Awakened

One

"She must find a boat and sail in it. No guarantee of shore. Only a conviction that what she wanted could exist, if only she dared to find it." - Jeanette Winterson

I stared down at the black graduation cap resting on my thighs and watched as the golden tassel spun in tiny circles. I should feel different; I mean the morning after graduation night should feel different right? Even though i was homeschooled and my graduation consisted of all the local homeschooled seniors, it should still count. I always thought that after high school was officially over there would be this overwhelming sense of identity that would wash over me. After the sixth grade my parents made the decision to pull me out of  the public school system to make sure I got the best education possible, but that didn't do much for my social life. Glancing down at my phone I see the time, thirty minutes until I must be sitting in the back seat of my dad's car. I toss the graduation cap onto the floor and shuffle to the bathroom. I stand in front of the mirror and examine the girl looking back at me curiously. I wish I had taken my mom up on her offer to get my hair done. The loose brown curls hang just below my shoulders, and I could have used a trim. My eyebrows are still a bit red after excessively tweezing them last night, and I can make out the beginning of a pimple on my chin. 

"Great... anxiety 1, Katherine 0." I mutter under my breath. I settle on throwing my hair into a messy bun. It's not like I have anyone to impress. I step back and allow my upper torso to come into view in the mirror. I'd developed more in certain places. It's curious how much can change on the outside when on the inside you are still the same unsure girl that you have always been. I take in my reflection one last time before pulling a t-shirt over my head. I almost dot a bit of concealer on the bump but decide against it.

"KATHERINE, WHERE ARE YOU?" My mother screams from the kitchen. I don't respond immediately, for some reason I am still zoning out. "KATHERINE IVY WILDER, I WILL NOT BE LATE! GET DOWN HERE!" I groan, but not too loudly. 

"I'm coming mother." I grab what is left of my luggage and make my way down the stairs. "Sorry mom, I don't want to forget anything." She nods, understanding that I constantly stress over every little thing. My dad comes in from outside and throws my bag over his shoulder, 

"I'm sure if you forget anything Michelle would be more than happy to run you to the store. It's only for the summer sweetie, you will be fine." My dad gives me his million-dollar smile, and I can't help but return the favor. After my dad exits to put the last of my things in the car the smile disappears. I am looking forward to spending the summer with my aunt, but l can't help the unease stirring in my belly. 

"Oh Katherine, calm down. You will have a great time with Michelle this summer. I know you aren't keen on stepping out of your comfort zone but it's time to branch out! Plus, you know she is lonely in that big condo all by herself." I muster up a small smile for my mom hoping that it would be enough to get her off my case. My father's only sister Michelle, or Aunt Shelly as I call her, lives in a massive beachfront condo in Florida. She married a wealthy attorney right out of college. She was madly in love, but he just couldn't stop sleeping around. After catching him with her yoga instructor she filed for divorce. He gave her whatever she wanted to keep things quiet, which included the condo.

I continued to zone in and out as my parents discuss their plans for the summer. Once I have been dropped off at my Aunt's house in Florida, they will begin a road trip across the country featuring stops at every National park and major landmark. I knew they had been looking forward to this trip, and I knew that I was glad I didn't have to tag along. My Aunt Shelly offered for me to stay with her, and I agreed without putting much thought into it. I had to find something to do and spending three months on the beach seemed like an okay idea to me. My two best friends were both headed to South America on the same Mission Trip. We met at one of the study group sessions sponsored by our homeschooling program. This is what I really wanted to be doing, but my mother would not have even considered it. I knew that, so Florida it is. As my father merges onto the interstate I stick my headphones in and close my eyes.

I must have dozed off and am jarred awake by the car door slamming. I look up and see we are at a service station, and there are palm trees lining the parking lot. "Are we in Florida?" I ask my mother. 

"Yes, we crossed the state line a while ago. We are not too far from Michelle's condo." I nod and shrink back down into the seat. After my dad fills the tank, we are back on the road. My phone vibrates and I look down, "Getting close? Made Pasta!" I smile at the text from my aunt. "Yeah, I think so. Sounds yummy... thx Shelly." I really am looking forward to spending some time with her, its been so long. I've never been to the condo, but my parents said it's huge. "Of course! See you soon!" I slide the phone back into my pocket.

 "Mom, how much further? Shelly cooked." I see my mother look at the GPS, 

"Mm, looks like another half-hour." I close my eyes again.