When The Boys Are Away

Part 27

When Harlow awoke a few hours later, she struggled to get her bearings, only faintly recognising the outline of Tommy's bedroom through her fuzzy eyesight. She felt a warm hand on hers as she noticed Tommy staring sadly from the seat beside the bed.

The last thing she remembered was Tommy carrying her up the stairs, before she passed out due to the intense tearing sensation from within her body. Polly had ushered her brother and boyfriend from the room very reluctantly, and instead dragged in Lizzie and Ada after the confrontation just moments before.

"How are you feeling?" He asked gently, leaning towards the bed as she slid herself up against the headboard and rested her head backwards. She could feel that something was off, and the look in Tommy's eyes told her something was wrong.

"Okay, I guess. What happened Tommy?" The voice was faint, and she coughed lightly to brighten it up. When she looked down, Harlow realised she was no longer wearing her dress, but one of Polly's thick robes which were only pulled out on the coldest of winter nights. She felt the hand tighten against hers and she stared at him anxiously, not at all ready for the words about to come out of his mouth.

"Polly said you had a miscarriage." Her mouth dropped open in disbelief as she searched his face for any sign of a joke. However, his expression held nothing but worry and sorrow.

Harlow felt tears well up in her eyes as she struggled to respond, "But, I didn't even know I was pregnant. We were going to have a baby?" Her voice wavered as confusion, guilt and distraught ran through her head. When she thought about it, the situation made some sense; of course her and Tommy had been intimate, and she had missed a period or two.

As a small sob escaped her mouth, Tommy felt his heart break at the sight and hastily pulled her into his chest, trying to engulf her from the cruel reality. Her arms slowly wrapped around his neck and she cried against him. She didn't feel like the strong, young woman she made herself out to be; she felt like a little girl who wanted to run away from all of her problems and never look back.

"I'm so sorry." Harlow whispered against his ear and Tommy stroked her back comfortingly, "Don't you dare blame yourself darling." His deep, powerful voice sounded half shattered, he didn't even attempt to restore his hard persona, it was completely unnecessary in front of Harlow.

Tommy felt no negative feelings at all towards his trembling girlfriend, instead he blamed himself and the two horrid men who had marched back into their lives. Polly said that it could have been the stress that caused it, but she could never be sure.

All the thoughts invaded his mind; why didn't he take more notice? Why didn't he support her more? If he had just paid more attention, maybe this would never have happened. It was all ridiculous of course, but he couldn't help but overthink every possibility. Because that's what Thomas Shelby did best; think.

When she finally pulled back with a tear stained face, he noticed how exhausted she looked, "Try to get some sleep sweetheart." He stroked her hair away from her eyes as she cautiously laid back down onto the mattress, her hands clasped together against her chest. "Will you stay? Please." She murmured tiredly as he removed his jacket, placing it down on the chair next to him.

"Of course my love." He carefully slid into his bed beside her, cuddling her small figure against his. He hoped that when he awakened, this would all have been a bad dream; his father would've never appeared, Harlow would still have the baby and all the pain would have vanished. No chance.

******

Surprisingly, the next day when Harlow woke up, Tommy was still fast asleep beside her, his soft snores making a small smile appear on her face. The dazzling beam of sun from the curtains striped perfectly along his jawline, enhancing it even more than usual. He looked peaceful and happy, something that was rare for Thomas Shelby.

Harlow carefully pressed a faint kiss to his cheek before sliding off the end of the bed. The floorboards felt chilling on her bare feet as she wriggled her toes, but it was worth it as the harsh aches left her body through a few stretches. The once unbearable pain had subsided, and only a faint sting remained in her stomach as she moved down the stairs.

The house was eerily silent. Usually you couldn't even hear yourself think in the Shelby household. It was nice for a change.

Harlow drifted through to the kitchen, noticing that it was only six in the morning, meaning that people wouldn't be appearing for at least another hour, when responsible wives shoved their tired husbands out to work and the playful kids went running down the street, releasing all their energy before they were trapped in school for the day.

She slowly placed the kettle on the stove, desperate for a cup of tea to warm her insides. Her stomach rumbled lightly as Harlow pulled out some bread and jam, feeling the need to eat something to fill the hole. Deep in thought, she didn't even notice Ada step through the doorway and almost dropped her cup as she saw the figure move unexpectedly.

"Sorry," Ada smiled softly, moving over to grab some tea, "I didn't mean to scare you." Harlow laughed, shaking her head as she plopped down onto sofa beside the table, "It's fine, don't worry."

The two remained in a comfortable silence as Ada went about buttering some toast before she finally found the courage to address the elephant in the room, "Polly told us what happened. I'm so sorry Harlow." She sighed, sitting down opposite her best friend sadly whilst biting down on her food.

"I guess it can't be helped." Harlow shrugged, trying not to think too much on the touchy subject, and instead found something else to discuss, "We're going wedding dress shopping today for Lizzie, aren't we?" 

Ada furrowed her narrow brows as she stared over at Harlow, uncertainty littering her blue eyes, "Are you sure you feel up for it? I know Lizzie would understand." 

Harlow only shook her head in defence, continuously reassuring that she was perfectly able to go shopping, especially since the trio had been looking forward to it for months now. 

Although Harlow hadn't even realised that she was carrying a child, she still felt like a part of her was missing and that was something that she would never get back.

******

"That's the one Lizzie." Harlow gasped as she watched her friend parade out from the changing room in a beautiful, lace dress which pinched at her waist and fell gracefully around her long legs. Lizzie was a gorgeous woman, and she didn't even realise it.

"It's stunning." Ada grinned, clapping her hands together excitedly after placing her glass of champagne on the table beside her. The store assistant stood proudly at a distance as the trio decided on the fifth gown Lizzie had tried. It wasn't too puffy, or too conservative; like Ada had critiqued the others. It was perfect, and everyone knew it.

Lizzie gazed at herself in the mirror in awe, hardly recognising herself in such sophisticated attire. A large smile fell upon her face as she twirled around, watching as the material flowed out in a perfect circle. 

"I love it." 

The season finale was the most amazing, heart-breaking, frustrating hour of my life.