i sat there deciding what i wanted to here the most. the bad news to get it over and done with . or the good news first so i get some hope then the bad news might not seem so bad or it will tear me apart.
"um the bad news' beau looked at me confused.i just wanted to get it over and done with.
' well your cancer has grown, but not in the kidney" tears welled up in my eyes. here we go again with the injections and the drips " its in your lungs, but its small, if we acts before it can spread you will be fine. you will be able to breath until it spreads to both lungs witch we will not let happen, but you can keep living a normal life but you must not miss your pills like last time and if anything changes you come straight to me ' i lent forward in to my hands. not again, why again. it felt like i had rewind back to last time and the bad memory's and the pain came flooding back to me.ii looked up a the doctor after a while
'so, what was the good news"
'that your kidney has completely healed and there is no cancer left in it at all, you may leave now."
beau helped me stand because i was so shocked at what happened and sceard.he hugged me as we walked out of the doctors surgery and we got in the car.
"can we not go straight home can we go to the bench'i said and beau nodded and turned a Sharpe corner and we were at the park. i sat in the bench and beau sat next to me. no one was in there because it was so run down.
"why me, why now i thought i was better"i said and beau hugged me
" its not that its tiny '
"its still cancer"i snapped back at him. he just sat there as i cried and cried.
'when are you going to tell Luke "
"i don't know"
'you have to tell him"
"he will worry "
" please tell him"
"when i get worse, theres not much going on right now and i don't want him to worry, stop his whole life for me. its for the best "
"rachie this is cancer'
"well you said its was a tiny thing a minuet ago so why are you making such a big deal out of it"
" rachie i don't want to lose you"he said and a tear rolled down his cheak.
"I'm sorry for snapping, I'm scared beau I'm really scared and i don't want to go'i said and he hugged me.
"don't think like that please, you will get though this but you have to tell Luke " my phone went off and speaking of the devil i had a text from luke
luke- hey babe i went to your house but you were not there hope your okayxx also i have something big to tell you!!!!xxxx
"Luke wants to tell me some thing"i said and beau nodded "I'm going to go home and shower and ill see you in an hour. beau drove me home and i got in the shower. i got in to warmer stuff and went over to the boys house. Luke opened the door and hugged me
"hey babe, your hairs wet"
"yes because i had a shower" he laughed and let me in and sat me down.
"okay here's the big news the janoskians are going on a world tour " we both started freaking out
"omg I'm so proud of you'
"its going to be great were going to sing and be able to see the world baby"he hugged me and span me around
"I'm so excited"i said and he started singing real girls eat cake really loud and all the other boys joined in and in the end we were all dancing around the kitchen. i was really excited i was but i just kept thinking about my lungs i had to tell Luke, but i don't want him stopping the tour or refusing to go because of me.
" hey you okay"Luke said and i nodded "just tired"i said and hugged him
"hey your coming with us and your coming on stage and singing, i want you to be a part of this"
" yer I'm coming"i said and he smiled and kissed me
"okay guys calm down and no sex on the tour bus" skip shouted and we all laughed
"i cant promise that" Luke said and tickled me. god i loved him.
"beau i need to talk to you"i said and we stood out in there garden.
"i need to tell luke but im scared that he will want to cancel the tour or refuse to go i just dont want him to stop what he loves" i said and beau hugged me
"you need to tell him but tell him its not bad and the medicine will help but you must tell him soon we go on tour in a month" he kissed my head and we walked back in side.I'm going to tell him tomorrow i need to. i went home and took my pills. omg i still have not told my family. how am i going to tell them. it was only 3 oclock so i could tell mum that i was feeling bad again and she took me to the doctors and he told her the same thing and she just cried. she cried in the car all the way home. she cried telling the rest of the family.Matt started crying and shouting "its not fair"he shouted and ran down to the river at the end of his garden. dad just sat there in shock and mum just kept telling me how strong i was but i did not feel strong.
i went to bed with the dog snuggled up to me. i don't know how I'm going to tell Luke. i cant take him to the doctors. I'm going tp have to tell him face to face.
i grabbed my phone in a panic and called beau
"beau i cant tell him i cant it was hard enough telling my family i don't know how to tell him"i shouted down the phone
"rachie calm down if you want i could tell him"
'" no i said i need to tell him now"
"what at 8 in the after noon"
"i need to tell him i wont be able to sleep I'm coming over"i said and walked down the stairs i put on a jumper and held back tears as i walked a couple of doors down until i got to theres. i knocked on the door and Luke opened it
"your so random why now why not tomorrow"
"no Luke this is important i need to tell you now but not here"he nodded and in laced are fingers and it was still light because it was summer. we walked to the park and sat on the same bench i sat with beau.
"Luke this is going to be hard for me to say so just give me time"
"okay "he said and i took his hand
"today i went to the doctors because i was getting head aches and i kept bruising" i swallowed down the tears and carried on. " my kidney has completely healed now but its its spread" i saw Luke's face drop and tears built in his eyes
" how far"he said and a tear rolled down his face and he whipped it away quickly.
"its okay to cry"
"no i must stay strong for you for us"
"its in my lung only a little the pills should fight it off but if it spread i don't think i could go on"
"don't talk like that don't you dear'
"the doctor said i need to live a normal life and i will be fine i just need to take my pills and sleep, so that means you don't stop your life for me okay you have to promise"
Luke looked at the floor and fiddled with his fingers
"but what if your in hospital what if you need me "
" okay if I'm in hospital you can see me but only if it gets bad but i will need you to promise" he nodded his head "i promise" he kissed me and i rapped my arms around him. im going to miss him.
we walked back to his house in silence. i wanted to stay at there house with luke. we sat on the sofa and spooned. luke played with my hair and tickled my arms.
"i love you no matter what okay, even if your hair falls out and your in a hopital bed, i will always love you" that made me want to cry even more. ineed to stay strong for him and i will get though this
DU LÄSER
the boys next door
Fanfictionwhen Rachel moved away from her best friends she was heart broken. she was not a popular kid at her old school and was so happy when a couple years later she moved back, but would it be the same. peoples feelings have changed for each other and she...
