Do it or...not do it.
Decisions, decisions.
If I do it, it'll mean that I completely gave up and that I'm a weak person.
Had I ever been strong ?
Physically, yes !
But mentally...It's another story. A totally different one.
I'm just a human being and a human can't fight forever. It comes a time when he or she can't anymore. It comes a time when it's too hard. It comes a time when it's not even important to survive.
I did everything I could. But I'm just a human being. I'm just Justin. Nothing more, nothing less. What can I do now ? There is only one solution.
Am I ready though ?
It's not a thing to take lightly. It's the decision of my life. The last one to be honest. If I do it, I'll not be able to go back in the past to delete this. I won't come back. Never.
Am I determined ?
I don't know. But I'm scared. I had never done it before. It had never crossed my mind before actually. I was always wondering how people can do this though. It's...I can't even find a word to describe it. I had always been against it. It's not the solution ! But what else I can do ?
I'm not happy. At all. I cried all the tears of my soul. My heart is hurt. My body is tired. Emotionally, mentally and physically, I can't anymore. No strength. No will. Nothing. It got me. Life got me.
Am I crazy ?
Maybe. I don't know. How do you know when you got crazy ? I don't know. But I'm not stable. My brain is not what it used to be once. My nerves exploded. Well, it feels like it. I can't think straight anymore.
C'mon ! You can do it Justin !
“Life is for living.
Death is for the dead.
Let life be like music.
And death a not unsaid.“
-Langston Hughes.
“If you gave someone your heart and they died,
did they take it with them ?
Did you spend the rest of forever with a hole inside you that coudln't be filled ? “
-Jodi Picoult
“I do not fear the death.
I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.“
-Mark Twain
“To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them ?
To die: to sleep;
No more;
and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to,
'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd.
To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin ?
Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns,
puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of ?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.
--Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia !
Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd ! “
-William Shakespeare
C'mon Justin ! After all, Death is just another adventure...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Let me know what you think about this chapter =)
Thanks for still reading !
Sorry for the mistakes.
YOU ARE READING
ROLEX ( A Justin Dior Combs Story )
FanfictionLife. We don't all have the same life, but everybody does know how difficult it could be. Sometimes, you have to do something you don't want to do in the first place; and if you don't do it, something bad could happen. Not only to you, but to peopl...
