It's hard to say where this story begins. Or where it ends. Their world is more complex than you could ever imagine, and it's time for the human world to know that. The truth. Well, a truth. One of many. Which leads us to our beginning. A prophecy...
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The sound of Kato's body hitting the stone floor of the passageway reminded me of a sack of potatoes thudding against the hard earth. I slowly reached out my foot and kicked his tiny tushy. I waited for a groan, but it never came. I nonchalantly shrugged my shoulders as I walked back into the library and peered down the long dark alleyway.
A part of me thought about helping him, but I shook it off and went on my way. It was the right decision. Mostly because I say so. I don't have time to babysit the puny human male anyways. I have way more pressing matters. And one of them is looking stunningly gorgeous, making others rage with envy. My intentions here would not be deterred. I've waited far too long for this stupid prophecy to bloom. Hopefully I'll have popcorn.
I made my way down the vacant halls and growled at the nosy vermin that lurked in the corners. I would have thought Morina would dispose of the trash that littered her castle corridors. I made my way to the all too familiar door of the courtyard and stepped out into the cool foreboding darkness that surrounds the castle. I took in the always dying vegetation. "How lively," I whispered to the wind that seemed to swallow my words as they escaped my devilishly handsome mouth.
I smiled at the compliment I gave myself. I truly was the best thing to ever grace this realm. And every other one. How lucky are the few I pester. Oh, what I wouldn't give to meet me! I can only imagine how wonderful I must be!
I huffed as I made my way towards Thana's balcony. I peered up towards the glass window. "Thana," I whispered lowly. There was no response or movement in her chamber. I spun on my heel and began to search for a pebble, and to my amazement my prayers were slightly granted. I picked up the large black rock and tossed it with the utmost force. I admired my brute like strength as the cannonball launched toward the window and the sound of shattering glass crashed to the floor of her chamber. I never skip arm day. I then heard the patter of her small, frail feet slap the floor like raw meat and I began to laugh hysterically.
"Ken, you vile disease!" Thana shouted from her balcony. "How do you manage to magnify my hatred for your undesirable companionship?!"
I clapped at her small-scale slander. I knew deep down that she desired my stunning personality. Everyone did.
"Thana, your charm makes me quiver with the utmost astonishment. Do tell me the secrets of your metallic tongue," I toyed with her gleefully. She thrusted her tallest finger in the air and mouthed the admirable words "fuck you". I swayed like a giddy schoolgirl on her first day.
"What could you possibly want?" Thana asked. "Do you not have anyone else to pull into your misery? There must be someone in this realm that resents you more than I!?
My face melted into a pout, "Thana, if you weren't gay I would propose that you were flirting with me." She twirled around and headed back into her chamber. My face slouched in discouragement. How rude to just leave! No quick witted banter! How unbecoming! Where's the common decency anymore?!
Just then, I saw the large cannonball soaring towards me at the velocity of light as it landed on my foot. I squalled as the pain rose from the tips of my toes and traveled up my legs, "Bloody hell! You could've killed me you psychopath!"
Thana's face slouched in disappointment, "Damn, next time I won't miss." My mouth dropped in pure fondness. A woman after my own heart.
"Can you please tell me why you graced me with your presence, Almighty Ass?" she spat quickly.
"Well, I came to check on you if you must know. Obviously, you are doing well since you are in such a playful mood. I do say you took the news of the pregnancy quite well then?" I taunted.
"How did you know?" she said in disbelief at my all-knowing awesomeness. Damn, I'm good.
"Oh, you poor slow clump of metal. Could you not practically smell the magic brewing in her?" I said playfully.
Thana threw up her arms in aggravation. "I hate everything about you," she muttered as she turned her back to me and reentered her room.
I gasped in horror. "LIES!" I yelled loudly over the quiet space that occupied our distance.
Again, I was alone. But that was okay because I had myself. And to be honest, there's no one better to keep me company. I made my way back to the sidewalk of disaster. God, has no one thought of remodeling this shit hole I thought to myself. Out loud.
I walked for some time when I noticed Morina sitting by the fountain. I almost kept on the path, but as always I never listened to that annoying voice in the back of my mind that told me to do good things. Yuck! After all, I'm not schizophrenic.
I walked over to her and I was hit with a black smoke of power that temporarily sewed my mouth shut. Everyone was being so rude to me today. It's refreshing!
"Before you choke on the very annoying sound of your voice. I must ask you for help," Morina's tone was very serious. I raised an eyebrow in intrigue.
"The prophecy. I will not let this ruin everything. Help me stop it?" she asked with a sense of urgency.
I mean, I don't really want to stop it. But she mustn't know that. The longer I keep these common folk entertained, the more everything will work out. I nodded and bowed half-heartedly. She removed the spell that masked my succulent voice.
"How do you suppose we do it?" I asked genuinely. This should be good, I thought.
She stiffened slightly, "Take me to see my sister."
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Authors Note: This was in my opinion the funniest Chapter so far! What was yours?
