FIVE YEARS AGO, I was sent on a mission that would change my life forever. Little did I know, it would end it as well...
As a Trainee in the Aviation program, Poe Dameron comes from a broken family. His mother died when he was Eight, his Father brok...
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POE PROMISED ME THAT HE WOULD TRY HIS HARDEST TO NOT DIE, although I feel some sort of fear that I'm still going to lose him. I can't lose him. We made a promise. No dying. He hasn't to keep his promise. — Elyse Organa-Solo
I stand in the Med-bay, watching as patients enter and leave the emergency department. I wear my pilot's gear in case I need to run for a med check on another pilot in the field. My mind wanders to Poe again, thinking of him alone out there on some planet in the middle of the Galaxy, watching the sky, hopefully to make sure that Ben doesn't appear in the night. I hear the doors open and the click of heeled boots—my mother. Marlene and Piper approach me, their eyes staring me down. I spin around, spotting my mother approaching us, her hands wrapped tightly in one another.
"Hi, Mom," I say, looking back down at my clipboard.
She reaches up, grabs the clipboard from me, and sets it on the counter. She reaches forward, grabbing my hands.
"We need to talk." She says, squeezing my hands.
I raise an eyebrow, looking at her seriously. Her eyes are somber and sad. Something has happened.
"Mom?" I ask, looking down at her. "What's wrong? What happened?"
She sighs out sharply, looking up at me with bright eyes.
"Something happened to Poe," She says.
My heart stops in my chest and the world slows down. My mind is screaming questions I have yet to ask her... What? What happened to him? Is he's alright? Where is he?
"What happened?" I ask, slowly and cautiously, trying to ease my anxieties.
Maybe Poe's alright. We never know. Maybe he got another burn that I'll have to treat, but otherwise, he's entirely fine. Or maybe he's not. Maybe something serious happened and she's here to tell me the truth.
"There was an attack on a village he was visiting. The entire village was destroyed. Every villager was murdered. The village was burnt to the ground. We got a report that his X-Wing was blown up on Jakku." She says. "Nothing could've survived this kind of damage."
The world grows quiet as I envision the village... the village from my dreams. The flames soaring higher and higher into the night sky, swallowing the remnants of the small huts. The villagers' corpses being cremated where they lay. Poe dying as dozens of villagers watch in horror. My eyes burn as tears spill onto my cheeks. I try to stifle my pain, bury it deep down in my chest, but cannot any longer. I've stifled away too much. The loss of Poe should be vocalized. He deserves it. A sob escapes my lips, echoing through the hall. Marlene and Piper grab my arms, linking their's with my own. I crumple to the ground, fallen to my knees, more sobs escaping my mouth. I cover my face with my hands, searing white pain spreading through every limb as I practically suffocate myself. Eyes shift to me. The eyes of other Doctors. The eyes of patients and their family members, the eyes of passerby's in the adjacent hallway. They all watch me. I pull myself up off of the floor, standing. I walk from the Med-Bay, my arms wrapped around myself as I walk to my apartment. I can hear my mother following me, the click of her heels obvious. I push the door open, fumbling with the zipper of my orange jumpsuit to remove it. My mother's arms wrap around me, holding me tightly as I cry. I scream out all of my pain and anguish in the privacy of my apartment. If I wanted to, I could walk just down the hall and take a right to find the hall where Poe's apartment is. I sob into my mother's arms, agony taking over my body.
"I begged him not to go," I cry out, trembling in her arms. "I plead with him to stay and be safe."
She nods, shushing me gently.
"I know, Elyse." She says. "I know."
She holds me until I go quiet, just standing in her hold, breathing in and out. She releases me, allowing me to walk freely. I remove my orange jumpsuit, stepping into my closet. I pull on a white tank top. Then a thin tan button down. I grab a pair of black pants, pulling them on before stepping into the bathroom.
"Elyse, where are you going?" My mother asks softly.
I pull on my boots, pulling my hair into a messy bun.
"To find him. If he really is dead, he at least deserves a proper burial." I say. "You said his ship blew up on Jakku, so that's where I'm going."
She takes my face in her hands, looking up at me.
"He loved you very much, Elyse." She whispers, brushing my hair out of my eyes. "Poe loved you very much."
I nod, squeezing her hand.
"And I loved him too, Mom." I say. "I have to go."
She nods. Poe Dameron was the best pilot the Resistance has seen in years. He was smart, cunning, and bold, just like his mother. He always did was necessary, no matter how dangerous the task may be. People made jokes about when he died, they wouldn't refer to him as Poe. They would refer to him as the walking roadmap... But nobody actually expected him to die on a mission. She walks with me to the Hangar, raising an eyebrow.
"Are you sure you want to go?" She asks. "I can send a droid out to search for him."
I nod, approaching my X-Wing, spotting the scratch from Poe's flight suit cuff when he leaned on it sometime in the past few months... I'll cherish that scratch for the rest of my life, most likely. We stand at the base of the ladder, looking back and forth at one another. Snap sits at a table, almost lifeless. He knows about Poe. I furrow my brows and exhale.
"I'm sure, Mom. Poe deserves someone who knew him searching for him, not some scavenger droid." I say. "I'll keep you updated."
She nods, squeezing my hands tightly.
"You better come home. I'm pretty lonely here without you." She says.
I laugh, nodding.
"Of course, Mom." I say. "I'll come back."
My eyes trail to Snap again. He sits at a table with Jess, Karé, and Peter. I purse my lips, looking back at my mother.
"I'll be right back. Wait here." I say.
She nods. I walk in that direction, examining them carefully. The chair where Poe typically sat sits empty and unoccupied, how it will for forevermore.
"Snap," I say, grasping their attention.
They all lift their eyes from the empty chair, looking up at me. Jess' eyes are full of tears and red and puffy. They're taking this very hard—as expected. He was their boss, their commander, their best friend. Poe wasn't just anyone to them... He was everything.
"I'm sorry about your Loss," I say quietly, taking Jess' hand firmly. "I can't imagine the Hell you all are going through right now."
Karé wipes her eyes.
"How are you?" She asks. "It was kind of obvious, Poe was pining for you pretty intensely before he left."
I raise an eyebrow, looking at them, then at the empty chair.
"It's been hard. I wanted to tell him so many things before he left but the time slipped away so fast." I whisper.
They nod, staring back at the chair, everyone gone completely silent.
"I'm going on a mission to find his body and bring him home," I say. "He deserves a proper burial among his colleagues."
Jess sobs out loudly, covering her face. Snap looks up at me from his seat, nodding.
"May the force be with you, Doctor," He says. "And your journey."
I smile slightly, nodding back at him.
"And with you and your endeavors while I'm away." I say.
We say our goodbyes and I return to my mother. She hands me a small blaster, exhaling.
"I know it isn't much, but you have no idea what may be waiting for you on Jakku. A larger blaster is in the cockpit in case you need one. Be careful." She says.
I take the blaster, hugging her before I climb into the cockpit.
"I always am," I say, as I take off and fly away into the night.
