Deal With Chaos #ProjectNigeria

Chapter 50

I think I want to fall in love with you
I want the light to crack in like a wink
Want to feel your laugh against my cheeks
The comfort of what could be

I think I want to be shy with you
Wonder about love and it's possibilities
Wonder of how you see me
Wonder if you think of me

First dates, first touch, and that awkward bump
Would you throw your head back in laughter
Or would it shine in  your eyes
Would you try to kiss me
Or is my forehead the place where your lips would meet

I want to you to say my name
Not like you're used to
But like you want to, a little low , a little breathy.
I want you to see me,
See what I could be
Eyes dark and needy, neck arched and aching
With my eyes I'd beg, for you to take me

Would you?
Take me?
Would you?
Want to fall for me?

I think I'm funny
I promise I'd make you laugh
But I'm better when I'm quiet
When all I have is love
Love I'm aching to give
Love that you probably wouldn't receive

Have you seen your eyes
When you stare at me?
I don't know what goes on
But I want to be whoever you see

I stare at my reflection
And I see you.
I see what we could be
There's a thin line between love and obsession.
I worry I'm crossing into the latter.

*****
Vanessa

When it comes to shitty weeks, Nessa's  week would smell the worst.
She had become overwhelmed with hate and regret.
She had become wary of the looks of distrust shared amongst her friends.
They had blamed her for Toyosi finding out about Kayla's past and so had ostracized her in return.

All that she could bear.
All that she could carry.

But it looked like Sam's silence was what would destroy her.

Nessa supposed she was being pathetic.
Nessa knew she was doing the most.
But Nessa didn't know what else she could do.

Her heart seemed to be beating anticipation, also in fear.
A part of her knew what was bound to happen.
An expected end.
The eventual ruin.

It had just finished raining and so a puddle of water caught her eye just in front of her.

Nessa bent down and stared at herself through the watery reflection.

However, she could not recognize herself.
Could not understand who she was anymore.

Love did change people.

The sound of gates opening had her standing back up.
The black car drove in, the tinted glass glinting in response to the sun.

Nessa held her breath, as his black shoes stepped out from the car.

Nessa lost her breath when he stepped out of the car.

It was funny how the most beautiful people could inflict the most pain.
How they could create so much ugliness.

Samuel Adams stood and leaned against the car, the sun shone upon, giving him an almost ethereal glow to his form.