Carnelian Stone

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I remember... the reddish color of that flower which bloomed on the very first day I sent into the hospital. A blood-red color—no, in fact, that was bloods coming out from my mouth as I coughed nonstop.

People say... first times is always scary and get on your nerve, but when you're used to the second,third, and so on... you will think nothing of it. No matter how mesmerizing or terrific that first times are. I guess they are right... with this much hot blood I'm bathing in, I'm not so scared nor nervous anymore. In fact, I feel normal.

These pains... there's no pain actually. It's just my body has become paralyzed and the only thing I feel is the hotness came from my own blood and the coldness came from... ah... I guess that must be my body getting colder from the blood loss.

" ......prepare..... stature... "

" ....-sama! She's....! "

" Bring the..... we need.... "

People in here... are they trying to save me? Hah... how cute. If they... that's right... who's that man's name again?

The man... with... pink haori... and the other... with green haori...

Their name—
.

.

.

" So you finally have decided to use this method, Hasu. "

"... Houtsuki. I know you'll  come in my dream before my death. "

"  No, that's not it. If you are going to die, then I will follow you as well. "

" Well... aren't you doing it right now? "

" No, you've mistaken. This is not a... farewell... instead, this is to welcome you... or might I say, a congratulation ceremony. "

" Ceremony...? What do you— ah. I... understand now... the method I choose to take... it's working. "

"... You are certainly correct. "

"... It's... working... I see... I see... then... what am I supposed to do? "

" Just close your eyes and concentrate. Feel the power seeping through into your vein. "

" I don't think I can't do it in just one try. "

" Of course yes, those powers has always been right inside you after all. You know the feel of it, to the touch, to the smell, to the colors. You know everything about it, try to remember. "

"... R-remember? But I don't know what to remember? "

" It's within you. You know the best of yourself. "

"... I... "

This scene... is similar to how I met Houtsuki for the first time... everything is black except for Houtsuki. He's the only... that seems to be glowing, the only being that have colors besides black. He is beautiful... and glimmering as if a polished diamond itself.

I remember... the first time I met Sousuke-San... everything was white. The only thing had such dark color was Sousuke-San. As if telling my eyes to only look at him.

I want to... have colors as well... I want to... have my own color... so people can identify me as... as myself...

Power... I don't know what to remember... however... i do remember—no, it's not like I've forgotten about it... but I always feel of wanting to... people to recognize me as myself... as the girl, Hasu. This is me. Not a girl from a certain family, not a bed-ridden girl with tragic end, not a girl with certain degree of intelligence...

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