Healing Each Other (Loki Fanfiction)

Chapter 40

"Hey Scott?" I murmur a few days after Tony's strange visit. I know he's awake. He's the only one who is. Everyone else somehow drifted off. I'd say they were lucky, but I don't want another nightmare. And everything aches. I barely remember what being comfortable feels like.

"Yeah?"

"How are you?"

"Fine, I guess," he whispers, meeting my eyes through the bars. "You?"

I sigh. "I've been better."

"You should get some sleep," he says. I'm reminded of the eighty-six hours I stayed awake, and how Natasha told me the same thing. What I would give for five minutes of conversation with her. "You're always awake."

"I don't really like to anymore. It's not an escape."

He mulls this over. "Can I do anything for you?"

Can he? He can't get me food or a dreamless sleep or Loki, the three things I need most. I almost dismiss the offer, but realize that he can do something. "Tell me about something happy."

"What?"

"A time you were happy. Tell me a story."

"Um, okay. Well, before I became Ant Man, things were simpler. I was divorced and fresh out of jail, but I had Cassie. She was all I needed. One night, I got fired. It was the first job I had gotten in months, but when they found out I spent time in the big house, it was all over.

"I came home all upset, you know? Disappointed. I couldn't give her the life I wanted to. I couldn't be the dad I wanted to be. I was just an ex-criminal who couldn't put his life back together. But she just came over to me on the couch, gave me a big hug, and asked if I wanted to watch a Disney marathon. So we did. We watched at least ten movies, burnt two bags of popcorn, ate a few tubs of ice cream, and both fell asleep by the end." There's a certain nostalgia to his voice, one that makes me ache for happy moments again. "Your turn."

Which to choose? I do have them, it's just hard to picture right now. "One time in Asgard, Loki took me up to the roof. We were skipping a ball to be up there, and it was absolutely perfect. The sunset was all golden and red, and I can just hear his voice reading this poem about the sun. I felt so safe in his arms." Tears slip down my cheeks before I can stop them. I don't even try. "Do you think we're ever getting out of here?" I sound so helpless, so hopeless.

"I don't know." The words break on the way out. He stares at the ground. "I try not to think about that, to be honest."

"It's just- I like living. This isn't living, it's barely surviving. I like dancing and watching sunsets and studying late at night and when the leaves change colors and being held and laughing until my sides hurt and healing people, and now I can't do any of that." A sob erupts from my throat, the emotions I have held in so long to protect others. Trapped. I'm trapped, and no one is coming for me.

Steve, like everyone else, has abandoned me. Bruce never decided to come back into my life. Loki is probably dead somewhere, that's why he isn't here yet. "Scott, why does everyone leave?" I cry, leaning against the wall of my cell. Each built up emotion hurts, each secret feeling breaks my heart more and more. I just feel so alone. He crawls over and leans his head against the spot my head is. We're as connected as we can be. Scott doesn't say anything. He just stays there, trying to be there for me as I sob and take shuddering breaths to calm myself down. We both fall asleep there, and I get my wish: I dream of nothing.

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Crash! A sound that loud would normally scare me, but I actually don't care anymore. Footsteps echo in the relatively hollow room, so I open my eyes. Maybe Tony came back. It takes a second for me to focus, and I squint.

Green light. And a familiar magic signature.

It swirls around the room as the locks start to pop open. I stand up as well as I can, but I'm unsteady on my feet.

"Everybody out, quick!" Someone shouts. Steve. I don't want to believe. This is just another sick dream. Then I'll wake up and be even more depressed.

"We have about two minutes before they know we're in here," someone else warns. My heart leaps. I know that voice.

"Lokes?" I whisper, moving towards the door. I stumble into his arms. He holds me tightly, like if he lets me go, I'll vanish. He doesn't seem real. But he is. He's real and whole and here.

"Love, I've got you now. We're leaving," he says gently, pushing my hair out of my face. The others all crowd around, listening to Steve's orders. The familiar feeling of teleportation envelopes me and we all appear inside the quinjet. Steve runs to the pilot seat and prepares for takeoff. With me still wrapped in his arms, Loki says, "there's food over in that container if anyone wants any. If not, we'll reach our destination in a few hours. I'd recommend rest since none of you seem terribly injured." I would go hug Clint or Scott, but I don't want to leave the safety of Loki. He guides me over to a built-in bench, and I lean on him.

"You came back." The thought is so surprising, so happy. I thought he was dead. But he's here, right here, holding me.

"Of course I did, my little sol," he mumbles, his concerned eyes never leaving me. "I can't feel your magic."

"It's because of this," I say, raising a finger to point to my neck brace. "Every time I use my magic, it shocks me. That's where all of the burns came from. I tried to heal everyone." I wait for him to reprimand me for not taking care of myself first, but he just breaks the brace off and begins to heal me.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. Even in the dark, I can see the guilt on his face. "I never should have left you alone."

"You did what you had to. We all did. I'm not mad at you. You shouldn't be mad at yourself." I lay my head on his shoulder, where it seems to fit perfectly. He notices me shivering and drapes his cloak over me like a blanket. It's heavy, warm, and smells like him. "We have so much to catch up on."

"You should rest. We'll talk later. Right now, all you need to know is you're safe. I've got you." Loki lets me put my head in his lap. Pressing a tender kiss on my forehead, he strokes my hair until I fall asleep.

LOKI'S POV

I stroke Eliza's hair as gently as I can, hoping that my soothing her works its way into her system. Having been tortured myself, I can imagine what she's been through these last few weeks. I trace my hand over cuts and bruises, watching them fade away. Tear stains run down her pale dirty face. My little sol. They hurt her. I want to hurt them all, but I keep my emotions at bay. She's extremely vulnerable now, and I don't want my negativity to affect her in any way.

"She finally asleep?" A voice asks across from me. I glance up. When I see it's only Barton, I nod, then go back to healing her. There are so many hidden bruises. "That's good. She barely ever slept back there."

"Thank you," I whisper. He looks confused. "You kept her safe while I was gone. She was protected in your home. Thank you for taking care of her."

Barton doesn't seem surprised I know that. "You're welcome. The kid needed a place to unwind and figure a few things out." He stretches his arms and lowers his voice, even though no one is paying attention to us. Wanda and Lang are already asleep, and Wilson went to talk to Rogers up front. "I hear some congratulations are in order for the two of you."

He knows. Of course he does. Eliza is closest to Clint and the Captain, and she stayed with him, too. I wonder if she told Rogers. "Thank you."

"She showed up to my place at dawn one morning, completely drained physically and emotionally. It was right after all the crap about the Accords. She went almost ninety hours without sleep. Had a mental breakdown right in my kitchen." I glance down at my girl, calm for once in sleep. How much has she had fight through without me? She doesn't need me, but we're a team. "My point is, I protected her. Now it's your turn to do the same."

She shifts on my lap but luckily doesn't wake. I love my selfless little sol. "I will."

They're back together, aahhh I love Loki and Eliza so much.