It's A Love Hate Thing

Chapter 55: Killing me softly with her song

The ride had finally come to a stop and my daughter and niece went off running about. Remember my wife asked me to speak to her I walked back to the house waiting until I only heard her voice before I stepped foot in it.

"Yes?"

"I want you to hear this song I just released."

"Alright, go ahead and play it I'm listening."

the slow piano caught my attention I began to wonder where the song was going from there , it wasn't a happy song and it seemed like it was sad.

We said we try again but trying's not enough acting like strangers ain't no way of making love

Wait a minute... was this for me... or directed towards me?

It's never gonna work it's time we stop pretending , it's time to turn the page all stories need an ending

In shock that I couldn't ignore the words piercing my heart as I continued to listen to her song I began to see and feel a pain I never felt but it wasn't my own pain it was her pain I began to see it more clear. She was good at holding things back but when she went to her music she let it out.

So I'm begging you heart don't change my mind heart be strong this time to help me tell him goodbye

My son told me she had been in the studio more often but I didn't see this coming.

"It's beautiful."

I looked away wiping the tears falling down my cheek I know she seen me , should I care? I was vulnerable when it came to Diana and she knew that but I'm not sure she knew the depth of that vulnerability.

"Thank you. The next time you piss me off or hurt me I'll make another one just like it."

Before I could say a word back to her she looked at me in my eyes, I looked back into her's a bit confused on how I hurt her. I guess I was blind to my own mistakes at times but none the less she would definitely make sure I knew of it.

"I- I don't mean to hurt you Diane."

"Diana & I know Michael but you do."

Did she really have to correct me we both knew her name is Diane but she insists on being called Diana

"I'm sorry. I truly don't mean too."

I watched as she hid her face from me I could see a tear trickle down her cheek down to her chin slowly falling down on her shirt, that was a tear I caused is all I could think about.
I love her but yet I make her cry what kind of love am I really giving her .... love ... did I know what the meaning of the word truly contained...? Did it have a meaning? , whatever it meant I knew it had no meaning before her , she came into my life and gave love a whole new meaning it was no longer pain but happiness and joy no matter the heart ships we'd go through.

"Did you understand the words?"

"Yes very clearly."

Almost letting out a chuckle of anxiousness I looked away thinking back to the time I wrote similar types of songs
Much too soon, I'm so blue, I just can't stop loving you, Who is it, Give into me...
the list goes on , thinking to myself I knew I wasn't the only man to hurt Diane and as much as she try's to act like her past doesn't affect her I can tell on her bad days that it all comes rushing back in but yet it always seems to start with me bashing her ... It killed me to know this , perhaps it always would , maybe her sister's were right , I'm no good for her.

"Snap out of it Michael"

"Huh" I'm guessing that's my conscious

"People are always going to have an opinion."

Tell me something I don't know ....
I couldn't fight with her sisters they won every single battle...

"That's true but you still got her."

Yeah for how long... I know those lies are starting to get to her, hell I don't blame her.

"Go get some rest Michael"

I'm not tired physically but emotionally I've reached my capacity.

"Show her what you see."

I think a part of her see's it but refuses to believe it, before my conscious could interrupt my phone began to rang I quickly answered it praying to god that it wasn't another ghost from my past.

"Hello"

"Michael"

"Yes?"

"It's Selena , I need to tell you something my sister said."

"Can it wait until the morning..?"

"No."

"What is it? Which sister?"

"Diana."

"What did my wife say?"

"Well it's not really my place to tell you this but I'm gonna tell you because we're friends."

Friends... eh that wasn't a word I was very found of and that isn't a word I'd use to explain our relationship.

"I don't wanna hear it."

"But-."

"Goodnight."

I didn't trust either of them , the closer I decided to get myself to them the more trouble came into my life. My phone buzzed, it was a text message from Selena, could she not tell I didn't want to be bothered.

Michael listen I know you love Diana but she's not treating you right and my sister your friend bey really likes you

Bey... bey was my friend or I thought she was until she decided to hurt my wife's feelings a couple days ago... her miscarriages were mentioned I got numb she got numb and almost left me I'll never forget getting on my knees pleading and begging for my wife to stay with me , humiliated just thinking about it a little bit but that was just me being prideful.. I wasn't humiliated to show her how much I love her.

I replied to her after hesitating

No thank you, I love my wife & you saying this to me doesn't really show me you care much about your friendship or relationship as sisters.

I watched as she started typing

Michael I'm just saving you from getting hurt because she said she was going to replace you.

She said that before and I forgave her but just thinking of that made my rage grow , a sharp stabbing pain from my chest caught my attention, calm down is what my body was telling me. They wanted to tare us apart slowly it felt like they were succeeding.... I chose not to believe the lies she continued to write.
My wife walked into the room silently then laid down turning her body from me slowly falling asleep it hurt but I rather not make more of a issue out of it , as I fell asleep I only had one thing on my mind. More of a question I was asking myself.

How long was forever going to be..?