the large frame on the wall. Dragging my sorry body over, I brush my hands along the edges of the frame.

My hands start panicking and shaking furiously, as I don't find the relief I was looking for.

Fuck. 

Banging my head off of the window, a loose sob cries out of my mouth, as my body flops in a heap on the floor.

The more I think about everything, the more I realize that the situation Stephan described to me... choose me or millions... I realize that I'm being incredibly selfish to cry over Stephan not choosing me. I guess, if he did, and millions of people died, I would have to live with that for the rest of my life, and I don't think I would last very long with that. 

But— It still hurts. It fucking hurts so badly...

The loud rattle of the door handle drags me back into reality, and makes me realize that my actions have consequences. Panic rushes through my body, as I try and find the words to explain myself. Fuck, why did I have to slap him? God damn it, Sarah! 

The banging continues, and I hear Stephan's muffled yelling as he continues to break open the door. Soon enough, the chair crashes onto the floor, and Stephan bursts through the door. Still sitting by the window, I raise my hands and start pleading for Stephan to stop and forgive me. I have never felt so terrified in my whole life, a dark aura swarming over me on the floor. My vision is blurred by my tears, but when I weakly turn my head up to look at Stephan, I'm shocked down to my core.

The man that kills so many, the powerful leader, the one that shows no fear, is—

Crying.

"Sarah, baby. Sarah. Fuck. I'm so sorry baby. You scared the living hell out of me. I can't lose you, Sarah. Not you too" Stephan cries out, kneeling down next to me and pulling me to him. I want to push him away, but my body is frozen from this new side of him. Stephan... is crying?

Gently placing my arms on his chest, he pulls me in tighter and runs his hands through my hair. We probably sit there for only a couple of minutes, and my fatigue starts to settle over me and take me. Stephan's warmth of his body on mine, my burning eyes, my puffy cheeks, and my aching head all drag me down to a mindless sleep.

Just before passing out, I hear Stephan's voice ring out over and over again.

"I'm not losing you too. I'm not losing you too."