Psychopath (EDITING)

23

Stephan POV

Shit, man.

Fuck.

You fucking idiot.

I'm a fucking idiot.

In the amount of time I've been doing this, never— NEVER had I ever struggled this much with my emotions. She's slowly chipping away on my sanity, and it's terrifying. Things that I wanted to bury deep underground were slowly rising to the surface. People that don't fucking deserve me thinking about them. People who should just stay fucking dead. 

P-please-e, ple-ease, please just s-stop

You bastard!

See what you fucking did?

It's all your fault.

Fuck, I don't want to ever remember that piece of shit again. I barely survived before, and surrounded myself with all of this power, all of this protection, yet he still breaks through. 

I think she makes me weak. I was fine before, but her eyes seemed to spark something in me. Like a memory. I'm going to protect her this time, and Sarah won't ever end up like her. I'm not going through that again. 

I'm not fucking weak. I killed him. He's dead. I'm stronger. And I'm never letting anybody ever fucking touch somebody close to me ever again.

I am fucking Stephan Black.

My existence is built up of beatings, blood, and battles. The shit I've been through, it haunts me everyday, but I use that against others. That's why I do what I do. It's just who I am.

Coming back to my sense, I regain control of my body. Sarah is still standing close to me, watching me intently with her beautiful eyes. God, baby. You don't deserve a piece of shit like me, you're so fucking beautiful and pure. But I'm the only one who can protect you. 

But— You have to let me do that. I can't keep breaking down whenever I see her close to me, when I feel her breath on my face, when her small warm hands rest on me. I need to control myself. As much as I want to comfort and open up to my baby, I need to protect her first. She's can't fucking know anything. 

No one knows, and it's going to fucking stay that way.

"Don't" I say to her, trying to hold back my emotions as much as I can, my tone turning cold and harsh. She seems hurt and confused, and I hear my heart trying to reach out to her.

Baby, it's okay. Don't look at me like that. I'm—

I'm just fucked up, love.

Closing this part of me up, I go back to my usual business like cold exterior. This part of me is what control me, it may be overwhelming and cold, but this part of me is what protects me from the past. It's what got me through then, and I've held on to it since.

"Sarah, don't fucking pretend to give a shit." I feel my voice weaken from the hurt look she gives me. Stop it Sarah. You probably don't even know the look your giving me right now, and it's effect on me, but you need to stop. I can't control myself around you.

"Let's go. Don't fight me and fucking listen to me for once." I brutally spit out, regaining my cold front while walking right away from her. The impulse to turn right back around and hug and kiss her as an apology is so overwhelming right now. I don't even know if she is following me. I just need to keep moving. 

I would rather die, than let someone fucking hurt her. She needs to know this, but now isn't the time. Her silent steps behind me are the only thing that is letting me control the beast in me. 

It's time for business. The blood lust in me is going crazy. And I know just how to satisfy that, starting with the man who dares try and hurt my baby girl. Fucking Harris Cooper.