Open Mind

chapter twenty nine

James POV

I looked at the waterfall and signed, Kamaria came and sat close to me, I looked at her and how my jacket enveloped her small frame,
" this place it's so...." She was trying to use words to describe what was in front of her and trust me this was the same reaction I had.
" impeccable. here I found peace, when no one understood me I always came here, when I was ashamed to express my feelings in front of someone I come here to cry my eyes out here. This was the place I've always been myself till my mother died of brain cancer, I became depressed, the want that I had to even come here left me, it reminded me of my mother, she was my everything, my strength, she was always there for me even when I found out about my ex cheating on me with that fucker" she stared at me and frowned and said,
"Who?" I shook my head removing those memories from my mind,
" his name is Luca he was my best friend from childhood, since when that incident happened I've always hated him and will always do so. He was working with my father in the company a few months ago, then I found out he was stealing money from the company, I don't really understand why he did all does things to me and my father" I said, she had a sad face but not the one of pity but the one of understatement, she's one who understands really well.
"So how do you know this Luca?" I frowned and said,
"When me and my family went on a vacation to Italy,my father reunited with one of his childhood friend too, funny that they were best friends and still are, we became friends and inseparable, my father and his friend planed on doing business together and they did, I was a very happy kid, they relocated here, he was my only friend, we went to all our schools together till that incident happened, his father was very ashamed of him and returned back to Italy with his wife then my dad gave Luca the position the father owned in the company till I fired him, I was very happy he left the company because I would have killed him the moment he enters my office ever again when I become the CEO".
Kamaria looked a bit angry, then she raised a brow, I looked at her and said,
"What?" She looked at me then gave me a light smile,
" Nothing just thinking of something you said, but nothing to worry about keep going your doing great I'm all ears" she placed her arm around my shoulders and rested her head on my shoulder, I sighed and continued,
"I never trusted anyone in my life anymore with all that was going on I started drinking a lot, I almost fought all the times I went to drink and I slept around, my father dreaded me for that but I couldn't care less I had no one who understood me, I promise to never have a relationship or trust anyone but then again the world proved me wrong, I came across Jude and Mark in the bar where I always go to drink, I don't even know till now how the took me home, cleaned me and stayed till morning when I was awake, they basically helped a stranger, the might seem all bad ass but the have the greatest heart, they told me they knew me from one of the classes I take, Jude said he was always on the front desk but then saw how I basically push everyone away, the hatred I had for everyone who crossed my path and decided to help because I needed friends" I laughed at the memories,
"When we became friends I never changed my ways, I always brought girls to my house, went to that same bar to have a drink, all that ended when I forgot that there were at my house waiting for me and there the saw me making out on the front door with a girl, they were livid, the drove the girl away called a cab for her, I stood there angry that they were controlling my life, I kept shouting at Jude asking him why does he like to control my life, Mark was trying to calm me down till he got angry too then punched the shit out of me, I was shocked at first, I wanted to fight back but Jude stopped that by punching me, he dragged me and sat me down in the living room and they stood in front of me glaring at me as I held my bleeding nose, they told me how I should wake up and face my demons and the reality, I should stand up and fight them instead of giving then access to destroy my own life, they told me how they were never living my side till I man up and come to terms with my life, I cried in front of them, it was a lot to take in, to see people you barely knew care about you, I still don't know the reason and I don't want to know it, God placed then in my life and I'm good with that I'm not going to question the reason. They are the only people I trusted in my life, I stopped drinking a lot and bringing girls to my house, but I still push people away from me I don't want to waste my time on other people that will want me for my money" she raised her head from my shoulder and stared at me intently and said,
"And why didn't you push me away?", I looked at her in the eyes and said,
" I don't really know, it's just that there is something about you that gets all my attention, the first time I saw you, I knew you were going to be different from others, the way you even talked to me kept me in awe you showed me how strong and independent you are, I know that your that kind of person that does things the way they want not the way people wants, no one in this school or out talk to me with an attitude even though they knew me or not. The second time I saw you was so different, you we weak and fragile, you were in a situation that you couldn't control and that broke you, I wanted to be the one who helps you out of your misery, it might sound selfish but I don't care, I wanted to take care of you, to protect you" I shook my head and laughed,
" I guess Jude and Mark gave me a reason in this life and impacted so much good in me, that's why I took you to my house and took care of you just like strangers did with me" she saw looking at the floor with eyes closed, I put her more close to me, she looked up with sadness but had a smile on,
" you don't have to hide your emotions Kamaria, not with me" she nodded then covered her face with the palms of her hands, I could hear the soft and silent sobs, she stopped the wiped her tears then said,
" my life it's so funny to me, when I needed help it never came now that I wanted none it came to me" she shook her head still wiping her tears away,
" what... What happened to you Kamaria?" I asked her hoping not to make her cry anymore,
" things that I wished never happened to me and to anyone" she said frowning. She got up and sat in front of me, she had determination in her eyes and I knew she was ready to tell me,
" first of all, can you tell me about your nightmares?" I asked and she nodded,
" I started having does nightmares since when I left my moms house and went to live with my grandma, I was born and lived in Italy. Does nightmares I have it's about a man that my mom married, I never knew my father till I decided to look for him, I saw him and he rejected me the way he did when my mom told him she was pregnant of me, I really never had that relationship that a mother and a daughter would have, she never showed me affectation, she hid her emotions in front of me, I was a sensible kid, no one understood me except my grandma, she was a blessing to me.
My mom married John when I was 3 years old, I always thought he was a good, kind and loving man, it looked like he really loved my mom till I became older, he always bought me whatever I liked, he always did, I noticed him sometimes staring at me strangely, like he wanted something from me but he couldn't get it cause my mom was always around me somewhere, I thought it was something normal. It was my birthday, I was celebrating my tenth birthday, it was the biggest celebration I ever had and of course it was him who had the money to do that, my mom decided to leave the house with her friends to have dinner with them after the party, she always did that and It was ok for me till that very day, even though my mom tried to hide her emotions I always saw it, I knew she loved me deep down and I needed her that day. I was in my room admiring all my birthday gifts when he came to my room, he just stood there staring at me, he was smiling but it was never the one he always showed me, this one was different.