She Wouldn't Say Goodbye. (Guns N' Roses)

Chapter Forty

"I don't know why you waited to tell me this now, Izzy?" I said, trying to keep my voice quiet but I was still shocked, Izzy walked around the clothing rack looking at a multitude of colored button down shirts. "I didn't want you to be upset, I thought I could handle it." He admitted, not making eye contact. "Izzy, we have nowhere else to go, you should have told me! Now we'll be homeless." I whispered angerly at him, worried about what might happen to us. I thought everything was going great, I actually thought everything was the best it had been yet until just minutes ago Izzy dropped the news that because of noise problems and being late on rent we were getting evicted, with only five days to vacate the property.

"I'm sorry, okay, I didn't think the landlord was serious!" I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "How is someone not serious about giving an eviction notice?" Izzy shrugged, everything silent other than some annoying radio hit playing over the stores speakers. "The band decided we could stay in the rehearsal space though," Izzy spoke quietly, barely audible to me. I thought about his words as I heard them, the simple sentence processing in my head. The rehearsal space was nothing more than a storage unit, behind the Guitar center. "Izzy, you're joking, right? No one can live in a storage unit." "Well, we have no other options and everyone in the band decided it would be okay temporarily." I looked at Izzy unsure of the situation, there was no way we could all survive living like that. Izzy looked over at me, his brown eyes soft and caring, telling me a lot of things his words never could. I knew this look meant to trust him, so I dropped the issue and put the problem in the back of my mind. I continued to look around the shop, finding a few tops and some jewelry, half of which Izzy wanted to share with me. I laughed but didn't protest, I'm sure he'd look better in them then I would. We walked out of the store and back onto the busy sidewalk, the sun warm as it beat down on my skin.

"Are you ready to go home?" I questioned, locating the bus stop from where we stood. Izzy scratched his forearm, his eyes worried as they shot around in his head, they went wide as they landed on something in the distance. "I'll be -uh, right back, just wait like- right there." He said, jogging across the street to a gas station, having to satisfy my own curiosity I ran after him, nearly getting plowed by a red Mercedes in the process. Izzy yanked open the door to the Men's bathroom, that was situated on the outside of the fuel station, and just as he went to close it behind him I stuck my foot in the door. Out of breath, I pushed my way in behind him. "What are you doing, I told you to wait out there?" Izzy questioned, his hands buried in the pockets of his black trousers. "I know what you're coming in here to do, Iz, I'm not stupid. I'm not letting you go down this road alone." I told him, my eyes meeting his for a moment. He put his head down, pulling his hands from the pockets of his pants, a needle, some heroin and a spoon in his palms.

In one swift motion, I unclasped the belt that rested around my waist and pulled it off with one hand, holding it out between us. Izzy's mouth opened as if he were about to speak, but he quickly closed it, before sitting down on the edge of the toilet. "Yes, I want some too, If that's what you were going to ask," I said, kneeling down on the floor right at his feet. "How do you do that?" He laughed, shaking his head as he cooked the heroin up. "Do what?" "Read my mind, you always know what I'm going to say before I even open my mouth." I shrugged, "I've known you forever, I pretty much can read your mind. You do the same with me, you know?" He smiled absentmindedly, filing up the syringe in his hand full of brown liquid. "You wanna go first?" He questioned, putting his bag of smack back in his pocket. "You can go first, I'll take whatever's left." He nodded, "Can you hand me the belt?" I stood up slightly, taking the red leather belt and putting it around his left arm, tightening it as much as I could. Izzy held his arm in front of him, pressing around on it for a few seconds, before trying to put the needle in his veins. He wasn't very successful in the first few tries, letting out a shaky breath. "Here let me," I spoke, holding my hand out for the needle. Izzy looked reluctant, before dropping it in my palm. He grabbed the belt from my hand, holding it tightly, while I crouched on my knees in front of him, scanning his arm for a good vein. After Izzy had missed a few times, he had caused a long trickle of blood to run down his pale arm, the contrast striking even in the dim bathroom. I sunk the syringe into his arm, after seeing a bright greenish vein near the bend, I had finally hit it. I unloaded a little more than half the syringe into his arm, knowing Izzy's dose was pretty high nowadays. He released the belt, as I pulled the needle out, Izzy's head rolled back a low moan escaping his lips. He brought his eyes back to me after a few seconds, taking the needle back and motioning me to stick my arm out. I quickly threw the belt around it, tightening it as I stuck my arm in front of Iz. It didn't seem like he was having much more luck finding a vein on me, then on him. My veins have always been small and bouncy even before I did heroin. "I guess, I'm just gonna have to stick it in your neck." He laughed, mockingly taking the needle and stabbing at the air. I rolled my eyes and laughed, feeling something bubble inside me that was familiar but also strange. My cheeks felt hot and I knew I was probably blushing, it was like a light had switched on in my brain. Izzy pressed the syringe down on my arm again, and suddenly everything felt like it was happening very fast. He hit a vein almost instantly, sending the heroin shooting through my body. He smiled, numb to the world and it felt like I was seeing his toothy grin for the first time, his dark eyes were half shut but still rested on my face. The air between us felt thick and different, I didn't feel like I was sitting in front of my childhood friend, Jeff, I felt like I was sitting with Izzy, the grown man that was too mysterious and handsome for his own good and I found myself wishing I had the courage to kiss him. Something I had undoubtedly dealt with in the past, but never like this, not this strong. He capped the used needle putting everything back in his pockets, before licking his lips. "Kiss me." I croaked, not taking my eyes off Izzy's face, his eyes rolled lazily toward me. "Huh?" I cleared my throat, "I said Kiss me." Izzy's face showed no emotion, no surprise, no anger, nothing. Regardless, Izzy moved closer to me, I moved in between his legs and leaned up as his lips were centimeters from mine. He closed the small gap between us, our lips melting together. His right hand coming up and tangling in my hair. Izzy deepened the kiss, his tongue fighting its way into my mouth, a moan strangling itself in my throat. I rested both my hands on his knees, feeling complete euphoria wether from the large dose of Smack or from Izzy I couldn't be sure. Even though I knew the situation was wrong in so many ways, something inside of me just didn't care as his mouth moved against mine. We both pulled back for air, our lips wet and swollen. My mind racing with a million different thoughts. We both were silent, it didn't seem like there was anything we could or should say. Izzy cleared his throat, his hand slowly dropping from my hair. "You're a good kisser." Izzy laughed, a smile on his slender face. "You are too." I replied, pulling myself up from the floor. "Why did you want me to kiss you?" He questioned, standing up as well. I looked at the floor, not expecting him to ask me that, I shrugged, "I don't know, something just came over me." Izzy walked to the door before unlocking and opening it, a long stream of sunlight bursting in. "Well, I hope it comes over you more often." He spoke, before walking out of the dim bathroom, the grey door slowly swinging shut behind him. My lips curling into a smile, before I quickly followed him back outside.