CLOSE TO ME | MARK LEE

8

I got up from bed and it was 5 in the evening. I'm just so tired I forgot about everything. Trying to find my phone under the pile of junk on the floor I realised that it was dead. I put it on charger and walked out to the kitchen.

I opened up the fridge and got out my two bottles of soju. I didn't bother drinking out of them little shot cups, like what is the point of them? I stood out and the balcony and opened the top. Chugging down at least half of it, I sighed and just stared outside. Why couldn't life be like how it was just about 10 years ago? Why did it just have to go downhill? I have no one left behind me to see how I am doing. No one left to be proud of me. No one left to brag about me to their friends. Reaching this tiring fame was no point when the most important people weren't here.

Deciding not to think as much I finished off the first bottle of soju and opened up the second one. I would like to think that I can tolerate soju well but I don't actually know. To test myself, I downed this whole bottle without thinking about my decision twice. I dropped the bottle on the floor and heard it smash. I couldn't bother to pick it up so I just decided to leave it there and go back inside.

I reached the kitchen counter and leaned against it. I have no idea where the other members were but I was trying to find them. I took a step and then god knows what happened.
~~~~~
I woke up to someone intensely slapping my face. My vision was just so blurry that I couldn't tell who it is. Don't tell me. Is it really her. She can't be, she's no more. "Mum." I said squinting my eyes.
No one said anything and I had no idea but I thought it was her. After a minute, I was splashed with water and my face. Just little droplets. I opened my eyes again and rubbed them so I could see better.
"Areum?" I asked in a hoarse voice.
"Mark.. what are you doing on the floor? Did you pass out?"
I got up and sat straight, I noticed that this is where I was last night.
"Uh, how long have you been here?"
"Just 15 minutes but you scared me. I thought something happened to yo- I can smell really strong alcohol. Was it you?" She looked at me with sincere eyes.
"Don't tell me you overdrank and just fell on the floor. You didn't even my reply to my messages so I decided to come straight here after being discharged."
I looked at the clock on the was and it said it was 7:00.
"I'm..I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. It's just that... ugh I don't know. It's just normal for me to drink too much then pass out but my members normally help me."
I touched my forehead in confusion to then notice that I was drenched in sweat.
"Let me get you up." Areum offered and helped lift me up. I walked into my room where my phone was in charger.

5 messages- Areum
1 message-Yuta hyung

Areum: are you on the way?

Where are you? It's been ages.

Helloooo Mark, are you still sleeping?

I'm about to be discharged. Where are you?

I'm on the way to your dorm.

Yuta: Hi Mark. I know it's sudden but we're all going to TY's house for the night. We'll see you tomorrow!

That's where they all were. They just left me. But then again, I left Areum on her own.

"I'm so sorry Areum, I'm so sorry. My phone was dead when I came back so I put it on charger. I woke up and then drowned myself in soju. I hope you forgive me. I'm just so irresponsible. You shouldn't trust me. I'm not that great as I seem. I can't take care of myself, never mind someone els-" I spluttered.

"Mark. Mark." She grabbed my shoulders. "Don't worry about me. Honestly. I just need you to take care of yourself. I can't see you in this state. I thought something might've happened to you just then. No one was home and you could've gotten injured. And I don't want that. You mean a lot to me."