She Wouldn't Say Goodbye. (Guns N' Roses)

Five.

-Three and a half months later-

The little dirty mirror was hung crooked in the small cramped restroom, the water splashed everywhere turned on high. It was a little cold, and tasted metallic and shitty. Sometimes I didn't quite recognize the person in the mirror, sometimes I did, for a brief second or two. But when you see your reflection in a grimed up gas station bathroom mirror are you really looking at your own reflection at all? My nose burned just a little from the two lines of coke I had done days ago, I was just me wanting more. Drugs wern't necessarily my thing, but they weren't not my thing either. There were little smokey grey rings around my eyes from day old eye liner, I looked pretty fucking bad, compared to what I usually looked like. I tucked my hair behind my ears and tried to wipe off some of the excess black from underneath my eyes. Before tugging at the top of my bell bottom jeans down around my ankles, I didn't bother with panties anymore, they smelled awful and I didn't often get a way to wash them and sat on the toilet seat, relieving myself before I had to leave again to go meet up with Bill and figure out what they hell we'd be doing for the rest of the day. We spent everyday together pretty much, nothing else had been said about our feelings for each other, despite the tension hanging in the air. He was on and off with Gina and about three other girls around the LA area. I was grateful for it though, he'd fuck the girls or whatever he did, and call me once they fell asleep, then Bill and I would sleep on the couch together until morning, take some food and leave. It was a pretty good system. There was a loud, heavy knock on the door. I scrambled up, washing my hands in haste, managing to remember my bag I had left hanging next to the sink on the way out. There standing outside the door I passed a few women waiting there turn for the restroom, they looked my up and down like I was trash. It was usual for me to come here, clean up and grab a slushie or something on the way out. There were a few small drink coolers, behind the slushie area and I could sware I recognized the black headed man standing there looking at bottled teas. I went back to doing my thing, trying to toss around in my mind, where I knew this person from. After aquiring my drink, I silently started following this person around, messing with random things, to make it look like I was otherwise occupied. While my eyes scanned the young man over and over, thats when it clicked. It was Jeff Isbell. He walked past me, looking down at his shoes. "Jeff!" He turned around looking for whoever said his name, the second or third time his eyes glanced the store he looked at me. It took him just a few seconds to realize who he was seeing. "Kat, what are you doing here?" He asked generally curious and excited all the same, well as excited as Jeff could sound. We embraced in a tight hug, his bones poked at my skin, we both looked like starving dogs.  "I moved out here a couple months ago." "No way, Bill actually let you leave." Jeff laughed at his own comment. "He came with, it was his idea actually." I told him, he shook his head his greasy, black hair shaking around his slender face. "Where is he?" "He was living on and off with Gina, she came along as well. He's been back an' forth from Indiana about four or five times, I never know if he's stayin' for good or not." I told him. "Is he in California now?" "Yeah, I'm actually going to meet up with him, do you want to come?" Jeff shrugged, "Yeah, for sure." I grabbed my drink and snuck out of the little place with Jeff in tow, we started off down the street to the place were Bill told me to meet him. "So, how have you been, livin' here all alone?" Jeff pulled out a pack of smokes, holding the pack out to me, after grabbing his own. I gladly accepted. "It's been cool, I've played in'a few bands, some of it's been a bad scene. I'm real clanked, haven't slept in days." He puffed on his smoke. "I'm sure it's been a gas." "Well on and off." He laughed, nudged into me slightly as we walked side by side. "How's Bill?" I nodded, "He's all right, skinny as a stray. He's in a band here." Jeff looked surprised- "He actually sings for somebody other then you an' me?" "Sure does, they've got a few songs written even." "Cool." We strolled in silence for a little while, before Jeff broke the quite-ness between us. "Where've you been sleeping?" I took a long sip of my slushie, before replying- "Here and there, sometimes with Bill if he crashes with somebody we'll share the couch. It just depends." Jeff nodded, "My place is pretty shitty but you two can come stay with me." "That's really nice of you Jeff, I wouldn't want to cramp your space any though?" He gave me a funny look. "You couldn't, it would be nice. Like old times when we used to hang." "I can't say no to that." Jeff puffed on his cigarette one last time before throwing the coffin nail down. I decided it was too far of a walk, so we hitched a ride for a few minutes towards another side of the city. Just about a block from Bill's ''practice space'' were Rapidfire hung out. Every once and a while they'd write tunes, but mainly they hung out and smoked pot. Nobody was out on the street so I assumed they were all inside working on something. "Can we go a head and go in?" Jeff asked trailing along behind me. "Yeah, we sure can." I pushed on the little side door, it was midway down an alley. It didn't half shut half the time. Bill was perched on the arm on an old sofa, cigarette planted between his long, bony fingers. "Kitty Kat, your here, hey." He hoped down and before making it a quarter ways across they small room, he saw Jeff behind me, peeking his head into the dank room. "Bill, hey Man!" Jeff slid his body from behind me and walked to his old pal. "Jeff, long time no see." Bill threw his arms around Jeff, playing it cool like he hadn't been looking for his friend hopelessly for two months. "Glad to see you." Jeff smiled, pulling out from his friends grasp. Bill's new band mates sat around on the floor, smoking trees "What's been going on?" Bill questioned Jeff. "Nothing really, I've been playing in a few bands, living in some fusty, gross ol' apartment in Hollywood." "Wow, you're doing pretty good for yourself than." Jeff laughed, "Not really, Kat told me briefly what had been going on with you two." Bill just nodded, no response. "Do you wanna meet my band?" Bill asked, changing the subject. I sat down on the ratty old sofa, drinking my slush. "Sure, Man." "This is Kevin, he plays guitar. Mike plays bass and Chuck plays drums." "Hi, nice to meet you." Chuck waved his hand at Jeff. "Nice to meet you too." Jeff nodded at the young men. Bill's eyes scanned me, nervously tearing at the frayed pockets of his tight jeans. I couldn't help but smile happily back at the strawberry blond. "Why don't we go out tonight and catch up?" Bill questioned, rocking on the heels of his cowboy boots. "Sounds like a great idea." Jeff agreed. Kevin stood up, "You guys don't have to stay here. I know you'll want to catch up with your friend, Bill." "Sure, um- Do you wanna go ahead?" Bill asked, looking from Me to Jeff. "Sounds fine to me." I stood from the sofa, trotting to the door, to lean against the frame. Bill looked over at the wall clock, checking the time. "See you guys tomorrow or something'." Kevin waved his hand at us. "Have fun." I pulled the door open, as Jeff and Bill walked out into the street. "Where are we going?" I questioned, following the two, before chugging the half empty slushie cup into a near by dumpster. "I could show you guys my place?" Jeff suggested, coming to a stop on the sidewalk. Bill looked at me, "Sure. Where did you say you lived?" "Hollywood." "Let's go then." Bill confirms, he starts walking across the busy street, a few car blowing at him for not paying attention. "Bill we have to go back this way!" I yell to him, he turns around and holds up a pair of car keys with a smirk on his face. "You asshole, you could've picked me up!" He pays no attention to my comment and hops in a beat up, old Ford. Jeff and I follow him across the street. "I call shotgun." Jeff rolls his eyes at my childlike nature. We take our respective seats in the vehicle. "When did you get a car, Bill?" Was the first thing I asked. He looked at me smile on his lips. "I got it from a guy I know, got'a real good deal on it. It's a piece of shit, but it's transportation, Five hundred and it's payed for." "Wow, that is pretty good. Will you have the title to it?" He nodded his head 'yes'. It really was a piece of shit, but he was right it's transportation. For the lack of conversation going on, I turned the radio up just in time to here Rolling Stones 'Beast of Burden' playing on one of the stations. "I'll never be your beast of burden. My back is broad but it's a hurting, All I want is for you to make love to me." I turned the dial up, "Oh, Man. I love this song." "You love all of their songs." Bill spoke, looking at me with his special iris'. "I'll never be your beast of burden. I've walked for miles my feet are hurting, All I want is for you to make love to me." His Strawberry hair glowing in the soft California sunshine, his thick pinks lips parted slightly. "Am I hard enough, Am I rough enough, Am I rich enough? I'm not too blind to see, I'll never be your beast of burden. So let's go home and draw the curtains. Music on the radio, Come on baby make sweet love to me." The light noises of the cars fenders flapping, bearly heard above the tunes of one of my favorite bands. ."Am I hard enough, Am I rough enough, Am I rich enough? I'm not too blind to see. Oh little sister." Our best friend sitting in the back, listening intently to chatter and the song. "Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, girl, You're a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty girl. Pretty, pretty. Such a pretty, pretty, pretty girl. Come on baby please, please, please."  For a single moment in time in this sad little world of mine, I forgot about our showing bones from goin' hungry one to many nights, or my cold hands, or my achey back. "I'll tell ya. You can put me out, on the street. Put me out, with no shoes on my feet. But, put me out, put me out, put me out of misery. Yeah, all your sickness, I can suck it up. Throw it all at me, I can shrug it off. There's one thing baby, that I don't understand, you keep on telling me, I ain't your kind of man." I know that Bill and Jeff probably felt the same as I, and that made me feel good or shitty and I couldn't decide which, just yet. But I was in love, with the city, with the lights, with the drugs and the thick smog just hanging in the California air. And I knew above all else I was in love with my childhood friend, the person that knew me best, he knew all my secrets, all my lies and heartache. "Ain't I rough enough, ooh baby. Ain't I tough enough. Ain't I rich enough, in love enough. Ooh! Ooh! Please." I'll never be your beast of burden. I'll never be your beast of burden, never, never, never, never, never, never, never be. I'll never be your beast of burden, I've walked for miles and my feet are hurting, All I want is you to make love to me. I don't need beast of burden, I need no fussing, I need no nursing. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be." I think for once in my life I was finally happy.