Can't Get Attached; Sam Wilkinson

Chapter Ten - I Bought You

Please don't read if you are easily triggered!

The next morning, I didn't wake in Jack's arms. I woke in his.

"Morning, beautiful."

I started to shuffle away quickly, but he pulled me back to him.

"Where are you going? I didn't get good morning kiss." He growled in my ear, blowing some of the straw hairs.

"I'm getting away from you, that's where."

"Hah, cute. You know you can't resist me. You dream of me at night." he perched himself up on one arm and laid a finger upon my bare stomach.

"You fantasize about me, letting my spread your legs wide and my head falling in between. The scratches down my back when I pound into you. You love it all."

I couldn't deny it. It wasn't just the feeling of his hand dangerously close to my sex. It was the fact that it was all true. I couldn't resist his groans when I went down on him. I loved the way his eyes darkened with lust. He actually turned me on, unlike any of my other clients. I actually wanted him.

"I do love it," I agreed. A smirk spread across his face. He rolled over onto me, kissing the skin under my chin.

"Sam, no." I tried to push him off but it was no use.

"Why are you pushing me away?"

"I don't want this, Sam."

"Yes you do,"

"Sam, stop!" I yelled. He leaned closer to my face, snarling.

"I bought you! Don't you ever tell me no! I pay for you to fuck me. This is your job, you are just a slut. I don't see how many times you'd fuck an old, married man, but won't fuck a hot billionaire. Should I hire you for my dad?" With that he got up, dressed himself and started the car.

He told me ready myself, and meet him in the car.

I didn't want to go with him. He had just broke my walls down, and burned the city to ashes. He just awoke the demons inside. I could only hope and pray that Jack would insist I stay.

When we got back to Sam's, he wouldn't look at me. He didn't acknowledge my presence. I decided then that I would lock myself in my room.

First minutes. Then hours. Days. I sat in my room alone. Not completely alone though, the tantalizing, glass shattering voice in my head that would threaten to break me down.

When no one is there to pick you up, it will.

He doesn't love you.

Why would you ever think so?

You're his hookup.

Try again.

He's not into girls like you.

What are you doing here anyways.

What happened to staying with mom and Jake.

You're supposed to protect him.

You're a fuck up.

I couldn't take the pressure and the pain. Everything. Everything came back to me.

The vomiting, the cutting, the obsession of perfection.

It made me sick. I ran to the bathroom, vomiting what was yesterday's lunch. I didn't know why, but I asked Mason to bring me a bottle of tequila.

Underage drinking was dangerous, but so are my thoughts. Downing half the bottle took of the edge, but the unfiltered thoughts were everywhere.

I don't remember how, but I ended up with Sam. He took the bottle and put me to bed. For that night, the way he looked at me showed love, but the next day he showed nothing.

The hangover hit hard, and the previous night's memories returned. A long cry in a cold shower couldn't do it. Makeup couldn't hide it. Nothing could.

I just wanted to be loved.