Healing Each Other (Loki Fanfiction)

Chapter 17

          "Loki," I say one day, braving a question I've been putting off for at least two months in Asgard. I used to be afraid. I still am, but it feels different now. We've grown closer. He looks up from his book after finishing his sentence. "What happened...that day, in your room?" I don't elaborate. He knows exactly what I'm talking about.

          "I don't know if I should answer that," he says carefully, eyes moving back to his book.

          "Why?"

          "Because I'm afraid of what you're going to think." His words are simple, but I take his hand and grip it tightly, letting the small waves of fear and nerves flow into me. In return, I let a bit of my contentment leave my head and enter his. Loki sighs. "You really don't need to do that."

          "It helps you. Of course I need to." Maybe it's because I'm an Empath, or I'm soft, or compassionate. Or maybe it's because Loki is my best friend, and I hate seeing him hurt.

          "Fine. This is a bit of a sob story. Don't say I didn't warn you." He takes a deep breath and begins.

          He tells me about his being adopted by Odin, how his true parentage was tucked away, hidden completely from him. How he grew up hating the very thing he was. The day he learned his real heritage. How hard he tried to please his father over the years, the father who always favored Thor. Thor, the golden son, firstborn. How Frigga was the only one who treated him like his own person. How his blue form repulsed him as much as it terrified him, and how hard it is to control when he's scared, like after nightmares. Through voice cracks and pauses where I'm not sure he'll continue, Loki tells the story of what made him who he is. A story of heartbreak and betrayal, pain and neglect. But I see something in it he doesn't.

          His story isn't over yet.

          "It's okay," I tell him once he finishes. "Thank you for telling me all that."

          He gives me a small smile. "How about you? What's your sad story?"

          Something stirs in my chest, something warm that almost feels like magic. I want to tell him. Inexplicably, I want to tell him everything. I want him to know me better than anyone ever has before. So I tell him.

          I tell him about being adopted when I was two, after being left on the steps of an orphanage. How my adopted parents gave me the love I craved, but always put pressure on me to be just like Bruce. How cold it was the night Nick Fury knocked on the door and told me that my parents were dead. How I screamed for hours, with no one home but me. I tell him about the day before Bruce's experiment, how excited and full of life he was. How that was the last time I ever saw him like that. How the minute I graduated high school, he left me alone. How I joined up with SHIELD because I knew no life other than it.

          "We're quite messed up, aren't we, my little sol?" Loki asks quietly once I'm done.

          "I think we established that, the night at Avengers Tower." I miss them so much it hurts. Nat's smile, Clint's warmth, Steve's wisdom, Bruce's guidance, even Tony's wisecracks.

          Loki follows my thoughts. "Thinking about home?" He's right to call it home. While I love Asgard, it's not home. Home is the little house I grew up in, with the woods and that playhouse my dad built. Home is the Avengers Tower, where my brother is. Not here.

          I nod. "Yeah. I miss them all. It's nice here, but it doesn't feel right. I don't even know how much time has passed on Earth. I've probably missed so much! What if I missed Christmas?"

          "What's Christmas?" Loki asks, puzzled. I am too until I realize that religion probably isn't a thing here.

          "A holiday," I say. "Does time pass differently here?"

          "Yes. Asgardian days are almost twice as long as those on Midgard."

          "That explains why I've been so tired," I joke, glancing out the window.

          "If you want to go back, all you have to do is ask Heimdall," he says, snapping me out of my thoughts. My head shoots up, making him laugh. "At the very least, he could tell you how much time has passed, but you could go home whenever you want."

          "Loki, really?" He grins and nods, standing to shelve his book. Elation overcomes me. "Ahh, you're the greatest! I could kiss you!"

          WHAT DID I JUST SAY?

          I said that out loud. I actually said that. Holy holy holy something. I feel the red shooting up my dumb neck onto my dumb cheeks.

          Loki turns to face me slowly, a mischevious grin spreading on his gorgeous face. "Well, don't let me stop you."

          That's all it takes. I fling my arms around and kiss him, pressing my lips to his hard. He spins me around and sets me on the floor without breaking the kiss. My hands go to his neck, and his rest on my hips. We fit together so well This feels good, right, I think to myself. I feel his smile on my lips. Get out of my head and just kiss me.

          Anything for you, my little sol, his voice whispers in my mind. A little sigh escapes my lips. He smells like aftershave and books. After another minute, we break apart, grinning like the idiots we are. I just kissed a prince, who looks like he wants to do a backflip.

          "I've been wanting to do that for a while," he admits.

          "What held you back?"

          "You. You can be quite intimidating, you know. Not to mention that your brother slapped me on the concrete like a doll a few months ago."

          I laugh. Fury showed me the security footage of that. "You're not afraid of my brother, are you?"

          "No. And you're not afraid of Odin, correct?"

          "Of course not. I don't know if your father will like this," I tease, pointing two the two of us and our loose embrace. His eyes sparkle.

          "My dear, who cares?" And he kisses me again.

MY FANGIRL HEART.

I've been waiting to write their first kiss because I wanted their relationship to start out as friends with a bit of a connection that grows. In other news, Eliza might be paying a visit to Heimdall (what a man, am I right?) and then Earth!