𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘶𝘱...

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MOST STORIES TEND TO DRAW IN AN AUDIENCE WITH A CERTAIN LINE—maybe this will draw you into mine

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MOST STORIES TEND TO DRAW IN AN AUDIENCE WITH A CERTAIN LINE—maybe this will draw you into mine.

My story starts and ends the same way—I came into the world screaming, fighting. I went from being warm to cold in an instant. That is also how I left.

"Shit. There's blood in the central line. I need a crash cart in here now! Someone, call the O.R, let them know we're coming."

Most people don't like to hear that they're dying until it's already too late. If you tell someone that they're dying when they still have months—years to live, it causes a depression to settle in. And then a false hope. Let's be honest—It is better to learn you are going to die when you really are going to die.

"Push two of Epi and get an Ambu bag hooked up, Now!"

If you could know how you were going to go, or when you were going to go, which one would you want to know? Say you're told you'll die in a Plane crash. You never fly again. Problem solved. But say you're told you'll die from a gunshot wound—you'll never know who did it. You'll never know how to stop it. You live every day to the fullest. But, say you're told when you'll die. You immediately know how long you have to live until time's up. If you're told that you have five years to live, you know that it's time to grow some balls and marry the person you love. If you're told you have twenty years, you know that you have time. You can find the person you love. You can marry them. Start a family.

"Where the hell is that Crash cart? I needed it twenty minutes ago!"

I don't like to make things about myself—that's a lie. I do like the occasional bonus or raise. Or promotion. I don't try to make things about me, however. If things shift to me, that's just how stuff runs it's course. I never purposely shift the attention to me. This wasn't my choice—this wound here. The trauma. This pain. All of this was not my choice.

"Come on. Don't do this, Poe. Not now."

I didn't plan to be spending my day on a gurney, getting my heart pumped for me. I didn't plan spending my day on an operating table, trying to save myself. My choice would be this; let me go. I've already caused enough trouble.

"Doctor Organa-Solo is in bound."

"Dammit! You paged Elyse? This is the last thing she needs right now. Marlene, go out there now and distract her while I try and stop this bleeding."

"No! Stay right there. No one is distracting Elyse. She has a right to know. The man she loves is laying filleted on a table, having his girlfriend's best friend pump his heart for him. She has every right to know that he is going to die, Piper. If he dies here, she needs to be with him."

"Get out of this room, now. And you do not approach, talk to, or even look at Elyse or so help me God, I will make sure your career is finished."

Sunsets are my favorite—did you know that? I love sunsets. Some are optimistic. They believe that a Sunset is the Same as a Sunrise, just on the opposite side of the world. They believe a sunrise brings a new dawn—a new day. A new beginning. Yesterday's problems are gone. Move forward. Pessimists, however, believe that Sunsets end the day. They are the end of a life. At the beginning of the day, someone may be alive, but by sunset, that person may be dead. They believe that a Sunset ends a life. I, however, like sunsets—not because I'm a pessimist. But, instead, because they bring stars. The sun hides away for the night and the stars peek out from behind the clouds. Stars. The one thing I've been chasing my whole life. Not a job. Not the Resistance. Not my destiny. Stars.

"Dammit, V-Fib! He's seizing. Give me those paddles and charge to 250."

Are stars something you like to chase? I hope that when I go, my heaven is sunset that fades into the stars. I want the lush trees of a rainforest. I want the soil to stick to my bare feet as I walk through the forest. I want the river to be cool and calm. I want to float down the stream. I want to fall down a waterfall, watching the stars. I don't want to worry about all I'll leave behind but instead all that I'll find.

"Poe?"

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