the boys next door

part 16

i woke up and got dressed and went down stairs and made a cup of tea and scrolled though my phone. i still had a head ache. no please no i said to my self.

i got up and walked to the boys house and knocked on the door. Luke pulled the door open and stopped still. he scratched the back of his head and  said "hey " awkwardly. i just rapped my arms around him and i felt his go instantly around my waist and his head rested on top of mine. we stayed like that enjoying each other company

'i thought i had lost you"Luke said as he fiddled with my hair.

'you will never lose me"i said and we separated 

"promise"Luke said and held out his pinky. i concerted are pinkys.

"promise"i said and pecked his lips. "I'm sorry i just over acted and i was tried and hungover  and"

"can we just forget about it please "he said and i nodded my head and walked in to his house. as i walked in i slightly bumped in to the door and looked down at my arm witch hand already started to bruise up. god please no be fine be better. i cant face being ill again , I'm not Strong enough.i tried to push the though in to the back of my mind. i was probably over reacting. at the end of the day it felt like my head was going to explode. i probably need sleep, ill be fine in the morning, well that's what i hope. i did not want to tell Luke make him worried, but i need to tell someone.

"um beau can i talk to you"i said and he nodded and we walked out of the house.

"whats up" he said and i felt tears in the back of my eyes.

" I'm , I'm"i swallowed down the tears so i could talk. "I'm getting head aches again" i managed to say. beau pulled me in to his embrace.

" it might not be it, it might be just a head ache"he said but i could feel it, its only a matter of time before i go.

"I'm to weak to go throw more operation I'm, I'm not going to make it"i cryed more in to beaus shoulder

"never say that rachie never say that you can beat this and tick it off your bucket list" we stayed in silence for a while"when are you going to tell Luke "

"I'm not"

"you have too"

"i don't want him to worry please don't tell him"i said and now beau was crying

" he is going to start to notice the colour going from your face and that you keep going to the hospital and that you don't see him as much' he had started to raise his voice.

"yer well maybe we should brake up"i shouted at beau and he just looked shocked.

"that will kill him you cant really want that"

'i just don't want to hurt everybody around me"

"well I'm sorry because your stuck with us and were going to help you though this and you are not going hurt us or dump Luke, don't worry about us were big boys"he said witch made my laugh"you need to go to the hospital find out if its something to worry about"

" no i don't want to find out'

"so you don't want to get better"beau snapped back at me "if you don't do it for your self do it for me, do it for Luke "i nodded "okay we go tommorrow just me and you don't tell anyone okay"he said and i hugged him and walked home. 

i was greeted by alfie jumping up and down. i decided i needed to take my mind off things so i took him out side and played with him. we had not had much bonding time because of Luke and the hospital but he was the cuted dog ever.

"hey sis"Matt said as he walked in to the garden

"hey come here "i said and he sat next to me. the dog had fallen asleep on my lap and i got matt to take pictures of me and i posted it on twitter. me and Matt chatted about school and life and mum and dad.

'I'm so happy to see you finally getting better'he said and i just nodded beouce i knew i was not better. what will life be like with out me.that did not help my head ache and i had more bruses over me. i started getting them really easily. and i was getting more and more sleepy as the day went out. i had more pills and slept till 10 the next morning. i put on shorts and a crop top with a checkered top. beau picked me up at 11 and we drove down to the hospital. 

i saw the same doctor as last time and he took ly blood and my heart beat. i had to have a scan for cancer cells. the doctor sat us down and started looking though his notes. i was shaking like a leaf beau looked at me and took my hand and gave me a reasuring smile.

"would you like to know the good news or the bad news first"  the doctor said and me and beau looked at each other.