The Year of the Tiger (Book 3 of The Almair Series) (Completed)

Chapter 48

I sat down on my head and sighed, moving a hand through my hair. I needed some more sleep, but I needed to figure out why Marcus had given me this stuff, and the only way I would be able to do that was to read the note he left me.

Sighing, I grabbed the shoebox from where I had placed it and set it gently in my lap. Taking out the journal, I set it to the side before picking up some of the debris, still curious why it was in the box.

The pieces of clothing were dirty with age and being in the box for far too long. They were from what used to be a black shirt, and I could tell that the shirt was made from cotton. Somehow the shirt had been ripped, and I had a feeling it was because of Marcus for whatever reason.

Closing my eyes, I held it to my nose and took in a deep breath, hoping to pick up a scent. However, I couldn't, and I could only pick up the scent of the dirt and leaves that filled the box.

Feeling dejected, I tossed the piece of shirt back into the box. "Well, that was a bust," I muttered, moving a hand through my hair.

"What was?" Matt asked, walking into my room with a bowl of fruit, and my brother at my side. He tossed a grape into his mouth and looked at the box in my hands. "What's that?"

"A box Marcus had given me," I said. I folded my legs and shifted, waiting for him to take his place at my side.

"What's in the box?" Matt asked. He sat down beside me, and Brody laid down at our feet. Curiously, he grabbed the journal by my side and looked at the cover.

"Pieces of clothing, leaves, and dirt," I replied. I nodded to the journal. "That was in there, too."

"Have you read it yet?" Matt asked, and I shook my head no. He sighed mockingly and shook his head, handing it to me. "Read it, Martha," he said, giving me a pointed look.

I rolled my eyes and opened the worn journal, and took out the piece of paper that had been tucked in it before setting the journal back beside me. Taking a deep breath, I opened the letter to read what he had told me, hoping it would shed some light on how he was feeling.

Martha,

I don't know if you will ever get the chance to read this, but I pray that you do. I pray that you will find a way to help me and help those that I have harmed. I pray to be free, but I know that will not happen, not unless there is a way you can do it.

I know that you don't trust me; I saw it in your eyes when you first looked at me, and it broke my heart. I could tell that you didn't recognize me and pray that the picture I gave you helps you remember who I am and how much you mean to Katalina and me.

But to be frank, I feel that it is only wishful thinking, and you will hate me no matter what I say or try to say.

I am a monster after all, after all of the shit I had not only placed my wife through but my daughters as well. It made me sick, but I had no choice. I never have a choice, for I can't control him no matter how hard I try. I am not strong enough to go against their wishes or become free from their voices inside my head.

I want to be free from them, but I don't know how to free myself from them and had almost given up hope until Nessa told me that you, the Almair, were looking for a place to work and find a place that would help you train to be a tiger. When you knocked on the door that day, I felt relieved that it was you when I opened it. I wanted to cry, to tell you how relieved I was when I saw that you were the Almair, but I couldn't. I didn't want to slam the door in your face. I didn't want to attack you, but I had no choice.

I am just proud that you are still stubborn as ever and didn't let my antics get in the way of you trying to stay and help my family. I hope that there is a way that you will be able to help me and break this curse.

I will try to help you in any way I can, but the only time I feel like I am of a clear mind is when I am alone, and they have left me for a while. That is the only time I can process what had happened at that moment and when they don't need me.

When they do need me, I can't remember anything, no matter how hard I try. It is all blank. If I ever do something and act like I do not remember, please understand that I do not remember and do not tell me what had happened. I do not know if I can take another heartbreak.

I tried to help by writing down anything that had happened to me in the journal or feeling them taking control. I do not know if it will make sense, but I hope that it does. I don't know why I have the dirt, leaves, or pieces of a shirt in there as well, but I hope that there is some way that they can help you.

If there is any way that I can help you, I will try. I do not care if I die or not because I have helped you. I would be with my love, and I know that my love would be pleased if I did.

She'd be proud of you, of all that you have accomplished in your time as Almair and as a person. Know that I am proud of you too and, I hope that one day, I will be able to tell you.

Show Shardul the journal and this letter, and please let him know that I am sorry for failing him and his mate. Whenever I am free from this curse, I will try everything in my power to make it right.

I have to go. Something is happening inside of me, and I am scared of what it means. Again, know that I am proud of you and will help in any way that I can.

You have brought me to hope to live again.

Thank you, Almair.

Marcus

***

I reread the note and frowned, more confused than ever. I had no idea what Marcus had meant by not remembering what he had done and wondered if he didn't know that he had kidnapped his daughter and brought her someplace back to them.

It would explain why he had been mumbling 'what have I done' when Shardul and they had gotten him. However, were there other instances that he had done it, or was that the only one?

"Martha?" Matt asked, stirring me from my thoughts. Gently, he placed his hand on my cheek and turned my head until I was facing him. Concern filled his eyes while he studied me, and he frowned. "What's wrong? What happened? What did you see? You had a blank look on your face and looked like you are about to cry."

I blinked back the tears and cleared my throat. I blinked again, getting myself out of my thoughts, and cleared my throat again when I felt it close. "Oh, umm... Marcus," I said, handing him the letter. "He... is in pain." I furrowed my brows and frowned. "And, I know of one way that I might be able to help him, but I don't know how long I can give him the relief."

Matt took the letter from me and read it. Confusion filled his brown eyes, and he furrowed his brows in concentration while he reread it. "So... he's being controlled?" he asked, and I nodded my head. "When did this happen?"

"After Miss Kip was killed," I said, moving a hand across my face. "He went out, and they took him. They changed his mind, and now he hears voices or is controlled."

"Wait, Dark Forces have powers? Since when?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know," I said honestly. "I want to know, but... I don't know when I will be ready for the information."

Matt nodded his head and handed me the journal. "Then read on something else," he said. "Maybe this could answer some of your questions. All you have to do is read."

I rolled my eyes at my cheeky mate but nodded my head. I took another deep breath to prepare myself, opened the book to the first page, and started to read, praying that I could catch something different from the words he had to say.