HIDE || Park Junhee [ A.C.E ] ✓

truth

LEE DAHYE

It's been months since I've seen Jun. I want to forget him. I want to move on but it's too hard. My world is becoming darker each day. Tears roll down my cheek each night knowing that my sunshine is slowly moving further from me. I wonder if he forgotten me. His question always echoes in my head.

"Don't you like me, Dahye?"

Big part of myself is hurt and wounded because of him but a tiny bit more was still keeping the hope that he would come to me once again. I want to hear the words coming from his mouth again.

Most importantly I want to see him. I miss his wide smile. I miss his charming and gentle voice that I want to hear my name in it. I want to run my fingers through his hair, caress it and swipe his bangs to see his face clearly. The face that I can stare all day all my life. I wish I can do all that. If only I can lower my ego for him and say sorry even though he had hurt me as much or if only we both can face each other and put down our walls. If only.

I miss you Jun.. I'm sorry for everything..

...

My phone suddenly vibrates interrupting my endless thought about everything that has happened. Turns out it was text from my brother, Donghun.

I'm at the nearby playground at your house. Come out now.

What? Okay 5 minutes.

I am surprised knowing Donghun wants to meet me all of sudden. We just met earlier during lunch so why would he meet me again?

I wear my baby blue hoodie before going out since it was chilly outside. After few minutes of walk, I saw Donghun sitting on a swing waiting for me. He points at another swing beside him to make me sit there.

So.. is there anything you want to say?

Dahye, I'm-

He lets out a big sigh and take a breath before talking again.

I want to say sorry for not being a good brother for you.

What do you mean Donghun? You're the best brother ever for me

No Dahye. You won't say that after hearing what I want to say.

Donghun.. what are you talking about?

Dahye..

Donghun says my name while looking at my eyes apologetically. I can sense right away that he is going to say something that makes him regret the most. I give him some time to let out what's inside him.

Dahye.. the truth is Jun never said anything awful about you. I made up all of it. ALL. He is fully in love with you. I just wanted to separate both of you that's why I- did that.

The words that coming out from his mouth were like an arrow struck my body. Not one but feels like hundreds of arrows strucking me at once. The pain was unbearable. I wish I was dreaming right now so when I wake up the pain was gone so I close my eyes and open it again and Donghun was still in front of me. This isn't a dream.

Donghun you did those things? But- but he's your best friend.. and I'm your sister. How could you ruin everything?

Dahye, I'm so sorry. I'm a dumbass. Believe me, I'm willing to do anything to turn back time and avoid doing all that! I'm so stupid..

Thank goodness you know it well Donghun. You're an idiot! I don't think I can forgive you in the nearest time. Be grateful that you're my one and only brother so by all means, I have to end up forgive you!

Dahye..

Don't show yourself to me for now, Donghun. What you did is too much. Go away! Disappear from my sight!

For the first time ever I shout at the top of my lungs to Donghun. I've never been so rude to him before as he is the person that I love and look up to. However I can't contain myself anymore. I stand up but my legs feel so weak. I try to forcefully make some step to walk away from Donghun but eventually I fall to the ground. I can't see anything clearly. Both of my eyes are full of tears that fall along with me to the ground.

I love him you idiot! I miss h-him..

I confess my true feeling to him while sobbing. Donghun hug me and cover my crying face. I cry my heart out that night. I hate my brother but I love him at the same time. He was always there for me. I can never expect that Donghun who is the hero of my life became the one who breaks my happiness that is about to bloom.

After saying those mean words to him.. how can I face him? Arghh you're so dumb Dahye. You shouldn't say that to him..

The feeling of guilt starts to haunt me badly. I'm clueless of what to do.

Nature Saebom (Lee Dahye)