Psychopath (EDITING)

28

As Stephan's towering muscular back retreated down the hallway, I feel myself slow down, the events from earlier catching up to my body. I'm still so confused about what is going on in his head, but this doesn't seem good. Whoever this man that tried to hurt me is, he sparks something in Stephan for some reason. It could just be because of his interest in me, and also him trying to hurt me, but my intuition is nudging me to think deeper, that this is not just some one-time thing. There is some history between these two. I mean, they are birds of a feather. They are both in the same business, but I kind of feel like this other guy is trying to toy with Stephan. And Stephan's usual stoic blank front is starting to crack away.

Before I know it, I am back in the room that I have been staying in since being trapped here. For some weird reason, I almost catch myself sigh in relief to be back here. Maybe it's because of all the time I've spent here, I've uncovered every little nook and cranny here, so nothing surprises me when I'm here. But a very small and quiet voice deep down in my heart tells me something different. Maybe it's because his smell is so comforting now...

"God fuck no..." I think, mentally slapping myself in the face for my stupid hormonal needs. There's no fucking way I am going to let this man have any other feelings other than hate and fuck you. Period.

Stagnantly standing by the bed, I watch Stephan as he storms into the bathroom, his back flexing as it tenses. Without a second thought, he swiftly pulls off his shirt, to reveal his ever so clean-cut muscles underneath.  Even from this distance, I can see each of his pecks tense as he roughly brushes his hands through his hair. All of a sudden, I'm overwhelmed by his voice ringing out in my head. "baby— You will love me back.. And you will carry my children..." A rush of fear floods back into my veins like blood, and I suddenly feel extremely uncomfortable with him in the room. My heart starts to race as my anxiety unleashes from those terrifying words, fearing that I might never get out of here. That might be my future, and that terrifies the fuck out of me. My hands start to jitter, as I instinctively reach out for the book of my childhood, and hold it close to me. Holding it tightly, I breathe deeply in and out as my heartbeat slowly starts to calm down. The mere thought of doing anything with him is giving me stress migraines. Sighing deeply, I walk over to the window and watch the barely visible people walk down below.

"Sarah... love, I'm going to take a shower, but you can settle yourself in bed. I'll get someone to bring up dinner for you again." Stephan yells from the bathroom, his voice echoing off of the stone walls. 

Absent-mindedly, I find myself easily complying with Stephan's order. Even though I desperately want to talk back to him and tell him to fuck off, my body seems to really like the idea of lying down and not moving. Bunching up the new bedsheets one of the maids placed down on the bed, I curl up and blankly stare outside. I'm finding it so hard to keep up with everything going on, that my body is physically exhausted from it all. As I lose focus and stare into space, my vision becomes blurred as the tears start to well up in my eyes. I can hear the water running in the room next to me, but it seems to drown out as I continue to sink into nothing. I still can't believe it. Not only have my parents deeply scarred me, but now I have been taken from my poor excuse of a home, and I can't leave because this man won't let me go. And that doesn't stop there... he wants to marry me and impregnate me...

I wish I could call out to my parents or somebody, but it isn't until now that it truly sinks down that I have nobody...

I'm not sure how long I've been staring at this window, but it isn't until something lightly brushes against my arm that I'm dragged back into reality. My body jerks from whatever touched me, as I yank the covers further up over my chest. Squirming back, I see Stephan, his hair still slightly damp from his shower, his smell wafts over me. His dark eyes are settled onto mine, swirling into lighter shades of black as the light reflects off of them. His eyebrows are slightly creased, a slight flash of concern washes over his face, but this time it doesn't revert back right away. His mouth slightly moves, unsure of what to say, as he settles onto the bed next to me. Instinctively, my body tenses and moves even further back, but I don't move my gaze from him. There's something about seeing him so torn that is giving me some satisfaction. 

Sighing loudly, Stephan starts to roughly swipe his hands through his dark onyx hair again. 

"Baby, I know a lot has happened. Believe me, I know how exhausted you are from all of this. I can tell from the growing bags underneath your eyes, love. I just— I— fuck... Sarah, my love... I don't want to see you like this. Please tell me what I can do babygirl. How can I make you smile again?" Stephan faltered, as his voice slightly cracked from seeing me like this. Instinctively, I respond.

"Just... Just let me go home... I want to go home" I start to cry, "I never wanted this to happen..." I croak out, finally losing my last hold onto any strength left in my body. I know I was planning on gaining his trust and running away, but my mind is so clouded now, and I feel myself growing close to him...

And that terrifies the fuck out of me. That's why I need to figure out a different way out of here. My body is still tightly wrapped around the book, as my tears slowly slide down my puffed cheeks. 

Cautiously raising his hand, Stephan silently and slowly wipes away my tears from my face. His face seems torn, but something in his eyes looks incredibly hurt.

"Baby, I'm sorry but I can't do that. Even if my feelings for you weren't here, I still can't let you leave. It's not safe, love. And God knows what Harris will do to you if he gets you. The number of women that he has brutally killed in my group is—" Stephan growls loudly, "I've had it with him. He's toying me like he did and I can't let him fuck me over any longer..." Stephan pauses, as I see his hands curl up into tight fists, so tight that his knuckles start to turn white. I don't know why, but something about how he talks so brokenly and torn, it makes me feel like there is something more than what he is talking about. Like there's something deep down that haunts him. Whoever this other person that he is talking about... that must be it.

The tears continue to absently fall down my face, falling onto my small pale hands resting on my lap. I knew he would say this, I'm so fucking delusional to think that he would let me go. I'm scared. I want to yell at him and hit him, but my body doesn't want to. This man's eyes. They are breaking me down and making me contradict myself. 

However, if I find a moment where his guard is low, I promise myself that I will not hesitate. I will get out of here, and go somewhere very far away. Maybe I can attempt to make a new life for myself, and leave all of this behind. Keeping that promise tight in my heart, I quickly swipe away my salty tears and sniffle.

"Stephan— Can... Can I at l-least... go outside? I'm going crazy in here" I reasoned, bringing my knees closer to my chest as I feel extremely exposed and manifested. A slight ghost of a smile crosses Stephan's face, as he unclenches his fists.

"You promise not to try anything, baby? As long as you don't get me rallied, I'd love to take you outside, love. Plus, we won't have much time to go out together once everything starts" Stephan softly warned, staring directly into my eyes calmly. 

"I—I promise. I won't try anything, I just want some fresh air" I whispered, his gaze making my heart leap a little.

If I find my moment, I'm going to try. But, maybe some actual air will help calm my mind and relax... and forget about his smell and eyes.