The Fear Of Faith [2]

28. Cal

'I am so so sorry!' Tori cried, her hands pressed together as she looked at me with pleading eyes. 'I swear to you, it looked like her!'

'Well it wasn't,' I muttered.

'Oh my god,' she said as she placed her palms on her cheeks. 'It's all my fault. I caused you to storm in there and beat that guy up. It's my fault.'

'It's not your fault,' I sighed. 'It doesn't even matter now. We're over.'

'Cal, you can't be over,' Charlie told me. 'She will come around.'

'No, she won't,' I said, my voice still flat and nonchalant. 'I saw her face, you guys didn't. I know her, you guys don't.'

The pair of them eyeballed each other and said nothing as I continued to sketch on my pad and they both returned to cleaning up.

'Are you still coming to the careers event tonight?' Tori asked me after a few minutes of silence passed by.

'Yeah,' I said with a nod. 'I'm the owner; I have to be there. I just have to make a quick stop before that.'

Today, the three of us were attending an event in Brooklyn that was being held for local businesses looking to hire and help unemployed people to find jobs. I'd received the letter a few days back and told Tori to sign us up, seeing as our waiting list had extended again, it was looking like we might need another artist. We'd decided to close the shop after a half day so we could all be at the event and after lunch, we all began clearing up. Charlie and Tori would head to the event right away but I would be meeting them there after an appointment I had; a consult with a lawyer.

'Good,' Tori said with a smile. 'It'll take your mind off things.'

'His mind won't be able to stay off it if you keep mentioning it,' Charlie told her.

'Sorry,' she mumbled. 'I just feel bad.'

'Look, don't feel bad,' I sighed. 'I chose to go in there and do what I did and she chose to end it. We were already in a fucked up place and she had been gone a week without contacting me once so I'm not surprised she's ended it. I'm over the whole thing so quit talking about it.'

Tori nodded and turned away from me, leaving me to my work and my thoughts. One thing that I had always done in the past was switch myself off from emotion. I'd grown up without a care for anyone but myself and the belief that I could only trust and rely on myself. It was only when Bethan came along and worked her way into my life that I'd started to feel something and eventually allowed myself to open up for her. Now that I had lost the sole most important thing in my life, I had no choice but to force myself back into that old mindset. The one where I don't give a fuck about anyone but myself.

'Shall we go?' Tori asked us as they finished cleaning up and we were ready to leave for the day.

'Go ahead,' I told them both. 'I'll stay here and finish this then I'll meet you guys there later.'

They both nodded and said their goodbyes before heading out and I continued on with my sketch that I was completing for a client. It was a full arm sleeve and she had pitched me her ideas for the different aspects she wanted within it and I had been working on it all day, designing the full complete piece in time for her coming in tomorrow. As well as that, sketching kept my mind occupied better than anything else did, including tattooing.

Eventually, I completed the first draft of the design and grabbed my things before turning out the lights and locking up. I jumped in my car and sped home, heading into my apartment to shower and changing into one of the smarter outfits I owned so that I looked a little more professional for the consult. I was dreading it but it had to be done and after that I had to then go act all friendly at the careers fair. I wasn't exactly in the mood to paste on a smile and convince people to come work for me, but I knew that things with Bethan weren't going to change now so wallowing in my apartment and avoiding moving on with life wasn't going to help me at all. I had to keep going and focus on myself, the only important person in my life now, as much as it hurt to try and forget her.