It's A Love Hate Thing

Chapter 49:The truth has come to light

Michael's POV
I wasn't in love with that other woman I was with while I was with Diana.. I was trying to find a way out of that relationship but I couldn't .. I was in too deep ...

"Hey babe can we talk"

"Sure what is it"

"There's a secret I've held onto for awhile from you"

"A secret? What kind of secret Michael?"

"Remember when we first started dating & you had that one lady that was kind of a sister to you"

"Yes..."

"Well I was with her while I was with you .. I didn't know how to tell you and I try to end it but she wouldn't let me go.. , I know you might hate me for everything I've put you through but I swear to god Diana I never meant to hurt you"

She was speechless for a moment then the most unexpected thing came out of her mouth

"I already knew Michael, she came to me and told me about you both being together. I just wish you would have told me."

"I'm sorry Diane"

By now I knew she was tired of hearing me apologize for everything.. she'll always see me as the man I once was so I told myself I might as well be

"I know"

All I could think about now is how I could fix it ... but there was no way I could fix it right now the first thought that came to me was that wine bottle she had hidden under the sink from me. I need it I want it , make me feel numb for one second so I didn't have to think about what I've done to hurt her. I've hurt her sometimes I do constantly question why she stays with me... is the love really enough? Would she still love me if I was that drunk broken fool I once was? Or would it run out.

"I'll give you some time to yourself babe"

Diana's POV
I don't want time to myself , I don't even want him to say sorry.. I just want him to hold me and tell me he loves me but this time I can't give into that compassion...

"No Michael"

"What? Why not"

"Because that's the past & I love you"

The past.. the past that constantly haunts me when I lay down at night beside him .. sometimes I feel like one day he'll get up and leave me for some other girl.

"I love you too. I really do."

Michael's POV
She says that's the past & she loves me but deep down inside I know she won't ever forget anything I've ever done starting with that and ending with me dragging her name through the dirt, it should've been my name but I was too prideful & stupid to say it.

"I know babe"

Her eyes tell me a different story, she's so good at hiding how she feels until she lets herself feel it. Then she turns everything off she tunes everyone in the world out and goes into her protective shell I know this because I do it too. I didn't let her in for the longest ... how do you tell the woman you love that someone hurt you. There goes my pride..

"What are the kids up too?"

"Diane is in her room talking to Evan & Katie is in her own world like she usually is.."

I wonder why Katie isn't found of her mother it worries me that they won't be close or have that bond we've created with all of our children.. then again Katie's really good at saying I love you then showing you the complete opposite..

"Oh okay I'm gonna go put my clothes away"

"Alright babe I'll be in my office"

I'll be in my office shedding a few tears sipping a full bottle of red aged wine ... why did it have to be my escape. Why is it so hard for me to say
I'm hurting. Help me. Instead I go to my old routine bottle pressed to my lips as the tears fall down my face like the rain falls against the concrete pavement outside.

As I walked upstairs to my office my son started at me with a look of confusion as the tear in my eye was about to fall upon my cheek I gave him a nod and a smile before hiding myself away from them.

Evan's POV
Dad's said I can see right through those I'm alright son smiles & I know my mother a little too well to give in after the first I'm fine

"Mom?"

"Yes Evan"

"Is everything alright with you and dad"

I watched as my mother paused before she answered me letting out a heavy sigh I knew everything wasn't alright they both were a little bit too good at hiding their emotions that they've hidden it all away from each other , although my father doesn't escape by going on tour and ignoring my mother anymore he'd creep away to his chair and his music and tune us all out.

"Of course everything is okay with me and dad , why wouldn't they be"

"I was just asking because he's in his office"

Diana's POV
This is too much I just need some air I don't want to think of any of this. I walked downstairs quickly out the front door hoping my husband didn't see just so I could get a moment to myself.

Michael's POV
I told her I'd stop drinking but yet here I am in my office about to open this bottle ... no actually I'm not .. I can't keep doing this to her she isn't my mother and she doesn't deserve a drunk for a husband. I just need to clear my mind ...
As I walked out of my office with my headphones in my ears listening to my CD player , before I could reach the door I seen my wife sitting outside on the grass so I walked towards her , she was sitting on the green grass then one of my favorite blues songs played I sat down beside her without saying a word putting my headphone in her ear.

James Brown Prisoner of Love played

I'm just a prisoner don't let me be a prisoner. From one command I stand and wait now

"What's this"

"Do you like the blues?"

"It depends"

"Well it's the blues, James Brown prisoner of love"

"Is that how you feel?"

"No Di I just like the song"

"It's good.. but billy holiday is better"

I was just happy she was speaking to me I didn't mind if it was about blues or one of her favorite artist.

"Which one is your favorite song?"

"I'm not really sure, I have a few"

The silence grew as we both sat besides each other just listening to the song

She's in my dreams awake or sleeping upon on my knees to her I'm creeping my very life is in her keeping

As the song faded the air grew a bit colder so I wrapped my jacket around her then I slowly stood up walking back to the house.