𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 | 𝘱. 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘯

• 𝘪𝘪 - 𝘱𝘰𝘦

• p. dameron •

I HOPE MY LAST LETTER FOUND YOU WELL. I feel bad about the last time we spoke in person. It seems like that was forever ago. Maybe I'll come home soon and see you. If I get the chance, I'll definitely try. But, I doubt I'll catch a break like that until I'm a graduated pilot. I hope I'll get to see you sooner rather than later. I get to work with Han. You remember him, right? He doesn't play favorites like you said he would. Lucky me, right? He's my ranking officer. I'm pretty excited to see where my career goes from here. I'll send you another letter as soon as I can.
     — Poe Dameron.
p.s. I love you, Dad.

The last time Dad and I spoke in person, we were fighting. He didn't want me to become a pilot. He said it would change me for the worst. I know that he was lying. I know his tell. Just like he knows mine. Everyone has a tell. When I lie, I chew on my cheek or my lip. Sometimes even my thumbnail. But my father's is much more subtle. He clears his throat and then scratches his left eyebrow. I never really caught on until a couple years after my mother died. It was our first fight. We were both grieving. We were both angry. And he didn't want to lose his son to a death similar to that of his wife's. Yet, I'm still here because I know it owe it to her. I've wanted this for forever. He knows that. He knows that I need this. But he also needs a son who can live on and fulfill his mother's dying wishes—Stay brave. Don't back down in the face of danger, unless death is a high risk in said scenario. And finally... find the right girl. If I find the right girl, our family like goes on. But finding a girl is the last of my concerns right now.

"Is that all you idiots can do?" Someone behind me asks.

I spin around, spotting someone standing behind me, their hands on their hips.

"Excuse me? I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly." I say.

I lift my head, looking up at the owner of the voice. It's a girl—blonde, tanned, bitchy. She cocks an eyebrow and crosses her arms before blowing a strand of hair out of her face with her mouth.

"I said is that all you idiots can do? You're the hotshot flyboy with a good score and yet you waste your precious time writing 'heartfelt' notes to your parents?" She asks.

I cock an eyebrow, tilting my head.

"What, am I offending you?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "No," She says.

"Is there a law against writing letters to loved ones during free time?" I ask.

She shakes her head again.

"No, but—" I stop her.

"Then back off!" I shout. "You don't have a say in what I do with my free time so step off."

She groans, grabbing one letter off of my bed. She looks at it and scoffs.

"What is it now? Is there something wrong with being a good son? I promised my Father that I'd write him." I say.

She shakes her head, tossing the letter back down onto the bed.

"Han gives us over two hours of free time a night and you waste it sorting your family photo album and writing letters to your father! Yes, there is something wrong. That is a waste." She says.

I stand, glaring at her.

"Who do you think you are? You don't know me! You have no idea who I am. You don't know my past. You don't know my dreams. You have no idea what expectations I have to live up to. I hadn't planned on telling anyone who I was, but if it makes you shut up, I'd be happy to share." I say. "I'm the son of Shara Bey and Kes Dameron. I am the son of two of General Organa's most trusted soldiers. I have to live up the expectations that I can fill their shoes. And I never will. So please, just shut up, and leave me alone."

I spin around, spotting Han standing in the doorway. He looks angry. He crosses his arms.

"Sergeant Solo, Sir." I say.

He bites his lip and sighs before uncrossing his arms and approaching us.

"Dameron, Kun, my office. Now." He says.

I nod, exiting the dorms. I walk to his office.

"Oh, look at what you've done now? You got us is trouble." She says.

I roll my eyes, shaking my head. I'm not talking to her until absolutely necessary. We enter Han's office and sit in the two chairs placed in front of his desk. He enters the office behind us and closes the door. He slowly walks to his chair, his hands clasped together behind his back.

"Are either of you going to tell me what happened in there or am I going to have to ask your colleagues?" He asks.

"I'll tell you, Sir." Karé says.

Han cocks an eyebrow.

"Private Kun, if you tell me the events of your time in the dorms, will I get the same story from Private Dameron?"

Karé nods. Han turns his head, sighing.

"Private Dameron, you can wait out in the hall. I'll call you back in later." He says.

I nod, stepping out into the Hall. I lean against the wall, sighing out sharply. I wait for what feels like forever to explain a small story. Suddenly, the door opens and Han is escorting Karé back into the Hall.

"Private Dameron, your turn." He says.

I nod. I swallow the lump in my throat and follow him into the office. He closes the door behind me.

"Start talking." He says sharply.

He's mad. He's angry. Why is he mad? Is he mad at me? Why is he mad at me?

"I was writing a letter to my father during our free time. And while I was working, Ka—Private Kun mocked me for writing to my father. She told me that I was wasting my precious time." I say.

He nods. He reaches into a drawer and returns with an envelope. My envelope. I cock an eyebrow.

"We aren't sending letters, Poe. You only have a couple weeks until you're done with your first stage of training and then you can start to send letters. But, until you finish stage one, we don't send the letters." He says.

Now I'm angry. How could he do this to his friend? My father and Han were friends. Han knows the agony my father goes through every day. How could he withhold my letters?

"How could you do this to him? You know how much he is hurting because of my choice to even become a pilot." I say.

He nods. He sighs.

"It isn't my choice, Poe. We will send your letters when you start stage two. I promise." He says.

I stand from my seat, staring down at him with anger. My cheeks feel hot.

"Han, you can take that promise and shove it up your ass." I say.

I approach the door, but he stops me.

"You don't get to talk to me like that, Private. You need to calm down. This isn't my choice. One day, you'll understand." He says.

I sigh, shaking my head.

"I promised him that I would write. He's probably worried to death." I say.

He nods.

"I will call him and explain. I will make sure that he knows that this is all my fault. I promise." He says.

I nod.

"Thank you, Han." I say.

He nods, smiling.

"Of course, Poe. I have to look out for you or your Father would come back just to kill me." He says. "Your father may be a medicine man now, but he always was the best shot in the Resistance."