Good for you

14. The long lost letter

Harvey at the moment:

I've been driving around London for at least half an hour. I didn't want to go back to reality. The night with Lila was all I needed. I felt a rush of self-esteem, happiness and fulfilment. Though nothing had happened, nor had I expected anything, the evening was beautiful. I hope she had a great time too.

When I parked in the driveway, I saw the lights in the living room. Dad probably fell asleep in front of the TV again.

On my surprise, he was awake.

"Harvey. Sit down, we need to talk."

"Okay... Are we going to pretend that I am sixteen years old again and grounded for coming in at half-past twelve? "– I asked sarcastically.

"Prankster! Seriously, Harvey. I'm worried about you. The other day I found you beaten on the floor, unconscious. You come home late... Did you start drinking again? "

"No, what? Fuck no!"

"Don't cuss!"

"Sorry. No, Dad, you got it all wrong. "

"Help me understand then."

"I don't drink or fight around! I'm not indebted to anyone and no loan shark was in the house that beat me up. I told you, Kevin and I had a fight over some stupid thing, and that's the truth!"

"Lovely Harvey. I raised you so nicely. Why do I still feel like you're lying to me? "

"I am serious! I'm not drinking! When you're so annoying, I'll tell you. "

"I'm listening."

"I started hanging out with Lila again. You know, Jane's Lila. My first girlfriend. "

The first minute he didn't say anything.

"And that's why you go around and fight people or what? I don't understand."

"No, fuck! That's why I come home late. I'm hanging out with her. We were at the exhibit today, after we left, we went for a drink... I drank tea. Calm down. "

"I do not understand. You're back together? "

"Not yet. I don't know. We're friends for now. "

I felt really like a sixteenth-year-old who have to answer a hundred questions. Where you are, who you're with, why are you...

I convinced him somehow with a story about me and Kevin. It's better if he does not know the truth. He's had enough trouble with me since mom died of breast cancer. I'm grateful to him for everything and if he wasn't there that night, who knows what would've happened to me.

I was a stubborn child. Hell, I still am. But maybe a little less. Dad was barely able to work and raised me at the same time. If it hadn't been for my uncle Michael, I wouldn't have turned out to be a normal kid. When I turned fourteen, Michael moved to Canada with his new family. As the years passed, we heard less and less and so we stopped. I haven't seen him in three years.

Before bedtime, I was flipping through my notebook full of songs, adding a few verses that I came up with during the day, shook the strings on the guitar and threw myself into the shower.

We used did nasty things in this shower together. I believe Dad heard everything, but we didn't care.

I'm seriously lovesick fool but ever since I saw her from the stage, I can't stop thinking about how we're meant to be. I'm a fool for losing her over my drinking and lack of courage, but now everything is different. I've been sober for almost two years and I have to be patient. I'm sure we'll have a chance to be happy together again someday.