Crash And Burn

Chapter 4

"Are you cold?" Ryan asked, seeing Jordyn shiver slightly. They were sitting outside of Ryan's bus. They had been talking with Chase and Mel, but wouldn't you know it, those two had disappeared.

"A little." Jordyn replied.

Ryan took off his hoodie and handed it to her. She could smell him on the shirt, and it was intoxicating. God! Whatever it was that made him smell so damn good should be outlawed. She held the shirt against her and inhaled his scent again.

"What about you? You'll get cold."

"If I do, I'll go inside and get another shirt. It's fine. Or we could just go inside." He suggested. Seeing the wary look in her face, he added "We can watch a movie."

"Okay." She nodded.

Jordyn had no idea what they were even watching. She had lost interest a long time ago, if she was even interested to begin with.

She couldn't help but sneak side glances at Ryan, admiring his profile. The perfectly straight nose, the light stubble along his jawline, the long eyelashes. He was extremely attractive.

As if he felt her staring, he turned his head, his blue eyes locked with hers. She felt the warmth creeping up her face as she blushed. Busted.

He leaned in, his hand cupped her face as his lips brushed against hers. Softly at first, until Jordyn placed her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him closer. Intoxicating indeed.

The kiss became more heated as he licked at her bottom lip and his tongue explored her mouth.

Jordyn felt as if she were falling, as she realized she was now lying on her back on the couch, Ryan fully on top of her, his hand caressing her hip.

She felt his hardness pressing against her center and yearned to feel that hardness inside of her. No! This was way wrong. But it felt so right.

Conflicted, she dragged her mouth away from his, and his lips fell to her neck. Kissing, licking, sucking, nipping. She fell into the abyss once again, lost in the feeling.

God, this was pure heaven, but the thoughts running through her head were downright sinful.

His lips on hers once again, his hardness pressing against her even deeper. The hand that was caressing her hip slipped under the hem of her shirt. His touch searing hot against her bare skin. Inching up along her stomach, her rib cage, finally cupping her breast. His other hand tangled in her hair.

No. Yes. NO!!! She dragged her mouth away from his. "Ryan." She murmured hoarsely.

His lips back on her neck. He found the spot behind her ear, suckling on it. "Ryan, stop."

"Hmmm." He murmured.

"No! Stop." She squirmed under him, pushing against his chest, trying to get out from under him.

He finally realized she was struggling and sat up.

"Ryan, I'm sorry. I can't do this." She choked out.

Ryan raked his fingers through his hair. "No, I'm sorry. I got carried away."

"So did I. Maybe I should go." She stood up, looking like she was ready to bolt.

Ryan grabbed her hand to stop her. He looked at her swollen lips and tousled hair. He realized he had never wanted something so much before. It didn't matter if they had sex or not. He just wanted to be with her. "Please don't go Jordyn. I really want you to stay."

She hesitated. "We can talk. Please. I would really like to get to know you better. Just talk."

She sat back down next to him. "Ryan, just let me explain." He placed his finger on her lips.

"There is nothing to explain. You're not ready to take it that far, and I'm okay with that."

"I want to, but... You're right. I'm not ready. I do want to explain though. "You see, I absolutely suck at relationships. Not that what this is is even a relationship. Hell, I don't really know what it is. An attraction? Whatever it is though, I don't want to fuck it up. I've been there. I used to have a very bad habit of hopping into bed with someone way too soon in a relationship, only to have the relationship literally crash and burn. I stopped doing that. I had to. For me. I've been wandering aimlessly in circles for a long time trying to find my way in life. I'm still trying to find my way, and throwing sex into the equation only complicates things more."

"Jordyn. I told you you didn't have to explain anything. I understand. We have only known each other for a day."

"I know, and maybe I'm getting carried away again, jumping the gun. I'm not meaning to lump you into the same category as other guys, I'm just trying to say that I'm not looking for anything sexual, but if you are, it's best we find out now and go our separate ways."

"I like you Jordyn. I know we just met, but I really do want to get to know you. I like being with you. You don't give a shit about who I am and what I do for a living. I think that's what I like most about you. If I was just looking for sex, I could find that easily. No, I'm not bragging, all it would take is simply going onto Twitter and checking my DM's. I'm not proud of that, and to be honest, it makes me sick sometimes, the women who degrade themselves just so they can say they hooked up with someone famous or even semi famous. I'm just a regular guy who happens to drive a race car. That's it. I will tell you that I would be lying if I said I didn't want to sleep with you, but that's just me being honest. I'm insanely attracted to you, but we don't have to do anything that you are uncomfortable with or you're not ready for."

Ryan's eyes were so sincere, that she had to believe the things he was saying. "I would also be lying if I said I didn't want to take things farther. I'm also very attracted to you as well. I just can't fall back into that pattern again. It became a vicious cycle and it was too hard to break free from it. If you are okay with just getting to know each other, and maybe a little PG-13 making out, then I'll stay, and we can see what happens."

He put his arm around her shoulder and kissed her forehead. "I'm more than okay with that. I may need a cold shower later, but let's see what happens."