8. "To me, he's dead."

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I was trying to clear my head. I've been looking for an explanation for why anyone, especially my brother, would do such a thing? I didn't want to go home. Not yet. Honestly, I don't even know what to say to Felix. He disappointed me. I just want him gone. I don't want to hear his bad excuses. And yet, after all, he beats Harvey. Now I'm convinced that Harvey is better off in life without me and my problems.

I was interrupted for a moment by my mobile phone. It's Alex.

"Hey. I didn't see the message right away. Are you still with Harvey? "

"No. Can I come to your place? I don't want to go home. "

"Yes, of course. What's the matter? You sound fucked-up."

"I'll tell you everything. I'll come soon. "

I ordered an Uber and I sat down all wet from the rain and gave the driver the address. The driver didn't complain about wet seats. I guess everyone can see I'm a fucked-up enough today and that it's better if he don't say anything.

"Wow Lil'... Oh, I'm so sorry. I would never have guessed that Felix was behind all those things. What a jerk. Sorry. Oh... "– Alex said, clearly shocked.

"Jerk. Yes, that's why I don't want to go home today. Can I sleep here? "

"Why do you even ask me that? Of course. I got some beers in the fridge, I'll make popcorn and we'll watch the movie! It will be a fun night! "

"That would be nice."- A little fun huh, I thought.

We watched our favourite teen movie. Mean girls. Hanging out with Alex always puts a smile on my face. I love her comments during the movie.

"Ummm, Lila? What are you going to do now? With Felix, Harvey? "

"I'm not sure. Harvey's better off without me, you know that. I don't want to see Felix, and I'm pretty sure he'll think of something stupid and I won't get a sincere apology. I need to concentrate on finding a job. Or at least an internship in my profession." – I explained and I remembered I neglected to find a job these days.

"You can get some rest..."

"I tried and see what happened. It's better when I'm busy with work and stuff. So at least I don't have to think about all this nonsense. "

When I said those words, I remembered I had to call my mom or dad and tell them where I was. They must be worried. I also remembered how hard and embarrassing it would be to explain why I'm suddenly not talking to my beloved brother. But that is a worry for another day.

"I will also try to keep you occupied! We're going to get through this! Just remember, I'm here for you always, and I love you. "

It's really good to have Alex as a friend. She is always there for me.

"So, where's Carrie? Have you heard from her? "

"She's at the cinema with her boyfriend and his friends."

"Oh. That means Harvey's probably with them too. "

After a brief thinking, I called my mom.

"Lila, where have you been all day?"

"Sorry, I went for coffee then I came to Alex's place. We were watching the movie, and then we were talking, and I didn't realize what time it was. I'll stay at her place tonight. "

"You could have at least called. All right, stay. But you have to show up for breakfast tomorrow morning! Felix and Maggie are going right after to an airport."

"If I don't sleepover in the morning, I will. Say hello to Maggie. Goodnight! "– I broke up before mom managed to answer.

I want him gone. And no, I don't want to see him. Maybe never again in life. I turned my phone off deliberately so I couldn't hear the morning alarm. Fuck him. To me, he's not my brother anymore.

Harvey at the moment:

I'm freaking out in this smelly, lousy movie theatre. The movie they picked was a disaster. I should have stayed home and looked at the wall. I'd be more interesting. Not to talk about the whole time that Niel and Carrie were all over themselves. They've spoiled already enough ugly atmosphere.

During the movie, I decided to send Lila a message. Just to make sure she's okay. And I have to be sure that jerk Felix didn't say anything to her. He wouldn't. He's in deep shit now just as me.

„Hey L. Did you arrive home safely? I'm stuck at the movies with your friend and creep Niel. It's not pleasant to see them. Hah."

I feel so cheesy and happy. What is happening to me?

That little checkmark didn't turn blue. The message was not delivered. Maybe she's asleep or maybe her battery is dead.

Uh, I caught myself thinking about her too much, again. In every situation, I think of her. I stopped watching the movie a long time ago. All I can think about is her. She was so shy and beautiful. It was all over her face that she wanted to cry. I'm just sorry I didn't run back when we separated our ways to make sure she wasn't crying. And she must have been crying. I'd hug her. We would stand like that until she is completely calm. What a sissy I've become. I'm fantasying about a girl who isn't even mine.

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