𝑊ℎ𝑦 𝐶𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝐼

T e n

(Song: Love You Goodbye by One Direction)
(Cole's POV)

I get home, closing the door and lean against it. I still can't understand everything that happened today.

"Shit!" I shout, opening the door and running back to my car realizing, I forgot to meet Mike.

I go way past the speed limit, trying to get there fast. I skipped my last class so Mike is probably just getting out of his. "You're a moron, I hope you know that," Rojo says. He's been pretty quiet lately, I don't know why.

"You let me leave knowing damn well I had to meet Mike!" I say, speeding up.

"Eh I just wanted to see how this would go."

"You suck, bird." I turn into the school, turning off the car.

"Hey look it's fairy boy," Rojo says. I follow his eyes and am met with Sam sitting on a bench with his face resting in his hand, staring at the ground.

"Should I go over there?" I ask Rojo.

"And do what, make him feel worse? Look I'm all for making people cry but I think he had enough today," He says, looking at me with worried eyes, as if I'm going to go over there and yell at Sam.

"No, what? that's not what I meant. I just, maybe I can try and tell him to leave me alone in a nicer way."

"Cole I know you better than anyone so I know that whatever comes out of your mouth is not going to help the poor boy." Wow Rojo actually cares, that's something I've never seen.

"Why do you care?" I ask.

"I don't know, okay, he just seems different. I feel bad for him, he seemed so excited to be friends and then you go and be a dick," he says, looking at Sam. Sam obviously can feel someone's looking at him and looks up, meeting my eyes.

But this time it's different, it's not that warm and happy summery glow in his eyes, its feels as if you set up a picnic and then it started raining all over you and the food, and the entire sky went stormy.

I look away and start walking towards him, not being able to look in his eyes knowing I caused them to be so gray. "Hey," I say and sit next to him.

"Hi," Sam says so quietly I can barely hear him.

"I just wanted to tell you that the way I treated you earlier was so wrong, I definitely shouldn't have said that. I just, I don't know this has all been a lot for me and I don't think I'm ready or want new friends. It has nothing to do with you, I promise, you're amazing and I had so much fun talking to you and you definitely aren't clingy... well, maybe, but in the best way possible, I actually found it cute how you were at the party. So yeah," I tell him, trying to say it as nice as possible, not wanting to hurt him more.

"I- Okay," He says, giving me a small smile that I can see right through.

"Sunshine please, I need you to know it's not your fault, all that stuff I said earlier wasn't true at all," I say. I can feel my walls crumbling down and I know I need to re-build them but I just can't, not when the person who is the definition of happiness is sitting in front of me, looking broken from words my selfish self said.

"I'm sorry, I let things get to me, okay? I'm sensitive," He says, wiping his eyes. I grab his wrists.

"Well don't let this, okay? Trust me, I'm doing you a favor, you don't want me in your life. okay? I know I went about it completely wrong, I'm so sorry for what I said to you Sunshine." Holy shit I actually said it, I said I'm sorry, those words have always been so hard for me. I actually said them... Wow.