Healing Each Other (Loki Fanfiction)

Chapter 9

          The next morning is the first sunrise I've spent by myself in a few days. While I enjoy it, it isn't quite the same without Loki. I've grown to like our conversations under the rising or setting sun.

          After, I tromp inside to make breakfast. I haven't had a headache in a while, which I take to be a good sign, but what do I know? Instead of worrying about that, I focus on cracking eggs and figuring out my...powers.

          Nat and Tony. I felt both of their emotions yesterday but brushed it off as assuming. Apparently, that was wrong. And then I felt Loki's through my dreams. His emotions were a mix of happy and sad, light and dark. A bit like him. Bruce is wrong. They're all wrong. He's certainly not completely good, but he's not evil, either.

          My mind strays to something Loki told me yesterday. No one has ever gotten into my mind before. I put up too many defenses. Have people attempted? I didn't even try, it was a complete accident. Too many defenses. He really does keep to himself. What is he hiding?

          The omelets are done, so I retrieve Loki's biology book from the couch before sitting on a bar stool to eat. I flip to the chapter on early concepts of reproduction, but I can't focus. There's no activity in the Tower this morning. It feels strange. I'm used to at least someone being up with me. Come to think of it, it's odd that Loki isn't up yet, especially because he said he doesn't like sleeping. Maybe he finally caved and got some rest. I made him a veggie omelet, so I decide to bring it to his room. The door is shut, so I tentatively knock. No response. I try again. The same thing happens. Hmmm.

          Maybe I'll leave him alone. He'll be up later, and there is a microwave. Right before I move away from the door, I hear soft moans. Then cries. Mumbling, pleading. Nightmares. I'm no stranger to dreams that jerk me from sleep. Most of them involve past missions, or Bruce lashing out at me, or my parents dying all over again. No one should suffer alone.

          Even though I'll probably regret it, I carefully push the door open and poke my head in. What I see breaks my heart. Loki keeps tossing in his bed, clearly agitated. I think the word he keeps repeating is "please," but it's hard to tell. I place the plate on a table and cautiously approach him. Being in here feels wrong, like I'm playing with fire.

          "Loki," I whisper. No response. "Loki, wake up." I put a hand on his shoulder and shake it gently. He keeps writhing in bed, so I put both hands on him and shake harder. All of a sudden, he snaps out of the nightmare and moves so quickly I have no chance to react. He pushes me against the wall, a small dagger against my throat. I stare at him with wide eyes, completely taken aback. It's like he doesn't even recognize me. And with a gasp, I watch as his appearance changes.

          His skin morphs from its normal pale hue to an icy blue, and his beautiful eyes flare red like the sun. His most terrifying feature is the expression he wears, full of hate and anger. I'm full on hyperventilating now: no one is here to hear me scream.

         "Lo-ki," I sputter, trying to gain any sense of control, but it's pointless. He can kill me and I can do nothing to stop him. "Please!"

          His expression drops in a matter of seconds, from murderous to dully horrified. I scurry away to the opposite wall. He drops the dagger and I grab at my throat, trying to assess any damage. I don't think there is physically, but I'm mentally hurt by what just occurred. They were right not to trust him.

          "Eliza? I am so, so sorry, what are you doing in-?" Loki reaches out a hand to see if I'm okay, but he catches sight of himself in the mirror and stops. He just looks for a moment, anger rising again in those red eyes. He takes it all in: blue skin, red eyes, murderous face. He turns away quickly, moving to the other end of the room to cover himself with anything.

          "Loki?" I whisper. Despite being terrified, I can't help but feel pity for him. Whatever is happening, he's just as horrified as me. It must be awful to be scared of yourself.

          "Leave," he says, voice cracking with that one word. In it, I hear all the negative emotions I felt in him yesterday. They easily overtake the good.

          "But-"

          "Did you not hear what I just said, you pathetic mortal? Get out, I swear, get out!" He screams, finally unleashing all of his shame and hate. I don't hesitate to listen, slamming the door as I run. I pause to catch my breath and hear a plate shatter against the wall. I sink to the floor, back against the wall, and know that I am not the only one crying.

Chapter 9!! Short but emotional. A lot of screaming and tears. It'll get better, I promise... or will it?

Just curious, I've been making a playlist that goes with this story. Would you be interested in me posting it?

As always, leave some comments and vote! Love you all and hope you're having a great day!