You // Quinx Squad x Reader (oneshots, shenanigans and scenarios)

Mutsuki Tooru x Reader: When the party's over

A/N: Guess who's back with a good set of oneshots

Obviously not me

Anyways, I came back to life and the shenanigans will take a small break so I can give you guys some oneshots

Looks like my imagination came back to life

Anyway, short oneshots cuz I feel angsty and sad and because why not

From 400-800 words

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[Y/N] POV

"I'm so sorry... I can't..."

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Everything I did... was for you...

Every little thing I did... was for your own good...

Was it... not good enough...?

Did I do something wrong...?

Was I... not good enough for you...?

I'm sorry... that I'm not him...

The one that broke your heart to pieces... and refused to take your hand when you offered him the chance to come back to his usual life...

Or the lie he lived for so long...

Was it really worth it... to sacrifice yourself like this...?

Was he even thankful for everything?

No... not even a little...

As for me... I was the happiest person alive to know that you're happy...

I was thankful for my humble life to know that you're happy...

I felt blessed every time I got to see your genuine smile...

That smile... I would do whatever it takes to see it again...

But will I ever get to see it again...?

I don't think so...

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That day... it's still on replay in my head...

When I found your true nature...

"Tooru... You're... a girl...?"

I'll never forget the mortified look on your face when you held tightly to your bare chest a wet, blood stained shirt, staring at me as I stared back at you in disbelief

I'll never forget those round and clear tears as the waters of a lake that rolled furiously down your cheeks as I continued to stare at you, unable to form any proper sentences or at least make a sound

And I'll never forgive myself that I made you cry... and that I let him be the one that found your true self

These things... are my sins... and lies...

I promised to not tell anyone, so I did... I did everything you asked... to change who I was... into the person you wanted me to be...

I tore my shirt to stop your bleeding... I tore my heart into pieces to complete the missing spaces in your heart... but you still... you never seemed to be thankful for anything I did... I strived to be better... I strived to be more like him... So I could finally make you happy... proud of me... make you love me as much as I love you...

And now I come to think... That you will never be unable to love me as much as I love you... because the love that I have for you... is incomparable

I was there for you every time you felt sad... I was there for you when an emotional outbreak occurred... I was there for you, even if all you did was to yell at me... Maybe I have wronged you... Maybe I was wrong when it came to love you...

But I'm tired... Tired to follow your directions... Tired to get my heart broken every time you mentioned him... Tired to get yelled at... Tired to tolerate and even love such a toxic person...

You were toxic to me... you intoxicated me with your love... you were like a drug to me... my strange addiction... something I would never get tired of... And that smile... That beautiful smile... it felt like an overdose... Those adoring eyes...

Everything about you was and it's still perfect...

Even if you decided to go after him... after the man that made you suffer... after Haise Sasaki... I still stood by your side and supported you in every possible way...

Even if you would just ignore me... yell at me... even beat me when something wasn't going well for you... Why...? Because you were my weakness... But now... I'll stop... I'll stop pursuing you... Because my love for you was like a drug... that I would never get sick of...

But now... for my own good... I'll stop...

It may sound selfish, but... you were more selfish when you said that you'll find him... for your own good...

So... I'll stop...

I'm done with you...

I'm done with your tantrums... your yelling... your sudden change of mood... Just because he left you...

You, on the other hand, were blinded by love... he was your drug...

We may be alike, but there's a huge difference between us...

Our whole situation is like a party... A party that I'm sick of... A loud party that gets me dizzy... confused... even drunk of love, making me drown my sorrows in the darkest corners of my sick mind... and gives me a terrible headache...

So when it stops... call me...

Tooru... No, Mutsuki...

...Call me when the party's over...