LOVEGAME OVER

41 - Pause

Taehyung is lying on Hoseok's bed – something he seems to have been doing all week. Indeed, Taehyung has refused to go to school, fearing to get mad if he saw either Yoongi or Jimin, and has stayed at Hoseok's, only informing his dad he was at a friend's. But he was bored. There was actually nothing to do at Hoseok's, because he did not own a console, being at the same time too poor to afford one and uninterested in it anyway. Hoseok was furthermore never there, for he had to work as a waiter to earn enough money to help his family live. This was definitely no fun for Taehyung, who could only talk to Hoseok's little sister, and kept texting Hoseok instead, asking when he would be back home.

Truth is, Taehyung misses his friends. He has never had to question his friendships, because he would take them all for granted. But now that he has to, he realises how fragile they were, for they all crumbled with just one strike. And Taehyung had let them crumble. Had he once tried to understand his friends? Had he talked to them, or at least listened to them?

Taehyung suddenly shakes his head. What was that? Remorse? Guilt? He did not feel any of those. He did not need any friend, not if those did not take into account his feelings. Did Yoongi ask him before seducing his mother? Did Jimin stop pretending to be Jungkook when Taehyung started having feelings? None of them did.

He whines annoyingly. He hates this situation. He knows he eventually has to go back to school, to talk to them. Worst of all, he knows he needs them. But he will never bring himself to admit it, and even less to admit it to them.

"Are you hurt?" Taehyung hears.

He unburies his face from Hoseok's pillow and notices his friend's little sister standing in the doorway. She looks worried. "No, it's fine."

"But you were crying."

"No, I wasn't."

The little girl makes a few steps in the bedroom and stops near Taehyung. "Hoseok-oppa says it's okay for a boy to cry."

"Yes, it is. My mom says that, too." Taehyung sits up, letting a little room for the girl to sit next to him.

"Why are you here?" she asks innocently. "Mom says you can't stay at your house. Your parents don't love you anymore?"

The boy starts. What was that? "No, no, I– They love me. A lot. It's just me, I needed to leave."

"So you don't love them anymore."

"No, it's not that! I– Hum, I love them. I guess. I wanted to be with Hoseok for a while. I needed to think."

"Is that why you were hurt? Because you were thinking too much?"

Taehyung chuckles. "Yeah. I'm hurt because of my friends. They've been mean to me."

"Hoseok-oppa says things and people are never all white or all black. So it's your fault too."

"Looks like something Hoseok would say," Taehyung mumbles. He adds with a sigh, "Well, yeah, maybe I should have been more present for Jimin, and maybe for my mom too, but I can't be the reason why they did what they did."

"Hoseok-oppa says you should always understand others, that way you can forgive them."

Taehyung frowns. Hoseok has always been a moralist, but with his sister's words, his moral message was even more obvious and meaningful. But is he really ready to understand others? "They're the ones who don't want to understand me," he mutters stubbornly.

"Hoseok-oppa says you should do everything to keep the ones you love by your side, even if they hurt you. Because in the end, you'll always need them more than they need you."

And it strikes Taehyung, even if he will deny it. He needs them, of course. But more than that, he just loves them.

"I think I've still got much to learn from Hoseok-oppa, then," he tells the little girl with a shy smile.