Awakened

Thirty-Four

I took a seat next to him on the lounge chair and neither of us spoke for probably 60 seconds. While in reality that was only a moment, it felt like forever.

"Hey." Thomas finally said, breaking the silence.

"Hey." I responded quietly.

I had no clue where to start, but I knew I needed to start speaking actual words to him... They just wouldn't form.

"I've been out here for a while, waiting. I was worried." He spoke first again, but with this admission I knew he'd  seen me get out of his older brother's car.

"I'm sorry, Thomas. I really am. I was planning on leaving with Sam, but-" I tried to explain, but I hated that it sounded like I was making excuses for my behavior. He didn't deserve excuses, he deserved the truth.

"When I first got here I had a few... moments with Beau. Nothing serious, just strange and fleeting moments where we connected. I think in the beginning I knew he was just trying to see how far he could push me, but something changed. I started to develop real feelings for him."

Thomas visibly cringed, and it killed me.

"I knew he didn't feel the same, so I tried to shove the thoughts from my mind. And you- Thomas you were so kind to me. You were everything that I have ever wanted in a guy, and I really did want to make it work between us. When he was gone I thought it could be possible."

"But then he came back." he says flatly, and I nod.

I continued, "When I saw the way it affected him seeing me with you... it stirred up those feelings again. I didn't want them to, I swear. He came to me that night, after you brought me home. Since then I tried, I begged him to back off. I really believe he tried to back off, but he couldn't."

"You do understand he is using you? That this is probably a game for him? I thought you were smarter than this, Katherine." Thomas' words break my heart, both for the hurt he is feeling and the fear that what he is saying could be true.

I shuddered at the thought.

"You could be right, but I hope that you aren't. He's not the same with me. I know you don't want to hear that. I think he is sincere about wanting to try to have something real with me. I will never forgive myself if I don't try... if I don't see where this could go." I try to gauge where his mind is at, but I can't.

His elbows are propped against his knees, and face buried in his palms. He looks exasperated.

"You are making a huge mistake." That is all he said before standing and putting distance between us.

"I don't want to lose you Thomas, you're still important to me. I just- I don't have those feelings for you. Not like-"

He raises a hand to stop me, "Not like my brother, I get it."

I know I've blown it, this didn't go at all like I'd hoped it would. Then, as if on queue to stir it up even more the sliding glass door opens to reveal Beau sporting a very concerned expression.

"Seriously, man? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Thomas is lashing out at his brother, and I am praying that this doesn't take a turn in the wrong direction.

"Look, we didn't plan this. It just happened." Beau shrugs, his voice unnaturally calm.

"You realize how pathetic that sounds right? Nothing just happens, Beau. What are you playing at? Is there a bet or something? Make the new girl fall for you so you can break her heart? Leave me to pick up the pieces when you sail off into the sunset again?" Thomas is spitting nothing but fury, and I can see the anger rising within Beau as he mentions him leaving.