Get You // Jenlisa

twenty three

JENNIE'S POV

"I promised myself I'll wait for you," he says, his hand caressing my cheek.

I flinched, backing away a little.

He winced when I backed away, suddenly making me feel guilty.

I used to crave for his touch, his attention, like what he is giving me right now. But things changed, like what I feel for him.

I don't even know how it went from that to this. That him being this close makes me want to take a step back, which obviously offended him in some way.

Biting my lip, I tried to smile casually, "I-I told you before that you don't have to, right? That I'm not ready..." I reminded him.

"I know, but you also told me that you like me," he smiled again, "So I promised myself I'll hold on to your words. And I'll wait until you're ready, as long as you get to be mine alone," his hand found mine, bringing it to his lips as he stared at me lovingly.

Mine alone? I liked the words coming from Lisa better. Lisa, Lisa. Why do I keep thinking about her on times like this?

"Kai..."

How do I tell him to stop, because I don't want him to wait for nothing? That my words were no longer valid, because he's... he's not her.

And it wasn't his fault that all I can think about at this moment is Lisa. I don't want to be unfair with him when I know in myself that it's not him that's running on my mind all the time.

She invaded my mind in ways he never did, much, much worse than I thought he did.

"Yeah?" he said, his smile still planted on my skin.

I looked down, my hand slowly falling on my sides as I felt him tense up.

"Jennie, what's wrong?" he took a step closer, his hands now on my waist.

I fought the urge to step back again and hurt him any more.

"Kai..." I grasped for air before I got the courage to look back on his eyes again, "You don't have to wait for me."

A small frown appeared on his lips, "Don't worry about me Jennie. You can take your time. I'll wait for you."

I shook my head, "No, no, Kai-"

"I'm not making you feel rushed, or are you? 'Coz, I swear Jen if you do, I'll try my best to slow things down."

"No it's not that-"

"I'll do everything for you-"

"But I don't want that!" I cut him off desperately, feeling so sorry in my voice as I struggled to explain things to him. I tried not to get affected with the shocked and pained expression on his face as I stared directly at him, "I don't want you to, Kai, I don't deserve you. You deserve someone who can make you feel loved, who truly wants to be with you..."

"But..." his eyes went unsteady, looking all around me as he tried to study my face, looking unconvinced, until those eyes darkened, "Is.. is there someone else?"

"It doesn't matter," I swallowed hard and looked away.

"Of course it does!" he said with pleading eyes, "Who is he? Jen, Jen I swear I'll treat you better than he will," he caught my hands as his eyes teared up, "I've been here for you for so long, and I'm willing to stay for as long as I can. How can you be sure he'll do the same for you?!"

I can only hope.

God knows how I want her to stay around much longer than he did, but it wouldn't entirely depend on me.