My Dark Beast

CHAPTER THIRTY SIX: ELEVEN

"I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that pain Xan, and I'm sorry for not finding you earlier." I said to him while trying to swallow back my tears. His eyes were glistening with pain of losing his beautiful and loving parents but they also mirrored the love he had for me.

"It's not your fault my love, it's solely mine." He said while stroking my hair. I gave him a puzzled look.

"I didn't want to find my mate at that time and I avoided the Mating Balls held for finding mate." I was hurt by his words and revelations. And now that I come to think of it, he was actually right. I never got to meet him because he deliberately avoided it.

"So if I had skipped the meeting of all the Alphas, I wouldn't have found you ever." I could hear my heart break into countless pieces. My life would never have been completed if it weren't for Xander barging and throwing that pathetic Wolf away during the Alpha meeting. Fresh set of tears started to brim in my eyes and Xander wiped them away with a soft kiss.

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. I avoided those Mating Balls because I couldn't bear the thought of finding my mate and losing her. The trauma of losing my parents was enough of a prove that another loss couldn't keep me alive." He gulped harshly and clenched his teeth.

"I can understand where you are coming from Xan, but I've been so miserable these last two years thinking I don't even have a mate. And  you won't ever lose me. Ever."

"I have been without for more than seven years my love. Believe me I really did search for you and attended those balls hoping and wishing I'd find you. I went for almost four years and I was about to go to fifth time as well. But I couldn't." I growled out those last words. His eyes started to turn pitch black with anger and defiance. I can see the storm starting to brew in his dark eyes.

I placed my hand on his chest just above where his heart lay and rubbed it ever so slightly in hopes of calming him down. I felt his wolf was on surface and I got the hint that whatever he was about to tell took a major toll on him.

"I found a few female dead bodies on my pack grounds just a day before the Mating Ball was held." He sneered and I could feel the vibrations coming off of him due to anger, pain and so many more emotions. However I didn't ignore what came out of his mouth. Dead bodies. Few female dead bodies.

"Wh-who killed them? H-how many?" I wanted to know just exactly how many females lost their lives and why? Hundreds of questions started to swarm my mind and I didn't understand where this conversation was headed to.

"Eleven. Eleven innocent females lost their lives that day and they were murdered so brutally that the only way of identification was their scent. And even their scent was almost all masked with wolfsbane to cover it. I still remember seeing all those lifeless bodies laying in a massive pool of blood. I can still feel that stench burning in my throat." He closed his eyes while his hands fisted on his hands. He was controlling his wolf to back down as he tried to calm down his ragged breaths.

I was now sobbing seeing the condition of my mate, and how he must of felt during that time. I was feeling the pain he was in right now while he was saying all those things happened to him through our mate bond.

"You don't have to say anything more Xan. I can't see you like this." I hugged him and I felt him tightening his arms around me.

"I'm so sorry baby. I didn't mean to hurt you but I've to let it all out. Last decade has been completely dark and twisted and fucked up that I had nowhere to go. No exit. Nothing. But not anymore. I have you now by my side. And I won't let her take you away from me." He said while kissing the side of my head.

"Her?"

"Who's she? Why would she want to separate us?" I asked him while looking into his eyes searching for answers.

"She was the one who murdered all those poor unmated females. So harshly and brutally that not even a single part of the body was joined together. I can still see that picture in my head with all those battered body parts laying around." He growled out.

A shiver passed down my spine when I heard what he said. How can someone be so cruel and murder innocent girls.

"Why? Why would she do that to some innocent women?" I cried out. The anger seeping into me like hot lava. Gone was the hurt and pain I felt earlier. It was starting to get replaced with anger.

"So that I should stop searching for my mate. For you. She sent me message that among those females was my mate. And that was when all Hell broke loose. My wolf completely took over and I destroyed everything that came in my way. I went berserk thinking I lost you. Nathan tried helping me and reaching me out. But to no avail did I listen to him.

In fact I still remember that I clawed him very hard on his stomach, a chunk of his fur came out along with flesh and blood. And even after that I felt nothing compared to the feeling that I lost my mate.

I left him bleeding there and went into the  woods. No matter how many times I apologise to him I still can't ease of this guilt off of my chest." I could see shame and guilt in his eyes when he said what he did to Nathan.

"You don't have to feel bad for it Xan. It wasn't you who hurt him. You went berserk. You couldn't have done anything. Please, don't feel bad for yourself. I can't see you like this." I didn't know what to feel. Sorry for Nathan or the pure love Xander had for me even before we met or the pain he had to go through thinking I was dead. It was an emotional rollercoaster for me.

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Luna

14-05-2019