Z: The Victim

TATLUMPU'T ISA

It's a big day for me. Magsasalita na ako sa korte. Kinakabahan ako at natatakot. It's my time to say my truth Nakasuot ako ng long sleeve na sweater tapos jeans at sneakers.

Si Yno, nung last time hindi ko inasahang sasabihin niya ang totoo. Hindi ko alam kung ano na ba ang nangyari sa kanya matapos yun. Hindi ko naman kasi siya binibisita sa kulungan. Nasa'kin pa rin kasi yung trauma.

Pero thankful ako sa ginawa niya. Ang laking tulong nun para samin.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto at pumasok sa kotse. Nung nasa loob na kami ng korte, andun na ang mga inaakusahan namin. Wala kaming balak na idawit pa dito si Bogs. Kasi malaki naman ang naitutulong niya samin. Isa pa, yung nagawa niya na pagbebenta ng drugs, hindi niya naman alam na sa'kin pala gagamitin yun. Naiintindihan ko siya sa part na yun.

Nakita ko si Yno, may pasa sa gilid ng labi at sa kaliwang pisngi. Ngumisi pa sa'kin ang apat na kasama ni Yno. It gives me chills.

They made me swear to tell the truth. Pinaupo na ako sa witness stand. Tinanong ako kung ano ba talagang nangyari.

"Pumunta lang naman ako sa birthday party. Uminom ng konti, not knowing na yung pinainom pala sa'kin may drugs. Then nawalan ako ng malay at nagahasa." Sabi ko sa lawyer nila Primo.

"Paano mo mapapatunayan na ginahasa ka nga at hindi malayang nakipag-sexual intercourse sa mga kliyente ko?" Tanong sa'kin nung lawyer. That question makes my blood boil, especially because she is a woman too. It's not much if a man blames me for being raped but a woman? It hurts more.

"Matino akong babae, pumaparty lang ako pero matino ako. ‘Yang limang lalaki na yan, binaboy nila ang pagkababae ko, niyurakan yung dignidad ko!" Sagot ko dun sa lawyer. Wala akong pake kung gaano kagrabeng pag-aaral ang ginawa niya sa law school, wala siyang karapatan na pagmukhain akong napakababang babae.

"Hindi mo ba gusto ang mga lalaking yan? Kasi they're all undeniably handsome, in line with your lifestyle too. Hindi naman imposible na magkagusto ka sa iba kahit may boyfriend ka by the time you said that you were allegedly raped diba?" Sabi pa nito sa'kin. Kung may mahahawakan lang akong kahit ano at pwedeng ibato sa lawyer na 'to ginawa ko na.

"Matino ako, hindi ko kasalanan kung talagang malilibog ang mga yan at di nila napigilan ang sarili nila! I was drugged kaya hindi ako nakapalag! I almost died the second time around that they raped me, hinabol ako ng lecheng Drake na yan a month after they first raped me!" Hindi ko na napigilang sumigaw sa lawyer na 'to. Naiyak na rin ako ulit.

"No further questions, your Honor." Sabi nung lawyer nila Primo. Lumapit naman sa'kin ang lawyer namin.
"When you were first raped, what were you wearing?" Tanong naman sa'kin nung lawyer ko. Pinunasan ko muna ang pisngi ko.
"A black dress, above the knee and a stiletto." Sagot ko.
"This is irrelevant, your Honor." Sabi pa nung lawyer nila Primo sa judge.
"It will be relevant if the defense would just let me finish, your Honor." Sagot naman ng lawyer ko.
"Overruled," sabi nung judge at nagpatuloy yung lawyer namin sa pagtatanong sa'kin.

"E nung pangalawang beses?" Tanong niya pa.
"T-shirt, pants, and sneakers." Sagot ko naman. Then she said she had no further questions. Binigyan ng time ng judge ang bawat partido na maghanda para sa closing statements at saka nag-resume ulit yung hearing.

Pinaunang magsalita ang lawyer nila Primo. May bago na ring lawyer si Yno.

"Rape is defined as sexual coercion and as the defendants stated, the sexual intercouse that happened to all four of them and the plaintiff is consented. Also, that the plaintiff was not drugged but she herself put drug in her system since they attended a party. It was clearly stated that the plaintiff sent signals to the defendants which led them to believe of it as an invitation for intimacy or sexual intercourse. The fact that Ms. Saavedra did not report the first time that she was allegedly raped, who are we to believe her claims were real the first time?" Sabi ng lawyer nila Primo, Edmund, Gambi at Drake.

Sunod namang nagsalita ang bagong lawyer ni Yno.
"My client told the truth about what happened on the two nights of the alleged rape of Ms. Saavedra. Surely, he has forced himself to the plaintiff the first time but he did protect her the second time around. He even switched lawyers to avoid being tossed into jail because the other defendants planned to pin everything to him. And as you can see, your Honor, my client received a beating from the other defendants too. That is enough reason for him to not be treated as such with the other defendants." He said at saka na tumayo ang lawyer ko.

"My client's testimony, your Honor, shows that no matter what a woman wears, kapag may rapist may mare-rape. A woman never wants to be raped. My client did not give any motive, whatever she wears does not equate as to her saying “yes” to the defensants. They have also claimed that she had sexual intercouse with different men despite being in a long-time relationship. Sexual consent is the actual saying of “yes” before intercourse. Even a nod sometimes is not saying “yes” to your partner.

My client has actual proof of the rape on the exam she had undergone in the hospital while whatever the defendants say were just plain words and no one from outside their circle can corroborate their claims. It is not right to tarnish a woman more after she has been violated by five men, one of them being her friend. We even see the change it has made on my client. From wearing a dress, she needed to adjust to a shirt and jeans but still, she was raped. Rape is never about the clothes but about the men who think that forcing themselves and coercing a woman to have intercourse is in no way wrong." Sabi ng lawyer ko at umupo na siya. Binalikan na naman ako nung lawyer nila Primo.

Then the judge said that she needs time to think of the verdict. Ipapatawag na lang raw ulit kami kapag may verdict na.